


The Paily Bunch

by siophiefandom



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: F/F, paily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 00:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 81,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15131291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siophiefandom/pseuds/siophiefandom
Summary: Paige McCullers and Emily Fields are both fiercely defensive when it comes to their children. It's what drives them apart - and, eventually, what brings them together. Paily, with appearances by Spencer, Hanna, and Aria. Rated T for some adult language and situations.Originally posted to fanfiction dot net May 18 - June 16, 2018





	1. In the Principal's Office

Emily curled her lip in to a frown as she sat in one of the uncomfortable wooden chairs in the waiting area outside the principal's office at her daughter's school. Every once in a while, she shot a look over at Anna, trying to strike the right balance between compassionate mother and stern parent. She wanted to make sure that Anna knew how serious the situation was.

Anna's feet were dangling beneath a chair that was too big for her, and that made her look even smaller and more vulnerable. She looked more confused than contrite. Her legs swung back and forth a time or two before she guiltily crossed them at the ankles and pointed her toes so that they touched the ground. She didn't want it to appear that she was playing around – or, worse, that she was bored. She knew that she was in trouble, even though she wasn't sure what she had done. The apologetic look that she gave for seeming not to be taking the situation seriously enough almost broke Emily's heart. She just wanted to get things moving; to find out what Anna had done. The principal's assistant couldn't give her any details over the phone, other than that Anna and a boy had been sent to the principal's office, and Emily needed to get to the school right away.

Principal Dahler wouldn't start until the boy's mother got there. Emily understood why not, but that didn't make the waiting any easier.

The boy was sitting against the other wall, with his head propped up on his arm, his elbow planted on the armrest of the chair. He looked bored, in a world-weary kind of way. Emily had a feeling that this wasn't his first trip to the principal's office. Once or twice, he locked eyes with Anna. When Emily noticed the eye contact, she gave him a good stare until his eyes shifted elsewhere. She was not going to let this boy intimidate her daughter.

Finally, the door to the waiting area opened and a woman who looked to be around Emily's age breezed in, her auburn hair tousled as if she'd run all the way there from her house - not just from the school's parking lot. The woman gave the boy a good, severe stare. He dipped his head in response, looking down between his knees to the mahogany seat of the chair where he was sitting.

"Ms. McCullers," the receptionist said, with her ever-present smile, "thank you for coming down." She was a good fit for her position; her demeanor and her smile helped ease the tension of the people - parents and children - who found themselves summoned to see Principal Dahler. She hit a buzzer on her desk and stood, walking towards the foursome. "Ms. Fields, Ms. McCullers," she said, gesturing first towards them and then towards the door, "Dr. Dahler will see you now."

Paige tightened her lip, breathing out heavily through her nose. She hadn't even had a chance to catch her breath. She didn't have the kind of job that she could just pick up and leave on a moment's notice, when she got the call from her son's school. Fortunately, she'd been able to get another of the temps to cover for her, but she'd had to wait until Marlene got back from her company-mandated break before she could leave. She sped to the school as soon as she could, without even enough time to check her lipstick. She was sure that she looked like the kind of white-trash, single mother that "Ms. Fields" no doubt assumed she was. Paige could see the look of pity on Emily's face, and she rolled her eyes in response, not even bothering to try to hide it. Emily knew nothing about her or Wayne. Paige wasn't going to let her and Principal Dahler intimidate them or push them around.

As they entered the office, Principal Dahler, looking much more jovial than the situation called for, greeted them both by name, making a hand-wich with each of them as she shook hands, and introducing them to each other. Once the pleasantries were out of the way, she backed into the large, leather chair behind her desk, gesturing to her guests that they, too, should take a seat.

"First of all," Dr. Dahler said, "I want you to know that, although it doesn't take away from the seriousness of the matter, this is actually very common. Anna and Wayne are at an age where they're still learning how to resolve conflicts with their peers, and, sometimes, when they're frustrated, they don't resolve things in the most effective manner." Dr. Dahler paused, looking first at Paige, and then at Emily. "Do you understand?"

Emily cleared her throat. Her eyes had turned to Paige when Ms. Dahler looked that way. Crossing her legs, she turned her attention back to the principal. "Dr. Dahler," she said, her voice soft and somewhat high-pitched, "I don't really even know…"

"What happened?" Paige interrupted impatiently.

"There was a minor incident involving some shoving on the playground during recess. It was very minor." Dr. Dahler repeated the word for emphasis. "But, unfortunately, Ms. James didn't see how it started. Not that it matters. We teach our children that both hitting and retaliation are wrong."

Paige scoffed, incredulous. "So what was my son supposed to do? Turn the other cheek?"

Dr. Dahler gave Paige a patient, grandmotherly smile. "Anna, Wayne, what should you do if someone pushes you?"

"Let an adult know," they recited, almost in unison.

"And if you can't?"

"Just walk away," they chorused again.

Dr. Dahler put her hands on top of her desk as she pushed her chair away from it, standing up and moving around to the front of it. She perched there, between the two families. "Look," she said in a soothing tone, "we realize that there are some mitigating circumstances. I know that it can be hard for Wayne to make friends, coming into a new school in the middle of the year, when most of the other children have already formed their peer groups. And he and Anna are both bright students, and that sometimes brings out a sense of competitiveness. That's why we don't want to make too much of this incident. We wanted to bring the parents in, just to make sure that Wayne and Anna know how seriously we take this behavior, but Ms. James and I are in agreement. We don't believe that any corrective action is necessary, beyond this discussion." She put her hand on Anna's shoulder and then on Wayne's. "They're both good kids," she assured their parents, with a smile. "They've already apologized, so I think we can consider this matter closed. Unless you have any objections?"

Emily shook her head, which was angled downward. "Thank you, Dr. Dahler."

Paige, through a tight-lipped smile, also thanked the principal as she stood up, taking Wayne by the hand to lead him out of the office.

Once Paige and Emily were back in the waiting room, Emily holding her daughter's hand and Paige with her hands on Wayne's shoulders, there was an awkward moment of silence as they stood facing each other. Their eyes locked momentarily, but neither mother had anything to say to the other. "It was nice meeting you" didn't seem appropriate for the situation, nor did, "See you soon." Emily smiled weakly and squeezed Anna's hand, signifying that it was time to go.

Later, Emily sat across the table from Anna and pulled open the package of Apple Dippers she had bought her, taking the lid off of the caramel sauce. The restaurant was relatively uncrowded, so they were able to talk.

"Anna," Emily said calmly, "how did you end up shoving Wayne?"

Anna, hunched forward in her chair, was intently focused on getting just the right amount of caramel sauce on the apple slice, swirling it to prevent the excess from spilling on the table. "I was playing with my friends at recess," she began in an earnest monotone, "and I saw him sitting against the wall by himself, so I went to see whether he was okay. I asked whether it was okay for me to sit with him, and he nodded his head. So, I started talking to him, and we were talking, and he kissed me." Anna rattled off this fact as she had the others, in an emotionless, matter-of-fact tone.

Emily's head snapped on hearing this, although she tried not to react. She didn't want Anna to think that she was in trouble. She just wanted to hear the whole story. "So, you… you shoved him?"

"No, Mommy," Anna explained, "I told him that he shouldn't kiss people without permission." Anna calmly took another apple slice and meticulously swirled it into the sauce. Emily took a couple of French fries, nodding for Anna to continue.

"So, then what happened?"

Anna shrugged her shoulders slightly, looking off into the distance. "We were lining up to go back into class, and he came over and told me that I was ugly."

Again, Emily tried to suppress her reaction. "He said that?"

Anna nodded. "So, I ignored him, because he wasn't behaving, and I kept talking to my friends. And then he pushed me on the shoulder, and I hit the wall. And I pushed him back, and the playground monitor took us out of line and said," – Anna's face twisted into a scowl and her voice got deeper, like a Disney villain's – "'You're going to the principal's office!'"

Emily squeezed her daughter's hand. "Well, I understand what you did," she said softly, "but you should never hit somebody out of anger."

"I know, Mommy." Anna, reacting to her mother's tone, suddenly looked and sounded as if she were about to cry.

"Only to protect yourself, and only if there's no way to avoid it."

Anna put her apple slice down on the napkin and folded her arms across her stomach, looking down.

"I'm not upset," Emily assured her.  _I probably would've done the same thing._  "And I'm really proud of you for checking on Wayne, when you saw him sitting by himself." Emily gave her daughter a smile and a squeeze on the shoulder.

* * *

"You want to tell me what happened today?" Paige caught Wayne's eyes in the rear-view mirror as he sat in his booster seat. He shrugged his shoulders. Paige furrowed her eyebrows. "Wayne Joseph!"

Wayne breathed heavily. "I was sitting by myself and Anna came up to me and started talking to me. And she was real nice. And she smelled nice. And she looked pretty. And she wasn't teasing me, the way the other boys were."

Paige spun around quickly to check on her son. "Who was teasing you?" she asked, catching his eyes in the mirror again. He shrugged.

Wayne was taller than most boys his age, and his movements were awkward, his motor skills not having caught up with his latest growth spurt. He dressed differently and talked with a slight hint of a South Philadelphia accent. He was an easy target for schoolyard bullying.

"So?" Paige said sharply. She felt bad for the kid, but she didn't want to let on. He needed to know that pushing a girl was not okay.

"I kissed her," Wayne admitted, watching his thumbs as he played with them.

Paige's eyes were on the road, and she was glad that Wayne couldn't see the smirk on her face. The kid really was a chip off the old block. "We don't kiss people without their permission," she said sternly, turning around to glare at him, to drive the point home.

"Yeah," he said resignedly.

"'Yeah'?" Paige prodded.

"Yes, Mommy."

Paige nodded. "So, then what?"

"So, I went to try to play with the boys, and they said that I liked her and she was my girlfriend. So we were lining up to go back into class, and I told her that she was ugly. 'Cause she's not my girlfriend, and I don't like girls!"

"Wayne Joseph Cantor!" Paige realized that she shouldn't be having this conversation while she was trying to drive. Fortunately, Rosewood was a small town. There weren't many people on the streets.

"I'm sorry!"

"And what did she say?"

"Nothing. So I pushed her."

Paige exhaled deeply. "Since when do you care what those other boys think?"

"I don't, Mommy!" Wayne protested, although it was hard for him not to care. It was hard being the oddball; the outsider.

"Well, you shouldn't be kissing people at your age. And you shouldn't call people names. And you shouldn't push people. Ever. And, Wayne, you can't let people get into your head!"

Wayne curled up into himself in his seat. He looked out of the window, trying to get control of his emotions.

"You need to make this right with Anna," Paige said.

"I said I'm sorry!" Wayne protested.

"I know, Honey. That's good. And I'm proud of you for that. But you need to make things right. She came up to you to be your friend, so you need to try to be her friend."

* * *

"Mommy, Wayne's mommy is really pretty, isn't she?" Anna asked as she held Emily's hand on the way to the car.

Emily chuckled to herself. Anna was right, but the statement, delivered so earnestly, was kind of out of the blue. "What did I tell you about beauty?" Answering her own question, Emily continued, "There are two kinds of beauty: outside beauty and inside beauty. And, unfortunately, Ms. Paige isn't very beautiful on the inside. And that's the most important kind of beauty."

Emily understood why Paige would have felt stressed when they met in the principal's office, but that didn't excuse being brusque and rude. It was not setting a good example for the children. Emily wanted to be sure that Anna knew that being pretty didn't excuse being obnoxious.

Paige was both. She was pretty. And she was pretty obnoxious.


	2. Princess

Paige shuffled the papers around the reception desk, gathering them into a pile and tapping them against the desktop to line them up. She sighed, bored, as she took a look at the clock on the wall to her left. It was only 8:30.

It was going to be a long day. Again.

There was something cruel about fate, which had landed her a job in a place like that. A place that she would never, in her wildest dreams, patronize in real life. She could only imagine the kind of spoiled snob who would the money and the inclination to afford such a place.

But she had to endure it. A job was a job. She couldn't afford to be choosy.

Paige hadn't have much time to plan her move to Rosewood. When the shit hit the fan, she'd had to move quickly. She packed herself and Wayne up and headed off to her aunt's house. She didn't know much about Rosewood, other than that her mother had grown up there, years ago. But she didn't have a lot of options, or even time to try to come up with more options.

Her aunt had been surprised to see them, when they turned up at her door, but, of course, she offered them a place to stay. Temporarily, Paige insisted; just as long as it took for her to get on her feet. But the Philadelphia bureaucracy in Philadelphia moved at a glacial pace, and it was taking forever for the Philadelphia School District, her former employer, to get her paperwork transferred over. Without her credentials and background checks, she wasn't even able to apply for a job with the Wood County School District.

So, in the meantime, she had taken a job at a temp agency. That's how, despite her education and her certifications, she found herself planted behind a reception desk, counting the hours – and the days.

* * *

Emily winced when she opened the door and saw Paige working there. She stood frozen for a moment, trying to figure out her options. But she really didn't have any. She knew how important this therapy was.

Paige, who had seen her in the doorway once the door opened, was gazing into her monitor when Emily made it to the desk, no more eager than Emily was for their second encounter.

"Excuse me," Emily said tentatively as she stood in front of the desk.

"Name?" Paige barked, without looking up.

"Emily Fields." Emily knew that Paige recognized her. She wasn't surprised that Paige had chosen to make it difficult.

Paige slowly lifted her head with an impatient scowl. " _Pet's_  name," she clarified, with a tone that made it sound as if she were talking to the stupidest person alive.

"Oh," Emily said, clearly rattled. "Um… Princess." She cringed internally, as soon as the name left her lips.

Paige breathed sharply out of her nose and started typing into the system. It wasn't exactly a chuckle, but Emily knew that's Paige was laughing at the name. "My daughter named her," she explained, upset with herself for feeling the need to try to justify herself to Paige, and knowing full well that justifying herself only made her look even more pathetic and gave more power to Paige.

Paige raised her left hand. "Hey, no judgment here. It makes sense that a 'Princess' would need therapy."

Emily was getting upset. "Well, for your information, she's very traumatized! We had a big thunderstorm last month, and she's been... She hasn't been herself. She can't calm her nerves, and the slightest unexpected noise sends her into a panic."

Paige was looking up at her as if she had been speaking another language. When Emily finally stopped talking, Paige handed her a clipboard. "Fill this out and bring it back to me."

* * *

Paige's eyes kept finding Emily and Princess as Emily sat, a pen in one hand and her dog in the other, steadying the clipboard in her lap as she filled out the form. Emily occasionally lowered her head to whisper something into Princess' ear; words of comfort, probably, although Paige joked to herself that Emily was asking Princess for the answers to the questions. Paige smiled at that thought. It wasn't a mocking smirk; it was a smile of kinship, or understanding. Princess wasn't the kind of pet that Paige would have chosen for herself, but she had to admit that the animal was cute and well-behaved. She could see why she was so important to Emily. And even though she judged Emily for naming her Princess, she understood. Totally. That's what moms do; they give in to their kids' choices. Paige knew how great it would have made Wayne feel to be able to choose a name, and not have it overruled by an adult. And she knew that kids choose names silly like "Princess," because that's what kids do.

She and Emily weren't that different, she told herself. Emily was tough, when she needed to be, proud, and fiercely defensive of her kid. If life had dealt either one of them one or two different cards, Paige thought, their roles could have been reversed; Emily sitting behind that desk, and Paige cradling Princess, trying to stave off the panic attacks. Not that Paige wanted Emily's life. She was content with the way that she'd played the hand she'd been dealt. But, watching Emily and her dog, Paige was able to acknowledge that Emily, too, had played the hand she'd been dealt. Paige didn't begrudge her.

She maintained a poker-face when Emily returned with the clipboard, standing awkwardly in front of the large, semi-circular reception desk, not knowing what the next step was. Paige tipped her chin towards the seating area where Emily had just been. "Meghan will call 'Princess' when Dr. Marx is ready for her."

* * *

Emily crossed one leg over the other, unable to stop them from trembling. She was uncomfortable in this new situation, and she was worried for Princess. And the receptionist certainly wasn't helping calm her, or even making her feel welcome. It occurred to Emily that she should say something. Perhaps there was a survey that she would be asked to fill out after her visit. Someone needed to know about the poor customer service. She looked up at the reception desk, where Paige was tapping away at the computer, looking as if she were trying to appear busy. She knew that it couldn't be easy for Paige, working at a job like that; raising a child on a job like that. Emily had noticed that Paige didn't wear a ring on her finger, so she assumed that Paige was a single mom, like her. But Emily had the advantage of a flexible schedule. And she had had help from her mother, when Anna was first born, and the ongoing support of her friends. She didn't know what kind of support Paige had, but she could tell that Paige was very tired. Beyond tired, actually.  _Weary_.

Emily sighed. She just wanted Meghan to show up and call her to back to the doctor's office, already. Having no idea what to expect from therapy, she feared the worst. She worried that the doctor wouldn't let her stay in the room with them, and she was sure that Princess would freak out if Emily abandoned her in an unfamiliar place with an unfamiliar person, in a room full of unfamiliar smells.

Emily's nerves were getting to be too much for her. She got up and took a walk around the reception area, to burn off some of the nervous energy, and, she hoped, to help acclimate Princess to her surroundings. She bounced her gently up and down in her arms as she navigated from one plant and one painting to another, stopping as if showing them to a child. Princess was dutifully attentive, although she was more interested in picking up scent-markers than anything else.

* * *

"Princess?"

Emily and Princess looked toward the sound of Meghan's voice, finding a tall, slender platinum blonde with pale purple highlights. She looked to be still a high school student, or maybe a student at Hollis. Her hair was in a pixie cut, and she had a smile to match. She couldn't have been more different from Paige, in appearance or attitude. "Come this way, please," she said invitingly, once she had Emily and Princess' attention.

Emily shot a glance at Paige's way as she headed for the door. Paige was smiling to herself with her gaze lowered to a set of papers that she was stacking, seemingly still not having gotten over the name "Princess." Emily couldn't worry about that. She had bigger things on her mind. Besides, she had learned long ago not to be overly concerned about what other people thought about who she was or the choices she made.

"Hi, there, Princess!" Meghan oozed, in a jaunty, high-pitched voice, as she scratched the dog's head. Princess sniffed her fingers. She seemed to trust this slim, statuesque stranger. Dogs and children were usually good judges of character, Emily thought. She started to feel more at ease.

Meghan put a hand on Emily's shoulder, seeming to sense her discomfort. "Do you have any questions?" Emily shook her head. "Dr. Marx is very good," Meghan assured her. "She's in good hands."

"Wi… Will I be able to stay with Pr…" Emily demurred at saying the name, after her experience with Paige. "with her?"

"Of course you will," Meghan said, her eyebrows creased in what could only be described as motherly concern.

* * *

Emily – and, more important, Princess – felt much better on the way out, after forty minutes with Dr. Marx. Right up until Meghan, directing her towards the exit, said, "Paige will help you get set up for our next session."

_Right. Paige. Back to reality._

Paige was patient, even helpful, as they set up the next appointment.  _Her morning coffee must have kicked in_ , Emily thought to herself. "That's it?" Emily asked, after everything was arranged.

"That's it," Paige assured her, and Emily turned to leave with a smile; a smile that came more from relief than from politeness. "Bye,  _Princess_ ," Paige called behind them.

And, just like that, the spell was broken. Emily wasn't sure whether Paige was referring to her dog or derisively calling her a princess, but, either way, the overtone of sarcasm was unmistakable.  _Whatever._  But, if that was what she had to put up with, she decided, it was more than worth it, for Princess' sake.

* * *

Paige was washing her hands after her lunch break when she paused to look at herself in the mirror. She still hadn't gotten used to this new look; the much shorter hair. But Rosewood was supposed to be a new start; a break with her past, and cutting her hair was a part of that. Symbolically, at least. It was a declaration of her independence. She could be the person she wanted to be and do what she wanted, without having to worry about anyone else's opinion.

Still, it was a shock. She half wondered whether the symbolic gesture was worth it; worth having to face a stranger in the mirror every day. She told herself that the old Paige was the stranger – the Paige who was too afraid to step out of her comfort zone – and who worried to much about staying in other people's comfort zones.

Wayne had really been shaken by the change, the first time he saw it. In his childlike rationale, he thought that it was some kind of disguise, to hide her from the demons of her past. Paige laughed, in spite of herself, when she told him. She didn't look too terribly different. Still, she could understand the thinking, from Wayne's point of view. He'd had a lot thrown at him in a short amount of time. On top of it all, he had to deal with being the new kid in school, leaving all of his old friends behind. Paige had been given a lot of training about childhood trauma. That's what made her so fiercely protective of her child. That's what made her stick it out at Dr. Marx's office until her paperwork came through from the school district. And that was why she had been so surly in the principal's office. Surely even Emily could understand that. Surely someone who cared so much about her dog could understand why Paige would do anything to take care of her child.

 


	3. The D-Word

"Wayne and I had a spitting contest at recess today."

"Oh, you did?" Emily, trying to get dinner together after a long day of errands and appointments, was tuning in and out of Anna's recap of her day.

"He told me that I spit pretty far for a girl, but I told him that girls can do anything that boys can do."

"Yeah, you're right."

"Tomorrow, we're going to race to the old tree and back, because he told me that boys are faster than girls."

Emily put down the box of rice that she had been holding as she tried to decipher the cooking instructions. "Honey, do you think you should be spending so much time with Wayne?"

"It's not so much time, Mommy! Recess is the shortest period of the day!"

"No, that's not what I mean." Emily stooped to one knee, getting down to Anna's eye level. She put one hand on her daughter's shoulder and smoothed the other through her hair. "Don't you think you should play Marica or Tara or Nicole?"

"Mommy, her name's Mariko."

"Yes, Mariko. Why don't you play with your girlfriends?"

"I do, Mommy. But Wayne's my friend, too. You said it doesn't matter if someone's a boy or a girl if you like him."

"That's  _true,_  but…"

"And nobody ever plays with Wayne. And you told me that I should be nice to people when people aren't nice to them."

"I know, Anna. I'm just saying…" Anna was giving her a look of pure innocence. She wasn't challenging or contradicting her mother; she was only trying to reconcile what Emily was saying with the things she had always taught her. Emily understood that she was confusing her daughter. She took in a deep breath and tried to reset. "All I'm saying, Honey, is that Wayne was very mean to you, remember? We all had to go to see Principal Dahler?"

"I know, Mommy. But you told me that we should forgive people, when they say that they're sorry!"

Emily laughed, giving Anna a hug. Anna wasn't sure what was so funny or why she was getting a hug.

Emily loved her daughter. She loved the fact that she had taken her words so seriously. And children had a better capacity to forgive and move on. Anna had a good point. There was no reason that she shouldn't befriend Wayne. She gave her a kiss on the forehead. "I'm proud of you, Honey."

Anna wasn't sure why. "I'm proud of you, too, Mommy."

Emily went back to work, trying to get dinner together. Not long after, Anna started up the conversation again.

"Wayne told me that Ms. Paige used to have longer hair."

"She did?" Emily, her focus back on dinner, was giving Anna just enough feedback to keep the conversation alive.

"She wanted it to look like Rihanna. But she thinks it looks like bad Miley Cyrus."

Emily stifled a laugh. She found it hard to believe that Paige was the kind of woman who obsessed over Rihanna or Miley Cyrus.

"I know how come Wayne and Mrs. Paige and Wayne moved to Rosewood, Mommy."

"You do?"

"Uh huh." Anna nodded. She curled her forehead. "Mommy, what's a 'dyke?'"

Emily gasped, almost dropping the spoon that she was holding, but she calmed herself, mot wanting to alarm her daughter. "Honey, where did you hear that word?" she stammered.

It had been one of Emily's fears that her daughter would be bullied because of her mother's sexuality, but she never expected that it would start that young.

"Wayne told me that his daddy came home one night, and he was drunk, and he told his mommy that no son of his was going to be raised by a – and then he said the f-word, and then he said, 'dyke.'" Anna recounted the story in emotionless detail, as if she were on television, reading the nightly news.

Emily bit her lip. She realized that she had no idea what Paige had had to deal with; much less Wayne. She could understand why Paige would be so guarded. No child should have to be exposed to any of that - a drunken father, fights between his parents, abusive, homophobic language, and bringing the child into it, as if to make the child choose a side.

Emily was glad that Wayne had someone to befriend him at school, and glad that Anna had been the one to fill that role. Still, she wasn't sure that this story was something that Paige would want Wayne's friends to know about.

"Sweetie, I don't think that you should be talking about things like that with Wayne."

"I'm sorry, Mommy!" Anna was trying not to cry. She couldn't seem to get anything right, when it came to Paige and Wayne.

"I'm not upset, Anna."

"I told him that he should never say the F-word!"

"That's not what I'm talking about… it's just… Well, some things are family business, and I'm not sure that this is the kind of thing that Ms. Paige would be okay with having other people know about."

"I'm  _sorry!_  I didn't  _ask_  him to tell me. He just told me! I don't know why he told me, Mommy!" Anna was afraid that Emily was going to tell her that she couldn't play with Wayne anymore.

"Anna, you didn't do anything wrong."

Anna put her head down, still feeling guilty, still trying to discern what sin she had committed. Emily gave her a reassuring hug.

"I didn't tell him about  _our_  family, Mommy," she offered earnestly, in case that was what her mother was worried about.

"I know, Sweetheart! I'm not mad at you. You didn't do anything wrong, okay?" Emily hugged her daughter again. Anna was probably right: Wayne really did need a friend. Much more than Anna realized. More than even Emily had realized.

"So, can I still be friends with Wayne?"

"Yeah. Yes, you can, Anna. Of course, you can. From the sound of it, he could really use a good friend."

Paige, Emily thought, could probably use a good friend, too. But Emily didn't know how to make that transition. She was pretty sure that, if she approached Paige on the basis of this new information, Paige would stiffen up, go into self-defense mode, and reject any attempts to help.

Emily rubbed Anna's back as she released her from the hug. "What do you say we get a pizza tonight?" There was no point in trying to make dinner anymore. Emily had too much on her mind.

"Okay, Mommy!" Anna didn't understand the sudden change of menu, but she had no complaints about it.

Emily put away the rice and chicken that she had started preparing and got onto her laptop, to order dinner. "Shall we get the cinnamon sticks?" she asked, as if there were any doubt how Anna would reply.

Once dinner was ordered, Emily let Anna help her get the table ready before sending her off to play by herself until the pizza arrived. As soon as she was alone, she got back onto her laptop, to see what kind of resources were available in the Rosewood area to help someone in Paige's position. That didn't address her real question, though. She still didn't know how she would bring the subject up with Paige. But she knew whom to ask.

* * *

After dinner and a story or two to get Anna off to dreamland, Emily picked up her phone and placed a call to Texas.

"How's my favorite daughter?" Wayne asked, as he always did when he picked up a phone call from Emily. Emily was very young when she figured out that she was his  _only_  daughter. When she confronted him about it, shortly after her sixth birthday, he deflected by saying that all of the billions of women in the world were  _someone's_  daughter, and, out of all those daughters, she was his favorite.

("What about Mommy?" Emily asked.

"You're Mommy's favorite, too!" Wayne said confidently.

"But Mommy's Grandma and Grandpa's daughter! Isn't _she_  your favorite daughter?"

Pam Fields smirked at Wayne, interested to see how he would tap-dance his way out of that question.

"You're  _both_  my favorite," he assured Emily, gathering his two favorite daughters into his arms and kissing them on their foreheads.

Wayne Fields was no fool.)

"How's my favorite dad?" Emily rushed the words out, finishing her greeting at the same time that Wayne finished his.

"And how's my granddaughter doing?"

"She's great," Emily said, her smile almost audible. "She misses her Grandpa, though. She can't wait to get back to Texas to see you this summer. She really misses you. We both do!"

"Uh oh!" Wayne laughed from deep within his belly at that last comment. "I must really be in trouble, now. What's up, Emmy? You need someone to pay for a wedding?"

Emily scoffed playfully. "Ha! You wish!"

"Yes, I  _do_  wish," Wayne asserted. "Oka, so, what is it? Car repair bill? My granddaughter needs braces?"

"Dad…" Emily protested, drawing out the word, "I don't just call you when I  _need_  something!"

"No, that's true," Wayne conceded. "You also call me on my birthday and Father's day!"

"Ugh! Dad! Stop!" Emily started laughing, too. She did talk to her parents regularly, but she usually called their landline, so that she could talk to both of them. Wayne was right to be suspicious of the fact that she had called his cell phone. "But, um… actually, I  _do_  need something," she said lightly. "I need some advice."

"Ah, advice!" Wayne mused, leaning back in his chair. "A father's favorite thing to give – and the cheapest!" Turning a bit more serious, he asked, "What's going on, Emmy?"

Emily explained the entire story about Paige, from the principal's office through the therapist's office, ending with the news that Anna had brought home with her that afternoon.

"Oh, yeah. It sounds as if she really could use a little support."

"Right… But, how do I do that without…"

"Well, Emmy..." Wayne tapped his fingers against the buttons on the TV's remote control, tracing out patterns but not actually pushing any of them. "The best thing you can do is become a friend to her. You know, no one wants a 'concerned acquaintance' to come in and try to 'fix' their lives." Emily knew her father. She knew that he was making the air quotes even though he was on a phone call and not facetiming. "Nobody wants to be someone's well-meaning charity case," he continued. "If you really want to support her, you're going to have to get to know her – and let her get to know you. You have to be as willing to accept help from her as you want her to be to accept it from you, you know."

"But, do I tell her what Anna told me? I mean, how do I explain my sudden interest in being her friend?"

"I wouldn't." Wayne replied. "She might know that you know; her son might have talked to her about the conversation, as Anna did with you. You know, we Waynes tend to be very honest and intelligent people." Emily groaned audibly, since her father couldn't see her pained expression. "But, whether or not she knows, you don't have to say it out loud. Not at the beginning, certainly. Just use Anna as an excuse – invite Wayne over for a playdate, maybe invite Paige in, you guys all go over to the park together – you know, start small and build it up. And don't go into it with the attitude that you're there to help her. Just be there as a friend to her. When the time's right, she'll open up. Or, if she doesn't, you'll know in your gut when it's appropriate to bring it up. Make sense?"

Emily had been indicating her agreement with little intonations as her father talked. The course of action that he was suggesting seemed reasonable, and it seemed like something she could do. "Thanks, Dad," she said sincerely. "You really helped me out."

Wayne chuckled into the phone. "That's what dads do!"

"Yeah, whatever..." As much as she appreciated his advice, Emily needed to take his ego down a notch. "Every once in a while, you come up with a winner."

Wayne laughed along with Emily. "Do you want me to get your mother on the phone?"

"No, that's okay," Emily said pleasantly. "Just tell her that I'll call you guys later in the week."

"Okay. Looking forward to it. Take care."

"Take care, Dad. I love you."

Emily knew that calling her father had been the right thing to do. She felt better about her prospects of being able to be there for Paige and Wayne. And she was excited at the thought that she and Paige could wind up being friends.


	4. Ladies (Loving Ladies)' Night

Paige ran her fingertips over the slightly worn wooden surface of the bar that was in front of her, tapping out a quick rhythm against it with both hands as she tried to steel her nerves.

This was all new to her. She was new to Rosewood, new to the bar scene, and new to being the pursuer, rather than the pursued. Perhaps all the mess with her husband had been worth it, on some level, she thought to herself. Perhaps it was the push that she needed to kickstart her life. Anyway, there she was, sitting at the bar, surveying the crowd, readying herself to take the next step.

She had seen a tip in an on-line forum about the special ladies' nights at the Radley, the first Thursday of every month. That word "special" was with a nod and a wink. It was more like, "Ladies loving ladies'" nights. There was always a good number of straight women there on first Thursdays, for some kind of girls' night out. The straight women invariably traveled in packs; laughing among themselves as they sat on the sidelines taking in all of the the goings-on, as if they were watching some live and in-person reality show being played out at the bar.

But the women who were there alone were fair game – gay, bisexual, or simply curious; the occasional straight girl wondering how the other half lived – according to the information that Paige had read on the web. Paige had had her eye on one lone woman for quite some time, trying to figure out how to make her move.

She cleared her throat as she approached. "Excuse me," she said with a smile. "I was wondering whether I could buy you a drink."

The pale, slender woman turned around and looked Paige up and down. "That's it? 'Could you buy me a drink?' That's your pick-up line?" Her tone was pleasant, if somewhat befuddled.

"I'm not actually all that great at this," Paige confessed. "Besides, I figure, if any of those pick-up lines worked, a woman as attractive as you would've been snapped up a long time ago."

The woman slowly nodded her head with an appreciative smirk. "Better, better," she said, pushing the empty bar stool closer to Paige with her leg. "Mine's a Michelob Light." She turned towards Paige as Paige got the bartender's attention and ordered two bottles. "I'm Spencer Hastings," she said, flirtatiously pulling the hair away from her face and twirling it by the nape of her neck. "And you're… new in town."

Paige laughed shyly at the unexpected greeting. "Paige McCullers," she said. "And now, who's the one tossing out lame pick-up lines?"

"That wasn't a line," Spencer said flatly. "It was a statement of fact. Rosewood's a small town, and I've lived here all my life. Believe me, I know every woman-loving-woman in town."

"Okay, but, how do you know I'm not from out of town?"

Spencer pointed to the bar, where Paige had placed her phone face-down. On the back, in a pocket attached to her phone case, Paige's name tag from the pet therapist's office was clearly visible.

"Oh, yeah," Paige said softly. She picked up the phone and played with it in her hands, hiding the incriminating name tag. "I know it's rude to have a phone out when you're talking to someone face to face, but…" Paige tightened her lips and spilled. "I left my son with my aunt, and I don't want to miss a call, in case anything happens." That wasn't how Paige had planned to break the news that she had a child, but she did want to make it known up-front, in case whomever she met that night had an issue with kids.

Spencer didn't flinch. "How old is your son?"

"Five," Paige said, subconsciously smiling as she thought of Wayne. "He'll be five this summer." She idly picked up her phone, and Spencer leaned in. Paige, confused, gave her a questioning look.

"Oh." Spencer backed away a little. "I thought you were going to show me some pics."

Paige chuckled. "You thought I'd try to use cute pictures of my kid to pick up women in a bar?"

Spencer snorted. "Well, I know somewhere we can go that's a little more appropriate for sharing cute pictures of your kid." She raised an eyebrow, to see whether Paige was interested.

Paige blew out a puff of air. "Uh… okay. Sure. I mean, yeah, we can get out of here."

Spencer smiled, bemused at Paige's flustered reaction. She gestured behind her to what looked like a private room. "I just need to let my friends know that I'm leaving. Wait for me here?"

"Oh, shit!" Paige dipped her head, suddenly realizing that Spencer wasn't one of those women on their own who were at the bar to meet someone. "I…" She shook her head, with a shy apologetic grin. "I didn't know that you here were with a group."

Spencer put her hand on Paige's arm, giving it a slight squeeze. "I wouldn't have let you buy me a drink if I weren't interested," she said, staring deep into Paige's eyes, to show that she was serious.

Paige chuckled, relieved, and leaned in, with a look of mock-concern on her face. "So, that means you really  _are_  coming back from that mysterious backroom?" She was only half-joking.

Spencer rolled her eyes dismissively as she backed away from the bar. "Two seconds," she assured Paige, flashing two fingers as she said it.

Paige stood at the bar, decidedly nervous, peeling away at the label of her beer and taking a sip or two as she waited. She was trying not to count off two minutes in her head, still a little worried that Spencer wasn't, in fact, going to come back. It had seemed too easy. And, even if Spencer really  _was_  coming back, Paige worried about where she was going to take her. She wasn't looking for a hook-up, back at Spencer's place. And Spencer didn't seem the type, anyway. If nothing else, she was a honest player, Paige had learned. She wouldn't try to trick Paige into going back to her place; if that were her intention, she would have said it straight out. "Just chill," Paige told herself out loud. She took another swig from the bottle.

Before long, she saw Spencer, now with a shawl around her shoulders, making her way back to the bar. She was half-running, since her good-byes had taken longer than she had expected, and longer than the promised two minutes. She dropped something into her purse as she neared – lipstick, Paige surmised – and closed it up. Putting on a smile, she linked arms with Paige. "Ready?"

Paige nodded.

"Now, just to be clear," Spencer said as they headed towards the exit, "I don't have any expectations for tonight. You seem like a straight-shooter who's easy to talk to, and easy on the eyes. Maybe we'll end up friends, maybe we'll end up more than that. But, tonight, we're definitely ending as friends."

Paige nodded. "Perfect." She couldn't ask for anything more than that. She was respected Spencer's straightforwardness, and she was, frankly, relieved by what Spencer had said. "So, where are we headed?"

"A friend of mine has a coffee shop. It's kind of low-key. Are you up for a little walk?"

* * *

"So, you work for Dr. Marx?" Spencer asked as they headed towards The Brew.

Paige sighed. "Uh… For now. I'm temping, actually, while I wait for my credentials to come through. I don't know whether you know anything about Philadelphia, but it can take forever to get the most basic things through the bureaucracy."

"Actually," Spencer said, unlinking their arms and reaching into her purse, "I know a lot about Philadelphia. I've got a few connections who could probably grease the skids for you."

Spencer handed Paige a business card:  **Spencer Hastings, Attorney at Law**. The office was in Philadelphia. "Wow," Paige said, lifting the card up appreciatively. "That's great. Thank you!"

"Now, why do I get the feeling that you're never going to call?"

Paige chuckled nervously. "Do I look like the kind of girl who would never call?"

"No," Spencer countered, "You look like the kind of girl who would never accept anyone else's help, because you think that you have to solve all of your problems by yourself." She stared at Paige, who kind of winced at the accuracy of the description, and then shrugged her shoulders. Spencer rolled her eyes. Tucking the card into the pocket at the waist of Paige's vest, she said, "Well, if you find yourself stuck – or you just get tired of spending all day working for a pet therapist, maybe you'll use this."

* * *

Spencer returned to the booth with Paige's cappuccino and a drink for herself that looked complex beyond Paige's comprehension. "So," she said, handing Paige her drink as she sat down, "I was promised some cute pictures?"

Paige chuckled and pulled out her phone. "I'll leave it up to you to judge how cute they are."

Spencer leaned in as Paige scrolled through picture after picture. Paige didn't recognize the scent that hit her nostrils as Spencer closed in, but it felt very familiar to her, somehow. She tried not to let herself get distracted by it.

It was surprising to Paige how quickly the pictures had accumulated on her phone, in just under five years. Paige provided some background on some of them, trying to strike a balance between filling in the blanks and boring Spencer with endless anecdotes about her pride and joy.

Wayne's father was in some of the pictures, and Paige ended up telling Spencer the whole story – how they met and fell in love in college; how they drifted apart; how Paige began acknowledging the feelings that she had for other women, and how it all came crashing down.

"That's how I ended up temping." Paige was grateful for the opportunity to let Spencer know that it had been the result of something other than bad planning on her part. "I kind of had to get out of there right away."

Spencer gripped Paige's wrist. "Oh, yeah, of course you did!" Paige nodded, appreciative of Spencer's understanding. "God – you wouldn't want Wayne to be raised by a bigot like that!"

"Exactly! Yeah, once he said what he did, I knew I had to get Wayne out of there. I mean, there's no way he didn't overhear some of the things that Trevor said to me that night."

"Well, you can't beat yourself up over that," Spencer reassured her. "Listen, you did the right thing for Wayne. And for yourself. So, brava for that!" Spencer sat back in her seat and stared off to the side, slightly. "Believe me, I know a little something about bigotry," she said, with only a hint of bitterness in her voice.

"Be… because you're gay?"

Spencer scoffed slightly. "Yeah, I do still get a little of that. But, actually, I was referring to being bi. So, you know, I get it from both sides. I'm not gay enough for some people, and I'm not straight enough for others. And there are a lot of people who are willing to accept someone who's lesbian, but not someone who's bisexual. It's as if they think that I'm trying to get away with something – 'Just choose a side!'" She deepened her voice in a mocking tone for that last quote.

Leaning a little closer, Spencer asked, "Do you identify as…" It wasn't a question that she would ordinarily ask someone she'd just met, but, since she knew that Paige had been in a long-term relationship with a man, she didn't feel that it was out of bounds.

Paige sighed. "Honestly," she said slowly, "I'm not sure I know the answer to that. I mean, I know that there was a time when I loved Trevor. I won't deny that those feelings were real. And the attraction was there on all levels – physically, emotionally, romantically. And yet, I don't really see myself…" Paige raised her hands and let them drop softly on the table. "I don't know. To tell you the truth, I'm kind of new at all this," she said with a shrug.

Spencer smiled. "Don't worry about it," she said, rubbing Paige's arm. "You don't have to declare a major. You love whom you love, it really is that simple."

Paige smiled. They both knew that it wasn't really that simple. But they both really wished that it was.

Over another round of caffeinated beverages, Paige got to know a little more about Spencer. It was nice to have a new friend in a new town. But, as the evening wore on, it was obvious that they were just friends. They were too much alike to pursue anything more than that. And they were both too brutally honest to pretend that there was a chance for anything more between them that.

So, as they gathered their things to leave, it wasn't a shock, and it didn't seem like a brush-off, when Paige heard Spencer say, "You know, I've got a good friend whom I'd like to introduce you to. I bet you two would really hit it off."

"Oh, really?"

Spencer nodded, helping Paige out of the booth and ushering her towards the door. "Yeah. We were best friends growing up – There were four of us. Actually," Spener said with a grin, "she and I actually tried dating not long after I got out of law school, but…" Spencer laughed at the memory. "It was like trying to date your cousin, or something. I don't know." Her body shuddered. "It was just too weird."

"But you still stayed friends?"

"Oh, yeah," Spencer said enthusiastically. "Emily's great. It's impossible  _not_  to be friends with her."

The wheels started turning in Paige's head.  _Emily._ Rosewood, as Spencer had pointed out earlier, was a small town. Still, Emily was a popular name. There had to be more than one. "Emily?" she probed.

"Yeah." Spencer's eyes widened with realization. "You know, she's actually got a daughter who's about Wayne's age. They're probably in the same class. Does he go to Rosewood Elementary?"

Paige almost choked. "Emily Fields?"

"Oh, you've met her?" She squeezed Paige's shoulder. "She's great, right?"

"She's, uh…" Paige swallowed whatever she was about to say. "Yeah. Emily's great."

Paige smiled politely. She was grateful for her new, Rosewood friend. If nothing else, finding a good friend had made the evening worthwhile. She had hoped for something more when she first met Spencer, and had hoped again, when Spencer said that she knew someone, but that hope had quickly faded, too. Global warming might be a myth, the Earth might not really be round, and exposure to radon might not actually cause cancer. But there was one thing that Paige knew beyond a doubt: There was no chance in Hell that Emily Fields would want anything to do with her. Ever.


	5. Spencer Who?

Anna was curled up in bed like a little hedgehog, her back slowing rising and falling as she breathed in and out, in and out. Emily smoothed her hand over her daughter's long, dark hair, smiling as she did. It seemed a shame to have to wake her, but she knew that she had to.

Anna went through her usual cycle of confusion, resentment, and clinginess in the moments after Emily, in her gentlest voice, nudged her awake. Emily loved these morning moments with her child. They contained a microcosm of all the joys and frustrations of parenthood.  _Single_  parenthood, she thought to herself. As far back as Health class in middle school, when Ms. Woodman taught them, in the coldest, most scientific, and least romanticized possible terms, the secrets of reproduction, Emily had known, somehow, that it was something that she wanted to experience on her own. Back in those days, she didn't feel the least attraction or even slight curiosity about the boys in her class, and attraction to girls wasn't something that had ever been presented as a serious alternative.

A young girl's dreams die hard. In Emily's case, the dream of parenting on her own only became more firmly entrenched. Even in the middle of all of her relationships in high school and college, she still saw her grown-up self as a mother, going through life with a child at her side. Despite the various women who had come and gone from her life and the various levels of feelings she had for them, she saw tended to see herself and her children in her future more so than herself and her partner.

Perhaps it was a self-fulfilling prophecy, but when Emily found herself in a position to follow that dream, she didn't hesitate. The process had not been without some setbacks and frustrations, but it was ultimately successful, and Emily wouldn't have traded her family for anything in the world.

* * *

"So, I've been thinking," Emily announced during breakfast. Anna looked up from her cereal like a sponge, ready to soak up every word that her mother had to say. "You were right," Emily continued. "Wayne could use a friend. It's good that you're befriending him."

Anna's face lit up at the news. Her mother's approval meant all the world to her – and she was relieved that she wasn't in trouble because of the things that Wayne had told her. "Mommy," Anna said with childish excitement over a newly discovered fact, "he has the same name as Grandpa."

Emily laughed at the announcement, which seemed to come out of nowhere, and tousled Anna's hair, leaning over to kiss her on the forehead. "That's right, Honey!" It hadn't taken as long as it often did for Anna to get up that morning, so they were able to take their time over breakfast. It felt nice to be able to relax with Anna, and not have to worry about getting her out to school.

Emily let Anna take a few more spoonfuls of cereal before she said, "Maybe he can come over sometime and play."

"Really?" Anna's eyes were wide with excitement.

"Let me talk to his mommy first," Emily cautioned, adding, "Don't mention anything to him until I check it out with her, okay?"

Anna nodded her head. She remembered the lesson from the night before. She knew that she had to be careful about what she said to Wayne.

* * *

Paige took a deep breath, unable to keep herself from checking the front door semi-obsessively. That, and the clock. She had seen the appointments; she knew that Emily and Princess would be showing up at any minute. There was a nervous anticipation in her stomach. It had no business being there, and she was trying hard to suppress it, but trying to get rid of it was only making it worse.  _So, she likes girls_ , she thought.  _So what? So, Spencer thinks that we'd be a good match. Big deal_ , she told herself. Spencer didn't know their history. And they obviously had no future. Paige had to be cool. She couldn't let on that she knew about Emily's sexuality. She would have to act as if nothing had happened. Of course, Paige had no way of knowing that Emily, for her part, was telling not to let on that she knew about Paige's sexuality.

That wasn't the only reason that Emily's adrenaline was pumping the way it did back her competitive swimming days. She knew that it wasn't going to be easy to do what she had to do. Reaching out to Paige was going to be difficult enough, but she had to do so without letting Paige know the reason that she was befriending her.

"Hi," Emily said, a little bit too enthusiastically. "It's Emily and Princess!" she said jauntily. She cringed to herself, steeling herself for a judgmental look from Paige, but, to her surprise, Paige smiled almost cordially at her. Emily was Spencer's friend, Paige thought. If Spencer thought so highly of her, it was certainly worth getting over their horrible first impressions and giving themselves a chance at friendship.

Emily lingered at the front desk for a moment or two after check-in, tapping her index finger against the desktop a couple of times. Paige didn't know what to expect, so she avoided Emily's eyes as much as she could. "Listen," Emily said tentatively. "You know, our kids really get along, so, I was thinking…" Emily looked Paige in the eye, hoping that Paige would pick up the thread of the conversation and make things easier for her. Paige, though, was looking up at her in what looked to be panic. Emily stumbled over her words a bit, but pressed on. "I was thinking that Wayne should come over sometime." Paige was still frozen in place. Emily stammered a further explanation. "Y... you know, for a playdate, or something."

"Oh, God." Paige, mortified, rubbed her forehead. " _Spencer.._."

Emily cocked her head, confused. "Spencer?"

Paige, realizing she'd said the name out loud, peeked up at Emily and explained, "She swore to me that she wouldn't say anything."

"Spencer… Hastings?" Emily was trying to figure out what was going on. "How do you know Spencer?"

Paige sat up abruptly, suddenly realizing that Spencer actually hadn't said anything. But there was no way for her to explain what she had thought Spencer had said without giving away what Spencer had said. "Wait, what?" she said, to buy some time. "A… a playdate?"

Emily's nerves still had the best of her, so, when she heard the word "playdate," her brain quickly shifted back to the speech that she had been informally rehearsing in the car ever since she dropped Anna off at school. "Yeah. I was thinking, some Saturday afternoon, Wayne could come by my house, or we could meet in the park…" Emily thought that a meeting in the park, neutral ground, might be easier for Paige to say yes to.

Paige couldn't help smiling. She truly loved her son, and she knew how difficult it had been for him to leave all of his friends behind the way he'd had to when they moved to Rosewood;- suddenly, with no time for her to prepare him for the transition, and no time for him to say good-bye to his friends. "Actually," Paige said, cutting Emily off, "that sounds great."

"Can I get your number?" Emily handed Paige her phone, and Paige typed in the digits. Emily sent her a quick text, and Paige held up her own phone, verifying that she had received it. Emily tapped both hands against the desktop. "Okay," she said softly, turning towards the seating area.

Once Emily and Princess were called back to Dr. Marx's office, Paige pounded her head on the desk a few times, laughing to herself at her stupidity. She had truly dodged a bullet. She couldn't believe that she had let Spencer's name slip out, but, fortunately, Emily had been too nervous and distracted to follow up on it.

Emily stopped by the reception desk on the way out of the building after her appointment. "Hey, what was it that you started to say about Spencer before?" Paige just sat there, looking dumbfounded, so Emily continued, "You know, when I was asking about the playdate?"

Paige shook her head quickly, as if to clear it. "Oh, nothing… I was just… I thought you said, 'Spencer,' instead of, you know, 'Princess,' so…"

"Oh! Okay!" Between her nervousness before the appointment and all of the things that Dr. Marx had done with her and Princess during the appointment, the details of their earlier encounter had gotten fogged-over. "Spencer" instead of "Princess" made sense, she thought – having pretty forgotten how and when Spencer invoked the name in the first place. "It's just weird, because one of my best friends is named Spencer, so…"

Paige smiled, nodding her head in understanding, a little relieved that Emily had bought her explanation. But, then it hit her: Eventually, Emily would find out that she and Spencer had met.

"I… uh…" Paige cleared her throat. "I actually know Spencer," she admitted. Emily raised an eyebrow. "She's… uh… she's helping me with a legal matter." Paige took a sharp breath, realizing how incriminating that must've sounded. "I'm trying to get some employment records transferred from Philly, so…"

"Oh, I see!"

"Yeah." Paige shrugged her shoulders. "It's kind of embarrassing to explain…"

Emily, without thinking what she was doing, grabbed Paige's hand. Paige's forearm twitched at the contact, but she managed to suppress it so that it didn't appear that she was flinching at Emily's touch. "Oh, no, not at all," Emily said. "I know how much of a pain relocating can be. Army brat," she explained. When she realized that she was holding Paige's hand, she squeezed it slightly, slightly embarrassed, and let go. "Spencer's great," she assured Paige, clearing her throat; still a bit embarrassed at how long she had held Paige's hand. "She'll get it sorted out in no time."

Paige just smiled. As Emily turned to go, Paige followed her with her eyes, quickly moving her gaze to Emily's eye level when she saw Emily turn at the door and look back. "I'll text you about Saturday," Emily said with a wave, which Paige returned. Once the door closed behind Emily and Princess, Paige let her head fall on the desk again, letting out a deep breath. She had dodged another bullet. It meant that she would actually have to contact Spencer, to take her up on her offer of help with her employment records, but that was a small price to pay. Besides, Paige knew that she really could use Spencer's help. It was only her pride that had kept her from taking Spencer up on the offer in the first place.

Paige smiled, rubbing the spot on her hand that Emily's hand had touched. It felt like high school, swooning over a touch from a pretty girl. It was barely 10:00; not even lunchtime. Paige still had a long day ahead of her. But, somehow, she wasn't dreading the workday as much as she usually did.

Emily started to put two and two together as she drove home. She knew that Spencer had gone out to The Radley with some of her old teammates field hockey the night before. And, obviously, Spencer had met someone, since she had disappeared from the group's Instagram posts long before the night was through. "Oh well," Emily sighed to herself, admittedly a little disappointed over the fact that, apparently, Paige didn't need her help as much as she'd thought. From the looks of it, Paige had Spencer to lean on. But, still, Emily reminded herself, Wayne needed a friend. That was the point pf the playdates, after all. Emily chuckled at the thought that she might end up having Wayne over for playdates more often. Paige might need a babysitter for him, if she and Spencer wound up hitting it off.


	6. Breaking Up's Not Hard to Do

"Mommy, Wayne and I aren't friends anymore."

Emily's jaw dropped at Anna's response to the good news that she had been looking forward to telling her all day: Paige had agreed that she and Wayne could have a playdate. Anna, on the other hand, was surprisingly devoid of emotion at the news. To her, it seemed, it was just a statement of fact, with no emotional component. One day, they were friends, one day, they were not.

"What happened?"

Anna shrugged, more interested in the crayon drawing that she was working on than examining the end of their friendship. "Nothing," she said simply.

Emily put her hand on Anna's shoulder, to get her attention. Anna recognized the cue, her mother's subtle but firm cue that she wanted her full attention. She dutifully set her crayons aside and looked Emily in the eyes.

"Honey, I don't understand. You two were best friends yesterday. And, this morning, you were excited about having a playdate on Saturday.

Anna nodded. Emily waited for something more, but, apparently, that was all that Anna had to say. Emily did her best to keep a calming tone. "So… what happened?"

"Wayne plays with his new friends, now," Anna said flatly. "So, I started playing with my old friends."

Emily, as shocked as she was, couldn't help laughing on the inside. If only adults could take break-ups that calmly and dispassionately. If only they never lost that childish resiliency when it came time to move on.

"Well, I kind of told Ms. Paige that you guys could have a playdate on Saturday."

"I know, Mommy." Anna wanted to make the point that had been paying attention to her mother's news.

"So, are you still on-board for a playdate with him?"

Anna's eyes lit up. "Can Mariko come?"

Emily sighed. "Maybe some other time," she offered. Anna crossed her arms and pouted, showing some emotion for the first time in the conversation.

Emily gently ran her fingers through her daughter's hair. Her voice almost became a whisper, as she tried to convey her sincerity. "Anna, this is about making Wayne feel less alone in a new town. I'm just afraid that, if you invite Mariko, the two of you will spend all your time playing together, and Wayne will feel left out."

"But, Mommy," Anna insisted, "Wayne  _isn't_  alone. He plays with new friends, now." Anna sounded impatient as she repeated that fact.

"Anna," Emily said wearily, "I kind of need you to do this for me."

Anna shrugged again, this time with a slight nod of her head. She knew what it meant when her mother said. "I need you to do this for me." And she was proud to be her mother's helper, even if it involved doing something that she didn't feel like doing. "Okay, Mommy," she sighed pleasantly.

Emily gave her daughter's chin a squeeze. "That's my little Munchkin!"

As eager as Emily had been to make those arrangements with Anna, what she had really been looking forward to was getting in touch with Spencer and finding out how her date with Paige had gone. But Spencer had been in hearings all day, and the last thing that she needed was a call or a text about personal business. By the time Emily was certain that Spencer was out of the hearing, Anna was home. Emily had to wait until Anna was situated and entertaining herself, so that she could chat with Spencer uninterrupted. When Anna asked to be excused to play in her room, Emily reached for her phone and sent Spencer a text.

"So, how did it go Friday night? Meet anyone?"

Spencer's reply was a while in coming. "Oh, yeah. Good. Fun to hang out with the girls – although, you know the rule about Hanna and gay bars."

Emily responded with a smiley and then cut to the chase. "Meet anybody interesting?" she asked, with a wink. She didn't know why Spencer was being so coy, but she really wanted to get her opinion on Paige. Part of her hoped that they had really hit it off. Paige obviously needed to get laid. Maybe that would help her lighten up. Emily scolded herself for even thinking that, given what she knew of Paige's situation.

"Actually made a friend. You know her – Paige McCullers."

"Just a friend?" Another winky face. Emily knew that she was being full-on, but she was only doing it because Spencer was being so evasive. Which wasn't like Spencer. Emily wasn't sure why she was acting like that, but Emily could tell from the way that Paige had acted at the therapist's office that there was more to their story.

Emily hated the fact that they were having this conversation over text. She wanted to be able to scan Spencer's face for any tiny glint in the eye or hint of a smile, to betray the secret that she was trying to keep. She wanted to be able to hear Spencer's voice, listening for the subtlest of cracks or the slightest hesitation when she said Paige's name. Not that Spencer, her poker-face well-honed by years of high-stakes negotiations, would ever give much away. Despite that, though, Emily knew her too well; knew all her tells.

But most of all, Emily wanted Spencer's full attention. It was driving Emily crazy to have to wait for Spencer to text her back. Emily could just see Spencer in her office, late into the evening, silently cursing her assistant for leaving everything in such a mess, obsessively sorting all of her the phone memos he left, and probably holding switching back and forth among two or other text conversations - which were business related - as she read and responded to Emily's texts.

Even so, texting Spencer was better than waiting for Spencer to leave the office, much later that evening. Emily was sure that she would have died without getting some kind of hints about Paige was like on a date.

Spencer dashed Emily's hopes on that front with her two-word reply. "Yeah, friend." She wasn't sure what Emily meant by the winky face. Emily knew that she wasn't the type to play any kind of coy games. The lawyer in her worried that Emily was probing for information about the legal help that she had offered to do for Paige, and she was much to professional to violate attorney-client privilege, even if there was no official attorney-client arrangement between Paige and her.

"Well, are you sure that's how Paige feels?" Emily texted back.

Spencer practically laughed out loud when she read Emily's text. She responded to it with an LOL emoji. Her full response came, agonizingly, over a series of texts, over the space of about 10 minutes. Each text ended with an ellipsis, to let Emily know that there was more to come as soon as Spencer had another opportunity to type:

"Trust me, we were both in agreement on that front…"  
"We're old enough to know ourselves…."  
"She's hot, she's funny, she's a great friend…"  
"But we're too much alike for anything more than friendship…."  
"We'd drive each other crazy. Trust me."

"Oh." Emily didn't know whether she was more deflated or surprised. Surprised, probably, both that nothing had come of their encounter, and that Paige was, apparently "funny" and "a great friend."

"Well, bummer," Emily added, after Spencer took too long to reply to her "Oh" message. "I thought maybe you might be in for some much-needed romance."

Emily was teasing her about the much-needed part. She was, after all, in the same boat as Spencer; single by circumstance, not by choice. For Spencer's part, it would have been the perfect opportunity to suggest that Emily and Paige might hit it off (and Spencer was 89.7% sure – a huge number on the Hastings scale – that they would). But Paige had asked Spencer not to say anything, and Spencer, of course, respected her wishes. And she had had enough training in dealing with privileged information and with confidential matters to know better than to drop subtle hints or try to find some way to trick them into getting together. It would have to come from them. One of them would have to wise up.

* * *

Wayne was animated as Paige strapped him into his car seat for the trip home from school, eager to tell her everything that had happened during the day. Paige appreciated the fact that her son wanted her to be involved in every area of his life. She knew that it wouldn't always be that way.

"Did you play with Anna today?" Paige asked as she settled into the driver's seat, expecting the usual burst of energy that came from her son when the subject was Anna. This time, though, he was subdued.

"No," he said without emotion. "I played with Carl and Dennison and Macauley today."

"Oh," Paige replied, a little stunned. "Well, guess what: Anna's mommy has invited you on a playdate with Anna in the park on Saturday!"

"Okay," Wayne replied, with no emotion.

"I thought you'd be more excited than that!" Paige took a peek in the rearview mirror. Wayne shrugged. "Wayne?"

"I don't play with Anna anymore. I play with my friend Carl and my friend Dennison. And, today, we played with Macauley."

"Well, Anna's your friend, isn't she?"

Wayne shrugged again, with a bored sigh. "I guess."

Paige, exasperated, also sighed. "Well, Champ, I kind of told her mom that you would go to the park with Anna."

"Okay," Wayne replied, still with no emotion.

Paige looked back at him in the mirror again. "Will you at least try to have fun?"

"Uh huh," Wayne said, his voice rising a bit as he said it.

"Did something happen between the two of you?"

"No," Wayne said, with no elaboration.

"Did she say something? Did you guys have a fight?"

"Uh uh."

"Wayne!" Paige was trying not to get impatient, but her voice was making it obvious that she was frustrated.

"Yes, Mommy?"

Paige, hearing a hint of fear in Wayne's reply, tried to dial it back. "I'm just confused, Sport, about why you two stopped playing together. I mean, you used to be bouncing off the walls, telling me how much fun you had playing with Anna."

"I play with my friend Carl and my friend Dennison, now," Wayne repeated, not really understanding why what he was saying was so hard for his mother to understand.

Paige shrugged her shoulders. "All right," she said, the words coming out in a high-pitched, defeated tone.

"Mommy?" Wayne said, a couple of minutes later.

Paige took a look at him in the mirror. "Yeah, Sport?"

"I'll have fun with Anna," he said, as if trying to console her.

Paige laughed out loud, running her fingers through her hair. "I know you will, Wayne." She added, "I'm sorry. I didn't want to make things weird."

Paige decided to let it drop. It wasn't anything sinister or clandestine. Things changed. He played with Carl and Dennison.

"Mommy, Wayne and I aren't friends anymore."

Emily's jaw dropped at Anna's response to the good news that she had been looking forward to telling her all day: Paige had agreed that she and Wayne could have a playdate. Anna, on the other hand, was surprisingly devoid of emotion at the news. To her, it seemed, it was just a statement of fact, with no emotional component. One day, they were friends, one day, they were not.

"What happened?"

Anna shrugged, more interested in the crayon drawing that she was working on than examining the end of their friendship. "Nothing," she said simply.

Emily put her hand on Anna's shoulder, to get her attention. Anna recognized the cue, her mother's subtle but firm cue that she wanted her full attention. She dutifully set her crayons aside and looked Emily in the eyes.

"Honey, I don't understand. You two were best friends yesterday. And, this morning, you were excited about having a playdate on Saturday.

Anna nodded. Emily waited for something more, but, apparently, that was all that Anna had to say. Emily did her best to keep a calming tone. "So… what happened?"

"Wayne plays with his new friends, now," Anna said flatly. "So, I started playing with my old friends."

Emily, as shocked as she was, couldn't help laughing on the inside. If only adults could take break-ups that calmly and dispassionately. If only they never lost that childish resiliency when it came time to move on.

"Well, I kind of told Ms. Paige that you guys could have a playdate on Saturday."

"I know, Mommy." Anna wanted to make the point that had been paying attention to her mother's news.

"So, are you still on-board for a playdate with him?"

Anna's eyes lit up. "Can Mariko come?"

Emily sighed. "Maybe some other time," she offered. Anna crossed her arms and pouted, showing some emotion for the first time in the conversation.

Emily gently ran her fingers through her daughter's hair. Her voice almost became a whisper, as she tried to convey her sincerity. "Anna, this is about making Wayne feel less alone in a new town. I'm just afraid that, if you invite Mariko, the two of you will spend all your time playing together, and Wayne will feel left out."

"But, Mommy," Anna insisted, "Wayne  _isn't_  alone. He plays with new friends, now." Anna sounded impatient as she repeated that fact.

"Anna," Emily said wearily, "I kind of need you to do this for me."

Anna shrugged again, this time with a slight nod of her head. She knew what it meant when her mother said. "I need you to do this for me." And she was proud to be her mother's helper, even if it involved doing something that she didn't feel like doing. "Okay, Mommy," she sighed pleasantly.

Emily gave her daughter's chin a squeeze. "That's my little Munchkin!"

As eager as Emily had been to make those arrangements with Anna, what she had really been looking forward to was getting in touch with Spencer and finding out how her date with Paige had gone. But Spencer had been in hearings all day, and the last thing that she needed was a call or a text about personal business. By the time Emily was certain that Spencer was out of the hearing, Anna was home. Emily had to wait until Anna was situated and entertaining herself, so that she could chat with Spencer uninterrupted. When Anna asked to be excused to play in her room, Emily reached for her phone and sent Spencer a text.

"So, how did it go Friday night? Meet anyone?"

Spencer's reply was a while in coming. "Oh, yeah. Good. Fun to hang out with the girls – although, you know the rule about Hanna and gay bars."

Emily responded with a smiley and then cut to the chase. "Meet anybody interesting?" she asked, with a wink. She didn't know why Spencer was being so coy, but she really wanted to get her opinion on Paige. Part of her hoped that they had really hit it off. Paige obviously needed to get laid. Maybe that would help her lighten up. Emily scolded herself for even thinking that, given what she knew of Paige's situation.

"Actually made a friend. You know her – Paige McCullers."

"Just a friend?" Another winky face. Emily knew that she was being full-on, but she was only doing it because Spencer was being so evasive. Which wasn't like Spencer. Emily wasn't sure why she was acting like that, but Emily could tell from the way that Paige had acted at the therapist's office that there was more to their story.

Emily hated the fact that they were having this conversation over text. She wanted to be able to scan Spencer's face for any tiny glint in the eye or hint of a smile, to betray the secret that she was trying to keep. She wanted to be able to hear Spencer's voice, listening for the subtlest of cracks or the slightest hesitation when she said Paige's name. Not that Spencer, her poker-face well-honed by years of high-stakes negotiations, would ever give much away. Despite that, though, Emily knew her too well; knew all her tells.

But most of all, Emily wanted Spencer's full attention. It was driving Emily crazy to have to wait for Spencer to text her back. Emily could just see Spencer in her office, late into the evening, silently cursing her assistant for leaving everything in such a mess, obsessively sorting all of her the phone memos he left, and probably holding switching back and forth among two or other text conversations - which were business related - as she read and responded to Emily's texts.

Even so, texting Spencer was better than waiting for Spencer to leave the office, much later that evening. Emily was sure that she would have died without getting some kind of hints about Paige was like on a date.

Spencer dashed Emily's hopes on that front with her two-word reply. "Yeah, friend." She wasn't sure what Emily meant by the winky face. Emily knew that she wasn't the type to play any kind of coy games. The lawyer in her worried that Emily was probing for information about the legal help that she had offered to do for Paige, and she was much to professional to violate attorney-client privilege, even if there was no official attorney-client arrangement between Paige and her.

"Well, are you sure that's how Paige feels?" Emily texted back.

Spencer practically laughed out loud when she read Emily's text. She responded to it with an LOL emoji. Her full response came, agonizingly, over a series of texts, over the space of about 10 minutes. Each text ended with an ellipsis, to let Emily know that there was more to come as soon as Spencer had another opportunity to type:

"Trust me, we were both in agreement on that front…"  
"We're old enough to know ourselves…."  
"She's hot, she's funny, she's a great friend…"  
"But we're too much alike for anything more than friendship…."  
"We'd drive each other crazy. Trust me."

"Oh." Emily didn't know whether she was more deflated or surprised. Surprised, probably, both that nothing had come of their encounter, and that Paige was, apparently "funny" and "a great friend."

"Well, bummer," Emily added, after Spencer took too long to reply to her "Oh" message. "I thought maybe you might be in for some much-needed romance."

Emily was teasing her about the much-needed part. She was, after all, in the same boat as Spencer; single by circumstance, not by choice. For Spencer's part, it would have been the perfect opportunity to suggest that Emily and Paige might hit it off (and Spencer was 89.7% sure – a huge number on the Hastings scale – that they would). But Paige had asked Spencer not to say anything, and Spencer, of course, respected her wishes. And she had had enough training in dealing with privileged information and with confidential matters to know better than to drop subtle hints or try to find some way to trick them into getting together. It would have to come from them. One of them would have to wise up.

* * *

Wayne was animated as Paige strapped him into his car seat for the trip home from school, eager to tell her everything that had happened during the day. Paige appreciated the fact that her son wanted her to be involved in every area of his life. She knew that it wouldn't always be that way.

"Did you play with Anna today?" Paige asked as she settled into the driver's seat, expecting the usual burst of energy that came from her son when the subject was Anna. This time, though, he was subdued.

"No," he said without emotion. "I played with Carl and Dennison and Macauley today."

"Oh," Paige replied, a little stunned. "Well, guess what: Anna's mommy has invited you on a playdate with Anna in the park on Saturday!"

"Okay," Wayne replied, with no emotion.

"I thought you'd be more excited than that!" Paige took a peek in the rearview mirror. Wayne shrugged. "Wayne?"

"I don't play with Anna anymore. I play with my friend Carl and my friend Dennison. And, today, we played with Macauley."

"Well, Anna's your friend, isn't she?"

Wayne shrugged again, with a bored sigh. "I guess."

Paige, exasperated, also sighed. "Well, Champ, I kind of told her mom that you would go to the park with Anna."

"Okay," Wayne replied, still with no emotion.

Paige looked back at him in the mirror again. "Will you at least try to have fun?"

"Uh huh," Wayne said, his voice rising a bit as he said it.

"Did something happen between the two of you?"

"No," Wayne said, with no elaboration.

"Did she say something? Did you guys have a fight?"

"Uh uh."

"Wayne!" Paige was trying not to get impatient, but her voice was making it obvious that she was frustrated.

"Yes, Mommy?"

Paige, hearing a hint of fear in Wayne's reply, tried to dial it back. "I'm just confused, Sport, about why you two stopped playing together. I mean, you used to be bouncing off the walls, telling me how much fun you had playing with Anna."

"I play with my friend Carl and my friend Dennison, now," Wayne repeated, not really understanding why what he was saying was so hard for his mother to understand.

Paige shrugged her shoulders. "All right," she said, the words coming out in a high-pitched, defeated tone.

"Mommy?" Wayne said, a couple of minutes later.

Paige took a look at him in the mirror. "Yeah, Sport?"

"I'll have fun with Anna," he said, as if trying to console her.

Paige laughed out loud, running her fingers through her hair. "I know you will, Wayne." She added, "I'm sorry. I didn't want to make things weird."

Paige decided to let it drop. It wasn't anything sinister or clandestine. Things changed. He played with Carl and Dennison.


	7. Saturday in the Park

Anna was hanging from one of the climbing nets in the playground when Paige showed up with Wayne. Anna hung upside down by her arms for a moment, watching them approach, before dropping to the ground, her arms folded in front of her. Wayne let go of his mother's hand and put some distance between himself and her. The two of them slowly inched towards each other, stopping a few feet away, as if some invisible barrier were keeping them apart. As Emily and Paige looked on from their bench, Anna moved closer, giving Wayne a hug. Wayne shoved her away with both hands and Anna, laughing, shoved him back and ran away. Soon, they were both laughing and screaming as they chased each other all over the playground, up and down all of the equipment.

"I don't even remember having that much energy," Paige mused, leaning with one elbow on the back of the bench. Her eyes were on the kids, not Emily. "I mean," she added with a sly tone, turning slightly, to look Emily in the eye, "I remember chasing boys like that, but for entirely different reasons."

Emily laughed politely. "I'm just glad they're having fun," she said. "When I told Anna that we were going to get together, she told me they weren't friends anymore."

"Yeah, right? Wayne told me the same thing." Paige shrugged her shoulders. "Kids, right?"

Paige turned again, putting her focus on the children again. An ungodly silence descended on the two of them. Emily didn't know what to do, so she followed the children with her eyes, too.  _It's a playdate for the kids,_  she told herself.  _No one said anything about the parents getting along._

Emily used the lull in the conversation to analyze Paige's comment about chasing boys. She wondered what that was about. Perhaps Wayne had told her what he said to Anna about why Paige and her husband split up, and Paige was trying to make it seem like a childish misunderstanding. Or, perhaps, Paige was probing; trying to figure out Emily's orientation, or trying to find out what Spencer may have said to Emily about Paige's sexuality.

Whatever it was, Emily let it drop. She definitely wanted to talk to Paige about what Wayne had said, but she didn't want to sneak it into the conversation like that. She remembered her father's advice: She needed to concentrate on being Paige's friend first. Still, it would have been nice for them to have  _something_  – _anything_ to talk about, even the situation with her marriage.

Instinctively, Emily reached for her purse, but stopped herself before she pulled out her phone. Her phone was her usual prop when she needed something to do in an uncomfortable situation. But she didn't want to come off as rude.

"So, how are you finding Rosewood," she asked, trying to get things started.

"Good," Paige said, nodding her head amiably. "It's an adjustment, of course. Especially for Wayne." Emily smiled knowingly. There was a brief pause, but Paige didn't let it go on too long. "I used to come here when I was about his age," she noted, "visiting my Aunt Miriam." She looked at Emily, who was nodding. "I haven't been back in years. God – things have changed. I mean, a lot of it is familiar, but so much of it has changed."

"Yeah, there's definitely been a lot of change. I mean, even since the time I graduate high school, it's changed a lot."

"Have you lived here all your life?"

Emily nodded. "I went away for college. Pepperdine, out in Southern Cal. Then, I kind of lost my way for a while, so I came back here, to get… grounded, I don't know." Emily wasn't sure how much she wanted to tell Paige about her sordid past. She did feel a little guilty, though, knowing Paige's secret, when Paige knew nothing about the skeletons in her closet.

"No kidding?" Paige said, not following up on Emily's comment about losing herself. "I went to school out in California, too. Stanford, class of '07."

"Oh, so we were out there at about the same time. I was class of '07, too. Originally. I ended up taking some time off to get my head together."

Paige nodded. "I know how that goes. And I can definitely relate to the need to get grounded. I mean, I guess that's sort of how I ended up moving out here, with my aunt."

Emily smiled politely and looked away, tapping her index finger against her thumb. "Look," she said, turning towards Paige, her tone of voice and the crease in her forehead hinting that the conversation about to get serious. "Wayne said something to Anna about why you moved out to Rosewood."

"Oh." Paige scoffed slightly, shaking her head. "Oh, I see." Emily's sudden change of heart towards Paige made sense, all of a sudden. Poor little Paige, who needed someone to rescue her and her son. "What exactly did Wayne say?" she asked, through gritted teeth.

"It was just something about what your husband told you, in strong language, about 'no son of mine.'" Emily looked at Paige, to confirm that she had given enough information to let her know exactly what she was talking about. Paige's face turned white. She was finding it hard to speak – much less come up with the words to say. Emily touched her shoulder, and Paige flinched. "I… I didn't mean to get him in any trouble. I just thought you should know. I mean, you might want to have a talk with him about the kinds of things he shouldn't be sharing." Emily was getting flustered by Paige's lack of response, either in words or in facial expression. She found herself just talking more, becoming more and more nervous, desperately trying to fill in the space with words. "I mean, in a small town like this, you know. People tend to judge and gossip, and…"

"But not people like you," Paige hissed, with an overtone of sarcasm.

"Paige," Emily said, looking down at her hands, "I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of that. Believe me, I would never…"

Paige put her hands up and shook her head. "Sorry – I'm sorry. I know you're just trying to help. It's just kind of a shock, you know, to know that my whole life is just… out there." Paige stood up and turned away from the bench, running her fingers through her hair. It was something that she often did when she was frustrated or deep in thought, but the gesture felt different, this time. She was still getting used to the shorter hair. Putting her hand up and letting it fall against her thigh, she said, "I'll… uh. I'll have a talk with him."

"Hey," Emily said, standing up with a nervous grin. Her reflex was to put her hand on Paige's shoulder, but the flinch from moments earlier was still fresh in her mind. "This doesn't have to make things weird between us, does it?"

When Paige turned to face her and caught sight of the pure innocence and the disarming smile on Emily's face, her resistance crumbled. "Of course not," she mumbled, dipping her head.

Emily eased back into her seat on the bench, gesturing towards Paige to do the same. Paige tucked her hands into the pockets of her jeans, her shoulders hunching upwards. "Actually, I think that Wayne and I should be getting back." She smiled weakly.

Emily mirrored the smile. It wasn't really late, and they hadn't spent that much time at the park, but she understood why Paige wanted to go. She decided that it would be best to give her some space.

Paige cocked her head in the direction of the spot where the kids were playing, indicating that she was going to go and get Wayne, which she trotted off to do. Paige watched her get down on a knee to tie his shoe for him before prodding him, with a nudge to the shoulder, to say good-by to Anna. He toddled over, lowering his head, and mumbled a quick good-bye before turning and trotting back to Paige. It struck Paige as funny; the two of them had just been playing together like the best of friends, and, all of a sudden, Wayne was all shy and tentative. It was remarkable, she thought, how much her son was like her. That was the same way things had played out with Emily. Paige blew out a puff of air, and Wayne looked up, surprised at the sound. "You want to go get some ice cream?" Paige asked, and he nodded eagerly.

When Wayne and Paige walked away, Anna looked over to Emily, to see whether or not she had to go home, too. Emily smiled, and Anna took it to mean that she could keep on playing, so she went over to the swings and started propelling herself.

Paige, holding Wayne's hand, walked back to the bench where she and Emily had been sitting earlier; where Emily was still seated, though alone, busying herself with her phone. She looked up as Paige stopped in front of her. Paige ran her fingers through her hair, adjusting for its newer, shorter length. "We're going to go get some ice cream," she announced, wriggling Wayne's hand. "Would you guys like to join us? My treat?"

Emily smiled, happy that Paige was making a gesture. She would have to check with Anna, but she was pretty sure what the response would be. Emily called her name and, she looked up, gestured her over. "Honey," Emily said as Anna worked her way into a spot between her legs, "Ms. Paige and Wayne have invited us to join them for ice cream. What do you think?" Anna, too excited to speak, simply nodded her head rapidly.

Conversation with Emily was easier at the ice cream shop. The kids were there, and that meant Paige could relax, with no worries that serious business like lesbian tendencies and homophobic exes would come up. They got to know a bit about each other's pasts, finding out that they weren't all that different. They were both only children, both swimmers, and they both kept in shape. Seeing Emily, though, Paige kind of felt the need to take her workouts up a notch, her competitiveness from high school and college getting the best of her.

A couple of times, Paige found herself staring at Emily; her mannerisms and her interactions with Anna – and with Wayne. Emily caught her once and shot her a friendly wink, thinking that Paige was simply pleased at the way that Emily got along with her son. That was part of it, but Paige was also thinking about what Spencer had said, and trying to figure out why she thought that Emily would be a good match. She was beginning to see why Spencer would think that she would be into Emily, but she didn't see what would make Emily go for someone like her. There had to be something to what Spencer said, though, she reasoned. From what she knew of Spencer, she wasn't the kind of person to make a statement like that without some rationale behind it.

* * *

"Well," Paige announced, surveying the ice cream all over Wayne's face and shirt, "I'd better get this guy home and into a shower."

"A shower?" Wayne cringed.

"Yes siree!" Paige said. "I might just throw you in with all your clothes on - or take you out to the backyard and hose you down."

"Yay!" Wayne squealed, looking over to Anna, to see whether she was jealous.

Anna had made a bit of a mess herself, but not on the same scale. She had a small mountain of napkins on the side of her bowl that she had been using to wipe her face and hands. Paige leaned across the table towards her and whispered, "Can you teach my kid that?" Anna looked at Emily, not sure how she should respond to that. Paige shot her a smile, to let her know that she was only kidding.

Anna and Wayne exchanged another good-bye. Paige and Emily said good-bye, too, with a hug and a promise of more playdates in their future.


	8. A Puzzle

If one good thing came out of that Saturday playdate, it was that it made things easier for Emily when she took Princess in to see Dr. Marx. Paige was civil; even cordial on occasion, and actually reached out to take Princess from Emily's arms, one time, when Emily was fumbling through her purse to find her credit card.

And it wasn't the last playdate for the kids. Eventually, Emily felt comfortable enough with her relationship with Paige to invite Wayne over to the house. Paige came along with him, although Emily offered to watch the kids by herself, to give her a night off. That first night was awkward. It reminded Emily of study-dates in college – and she wasn't that much into studying in college. She would sit there with her laptop and maybe a textbook, pretending to work when she really just wanted to hang out with her study mates and, perhaps, watch a movie or something. Similarly, with Paige, there was a forced and stilted feeling. They sort of retreated to their neutral corners in the living room, watching Anna and Wayne play, occasionally being called upon to participate in the games that they were playing.

The next time Paige came over with Wayne, Emily was prepared, with coffee and snacks – and some topics for conversation – to share. Emily hadn't expected Paige to stay the first time, so she hadn't prepared any grown-up activities or snacks. And, when she offered to make something, it was all too easy for Paige to decline, telling her not to go to any trouble. Her preparation paid off, and she and Paige fell into a comfortable conversation. It just seemed easier, somehow, to talk when coffee and cookies were involved.

At the end of the evening, Emily tried to make it clear that she was willing to watch the kids by herself, if Paige ever needed any time to herself – for a date, for running errands, or if she just needed a break. Paige thanked her but assured her that her aunt had babysitting covered. Emily persisted, suggesting that even Paige's aunt might enjoy a night off, and Paige said that she would keep that in mind. Both of them knew that the likelihood of Paige taking Emily up on her offer was rather low.

Paige eventually did give in and let Emily watch Wayne, but Emily was pretty sure that she only did it to avoid the appearance that she didn't trust Emily. Emily began to suspect that Paige's life was completely wrapped up in her son; that she felt lonely or even guilty when he wasn't around. It was understandable, given what the two of them had gone through together.

* * *

"Emily! What the hell's the matter with you?"

"Whoa, whoa whoa!" Emily hadn't heard that tone from Spencer since high school. She couldn't think of what she'd done to earn it. "You need to calm down if you want to continue this conversation, Spence!"

Spencer exhaled, frustrated. "You told Anna that she couldn't play at Paige's house because it's not safe?"

"What?"

Wayne had been bragging to Anna at school about all of the incredible toys he had at his aunt's house. "You should come over," he offered, excited. "It would be so cool!"

"My Mommy said I can't play at your house," Anna said matter-of-factly.

As young as he was, Wayne still knew when he was being insulted. "Why not?" he asked in a huff.

"My Mommy said it's not safe at your house!"

Paige, when she found out why Wayne was upset after school, was livid. This had basically confirmed everything that Paige thought about Emily – that she thought that she was better than her and her family, and that she was only befriending them as a charity case. It was okay for her kid to play at Emily's house, but not for Emily's kid to play at her house.

"Spencer… I  _never…_ I would  _never_..."

Spencer paused, to collect herself.

"Spencer!" Emily called urgently.

"Yeah," Spencer said, a little calmer. "I… it didn't sound like you. But, that doesn't matter. You need to fix it."

"I know, I know!" Emily was eager to get off the phone with Spencer and get on the phone with Paige – if Paige would even talk to her.

"It may not be your fault, but it's your problem!"

"Spencer, I know! Just let me… I need to get off the phone!"

Emily wasn't surprised that her call went to Paige's voice-mail. On the one hand, that was good news: It would give her the chance to tell her side of the story without interruption. But, on the other hand, she couldn't be sure that Paige would actually listen to her apology – rather than delete it immediately.

"Paige…," she began, with a sense of urgency, "I just spoke with Spencer, and I'm so terribly sorry for what Anna said. Believe me, I don't doubt for a second that Anna would be safe at your home. What I told her was that your aunt had a lot of expensive antiques, so it might not be the safest place for a kid to play…" Emily panicked when the word "safest" came out of her mouth. "Okay, hearing that, I can see why Anna would misunderstand what I meant, but, Paige, believe me, I never told her that she couldn't play at your aunt's house. I… just…I would never" Emily sighed. Maybe leaving a message wasn't such a great idea. "I'm sorry. Would you just call me back? Please?"

Emily got a text shortly after she finished leaving the message. It began with a smiley face. "Okay," Paige texted, "I can see how that could have happened." Paige, as a teacher, had been on both sides of miscommunications with children before. "Kids don't always get the story we're trying to tell them." Moments later, Paige sent a follow-up text: "& I hope Anna *will* come over to play with Wayne sometime…"

* * *

"Did you have fun playing with Anna today?"

Wayne nodded. "I like playing at her house better," he stated flatly.

"You do?" Paige hadn't expected that answer. She knew that Emily's house had more space, but she didn't think it made that much difference when Anna and Wayne were playing. "I thought you wanted to show her all your toys."

"I did," Wayne said, emotionlessly.

"But you'd rather play at her house?"

"Uh huh." Wayne nodded sleepily. "We get to play with Princess at Anna's house!"

Paige laughed and gave him a hug. "Yeah, Aunt Miriam's house wouldn't be the greatest place for a dog, would it?"

* * *

"Are you any good with these?" Emily asked, taking the tablecloth off of the long, dining room table and exposing the partially completed jigsaw puzzle underneath it. The borders of the puzzle were in place, stretching nearly the entire length of the table.

Paige's jaw dropped. "No, not really," she confessed deferentially. "I don't really have the patience!" Emily laughed – covering her mouth quickly when she realized that she had laughed too hard. It really wasn't a secret that Paige was lacking in patience.

The kids were playing independently just in the next room, where Paige and Emily could keep an eye on them. Emily had decided to mix things up a little; to make it a playdate for the moms, as well.

Paige circled the table slowly, looking at the scene – a European castle surrounded by greenery. It looked like a lost cause. But despite Paige's legendary impatience, especially with a seemingly futile endeavor like an 8,000-piece puzzle, leaving a task unfinished was an even bigger problem for her. She had a strong need for closure; for getting things done – and, if it had been her house, it would have driven her crazy to know that the puzzle was sitting, uncompleted, underneath the tablecloth, silently but relentlessly mocking her.

Emily, meanwhile, had opened one of the credenza drawers and pulled out the box that the puzzle had come in and several paper cups that were loaded with pieces which had been sorted by color. Paige grabbed a cup of grayish looking pieces and started circling the table again, her forehead creased in contemplation. Emily had a cup in her hand, too, but she wasn't nearly as focused. Not on the puzzle, at least. Her eyes kept wandering to Paige. There was something about her – the intense concentration, the way she licked her lips from time to time, and the way that she stretched out, one foot in the air, the other on tiptoes, reaching across the table to compare a piece in her hand with some others that were already in place. Emily realized that she was smiling as she observed and tried to stop, trying to look as focused as Paige was. When Paige pulled her sweater over he head, the movement pulling the t-shirt underneath it up above her navel, Emily realized how warm it was getting in the room.

"I'll… um. I'll just go get us some water, okay?" she stammered.

Paige, still one hundred percent concentration, nodded, without taking her eyes off of the puzzle.

Emily leaned back against the refrigerator door, with her forehead landing against it. She fanned herself with her hand. "What am I doing?" she challenged herself out loud.

She reached into the cabinet above the refrigerator for the grown-up glasses, getting up on her tiptoes. It reminded her of the sight that she had just seen in the other room, when Paige stretched across the table. It was only a second, but Emily caught a quick glimpse of a tiny patch of rough skin on Paige's abdomen, like a scar from an appendectomy. She had a sudden, intense urge to run her finger – or her tongue – along the scar, but she quickly chased those thoughts away. She filled the glasses from the ice-maker and then from the water dispenser. "Do you want a lemon?"

"Hmm?" Paige, who was so hung up on the puzzle that she had forgotten why Emily left, sounded annoyed, but Emily figured (correctly) that she was just distracted.

"Never mind!" SheEmily went ahead and put a lemon wedge in the glass and set the glass on a coaster on top of the credenza near where Paige was working. Paige looked behind her at the movement and, seeing the glass, remembered her manners. "Oh," she said, raising the glass. "Thanks. Thanks a lot!"

They continued circling the table, cups in hand, silent, and keeping a safe distance from each other.

* * *

"What did you say?"

"Hmm? What? ... Nothing..." Emily knew that she wasn't fooling Paige, but she didn't want to admit what she had said - or, rather, had sung.

"Something about my gray hair?"

Emily let out a deep sigh. "It was... nothing. Just a song from one of Anna's old nursery rhyme DVDs. It used to help her when she couldn't calm herself down, so I used to sing it to her, to help her to focus." Emily looked down at her cup full of puzzle pieces, lifting a few of them and dropping them back into the cup. "And, now, I guess... I guess it helps me focus, too."

"What is it?" Paige asked with an eager smile.

"It's  _nothing!_ It's stupid!" Emily insisted.

Paige tilted her head, her eyes pleading. "Please?" she asked sweetly.

Emily groaned and repeated the words she had just sung, swiftly and perfunctorily this time, just to get through them. "Tom Pierce, Tom Pierce, lend me thy grey mare."

Paige tried to hide her smile, because she knew how embarrassed Emily felt about the song and didn't want to embarrass her even more. She couldn't help it, though. Emily was just too damned cute. For the rest of the evening, Paige kept stealing glances at her, hoping to catch her singing the words again, even though she was pretty sure that Emily, now on her guard, wouldn't give an encore.

* * *

Paige had always been a responsible parent. Her obsession with finishing the puzzle didn't change that. At 8:15 almost on the dot, as if an internal alarm had gone off in her head, she tensed up briefly and looked at her phone. Emily instinctively knew what that meant.

"We made some good progress," she said, taking the cup from Paige's hand and giving her shoulder a little squeeze.

Paige took a moment to survey the table, surprised at how much the two of them had accomplished. "Yeah," she said, her excitement building. "Yeah, we really did!" Paige picked up the box and examined a section in the lower-left corner, comparing it to the version on the table.

Emily laughed lightly. "Do you want me to take a picture and send it to you, so you can study it at home?"

Paige's head whipped around towards Emily, surprised by the offer and eager to take her up on it. But the smile on Emily's face told her that she was only joking. "Oh, right," Paige said, shyly, dipping her head. "Sorry, I guess I kind of geek out on these things."

"I'd hate to see how you do at something you're good at!"

"Huh?"

Emily waved it off, realizing that Paige hadn't made the connection to what she had said earlier, about not being any good with puzzles. "Nothing, never mind." Paige looked as if she wanted to follow up on the question, so Emily switched gears. "We... uh... We make a good team, she said, patting Paige's shoulder.

"We definitely do," Paige said softly, flashing a radiant smile. "Thanks," she added after a pause, clumsily trying to match Emily's hand on her shoulder. She was nervous about the contact for some reason that she didn't fully understand, or wasn't fully able to admit. "Tonight was fun. It's nice to be able to do a different kind of thinking."

They both went silent for a moment when they realized how close they were to each other. Emily was the first to avert her gaze, clearing her throat. She noticed Paige's sweater, draped over a chair. "Oh," she said, reaching for it. "Here's your…"

"Oh, yeah." Paige grinned shyly. "Thanks."

Emily and Anna stood in the doorway watching as Paige helped Wayne get settled into his booster seat. He was old enough to do it himself, as he would have reminded her, had he not been so tired. Emily had her arm on Anna's shoulder, and the two of them waved at Paige and Wayne as Paige put the car into gear and drove away.

* * *

"What's so funny?"

Wayne waited for a response, but Paige, lost in thought, hadn't really registered that he had spoken to her.

"Mom!"

Paige, shaken back into the present, realized that she had missed something. Looking into the rearview mirror, she asked, "What was that, Sweetheart?"

"What's so funny?"

Paige didn't realize that she'd been smiling, but, once Wayne pointed it out, she didn't try to hide it. She winked at Wayne's reflection. "I guess I just had a fun time with Ms. Emily tonight," she replied, thinking to herself,  _and I guess I've got an excuse to go back._

Because, you know. She hated leaving puzzles unfinished.


	9. A Very Strong Woman

"If you don't mind my asking," Paige asked, as she slowly circled the table and scrutinized the puzzle, "what exactly do you do for a living?" Emily tightened her lips and sort of smiled. "I mean, don't get me wrong, It's just that I've never seen you... I mean, you know, I've never even heard you talk about what you do." When Emily stalled, Paige's head dipped. "I'm sorry," she said, knifing her hand in front of her to delete the question. "It's none of my business." She shrugged. "Just curious."

"Oh, no, Paige!" Emily touched Paige's forearm. It was just a friendly touch, but it made Paige feel warm all over, all of a sudden. "It... It's not that. It's just kind of a long story."

Paige put her cup of puzzle pieces down on the table and folded her arms comfortably. "I'm all ears."

Emily, likewise, put down her cup. She pulled out one of the chairs that was around the table. Paige followed her cue and pulled out another, and they sat angled towards each other.

"I kind of... went off the rails, when I was at college, you know?" Emily exhaled heavily. "It was a very difficult time for me. I mean, I always thought that swimming was something that I did just for fun. I never realized how much of...  _me_  - how much of who I am - was defined by the fact that I was a swimmer." Emily chuckled sadly. "Until I couldn't swim anymore."

Paige nodded, with a look of attentiveness and concern.

"I realized that I wasn't the kind of person who could just... sit in the stands and watch other people win. And, looking back on it, I can see, now, that I was full-on depressed about it. I started to drink, started to skip classes... And, eventually, I was...  _invited_  by the dean of student affairs to take some time off from the university." Emily looked down into her lap, fidgeting with her hands. Paige put her hand on Emily's shoulder. Emily smiled softly at her, embarrassed. She was surprised to see a look of compassion, not shock or judgment, on Paige's face.

"Anyway," Emily said, looking away again, "I was too ashamed to tell my parents; too ashamed to tell my friends. So, I quietly moved out of my campus apartment, got a job tending bar, and started to fall further and further behind in my bills. That's when I took some really bad advice and... started selling my eggs." The expression on Emily's face was as if she'd confessed to a contract murder. Paige, her hand still on Emily's shoulder, didn't bat an eye.

"So, to make a long story short, my eggs ended up being stolen from the lab. It was a big scandal, and it made headlines in all the newspapers. And even though the papers didn't identify me by name, they gave enough information that people who knew me didn't have a hard time figuring that I was the one. I ended up going and confessing everything to my parents, to get in front of the news before it got to them by some other means." Emily looked at Paige. "They were lovely, by the way," she told her, with a smile.

Paige took her hand from Emily's shoulder and clasped hands in her lap.

"We ended up suing the lab," Emily sighed, weary of the story and the memories it stirred, "and I got a nice little settlement. It's not all that much, but, really, I don't need very much. I mean, I live in my parents' old house, which is paid off - I only have to pay the property taxes. And Anna and I live pretty frugally." Emily cleared her throat, adding, as an afterthought, "The lab actually paid for my IVF - my in-vitro fertilization." Emily shot Paige a quick glance, to check that she was making sense. "Oh, sorry," she said, with a penitent chuckle, when she caught Paige's slight eye-roll.

"Oh, sorry," Paige echoed, just as embarrassed as Emily. She had found it slightly condescending that Emily felt the need to spell out what IVF stood for, but she hadn't meant for Emily to see her roll her eyes. She understood that Emily had probably had to explain that to a lot of people when she told them about how Anna was born.

"Anyway." Emily smiled as she tried to get back on track. "So, they paid for it, as part of the settlement. Poetic justice, I guess." Emily laughed bitterly, almost like a scoff. Paige nodded her head, a little overwhelmed as she tried to wrap her mind around everything that had just been thrown at her.

"So, that's it." Emily was trying to remain upbeat. It had been a while since she'd had to tell the story, and rehashing it all left her a little uncomfortable. It wasn't the fact that she was telling it to Paige, but the fact that she was telling it at all.

She'd gotten used to thinking that everyone knew the story. She'd learned a long time ago that there was no use trying to hide it. Secrets tend to find their way out into the open, especially in a small town. And, besides, she wasn't ashamed of her past. What was done was done, and the important thing was that she had grown from it. "I do know," she added, "that I'm going to have to start being an adult and get a grown-up job someday, but, for now, I'm just enjoying being a stay-at-home mom." She quickly added, "And it's not as if I'm lazy - I mean, I keep busy..."

"Oh, yeah, of course you do!" Paige took Emily's hand without thinking, but she released it quickly, clearing her throat. "You're an amazing mom," she said softly. "I know how much work that entails."

Emily smiled shyly, the shyness making her turn slightly away from Paige. She could almost feel Paige's firm, soft hand, where it had briefly held hers. "Thanks," she whispered.

"What... um... What do you think you'd like to do, when you go back to work?"

"Oh, you know. Probably start a band and become a rock star. Or start a Mommies-only YouTube channel and go viral. Or... find a rich woman to marry, or... uh..." Emily looked sideways at Paige and winked. "You're not going to stop me?"

"Well, no, I wasn't going to... You were on a roll." Under her breath, and with a shy smile, she added "I'd definitely subscribe to your YouTube channel."

Emily touched her arm again. "Thanks..." She quickly pulled her hand away, before it got weird. "But, actually... Well, my degree is in criminal justice." Emily put her hands up, suddenly realizing she'd left out that part of the story. "When I moved back to Rosewood, I finished my degree at Hollis. I started taking classes before I got pregnant, and then, after Anna was born, I did the rest on-line."

Paige rolled her eyes sympathetically. "Wow. That must've been... challenging."

"Yeah, to say the least." Emily smiled, shaking her head at the memory. "But, yeah, so, I'll probably do something with the Rosewood PD. That's where my Mom worked, when she and my Dad lived in Rosewood."

Paige and Emily sat, not looking at each other or saying anything, until Emily stood abruptly. "Well, shall we get back to it?"

Paige smiled, standing up and pushing their chairs back up to the table again. She couldn't stop glancing at Emily over the course of the night, in sheer admiration. She had underestimated her. Emily was a strong woman; a determined woman; an overcomer.

* * *

Paige was trying to be polite and pay attention to whatever it was that Spencer had to say, but it was obvious that she had something on her mind. At the first lull in the conversation, Paige jumped in with both feet, talking at about 600 miles per hour.

"So, I get what you meant about Emily."

"Oh, Emily." Spencer suddenly understood the nervous energy Paige had been giving off all morning as they sipped at their coffees.

"She's a lot stronger than I gave her credit for."

Spencer chuckled knowingly. "I know, right?" Spencer smiled. "She's got that little girl lost look, and everybody wants to protect her. But she's a fighter - a survivor." Spencer scoffed lightly. "Well, she  _had_ to be. We all did." Paige gave her a questioning look. "We went through some serious shit, back in high school. I mean, I know there's a lot of drama in high school - it's a tough time for everybody, but this was..." Spencer shook her head, uncharacteristically at a loss for words.

"Wow... It sounds... serious." Paige leaned across the table, inviting Spencer to elaborate, but Spencer waved her off. That wasn't the important thing at the moment. They would have plenty of time to get into that.

"We used to think of Emily as the weakest link," Spencer explained. "but I think she came out of it stronger than any of the rest of us."

"Yeah," Paige said dreamily.

"So, what are you going to do about it?" Spencer said with a smirk, picking up on Paige's tone.

Paige took a deep breath and settled against the back of her chair. "I don't know." She took a sip of her coffee as she thought it over. "Has she said anything to you about me?"

Spencer rolled her eyes. "Look, we may have been talking about high school, but that doesn't mean I want to go back there." Paige looked confused. "'I think I like her,'" Spencer said mockingly, "'Do you think she likes me? Should I pass her a note in English class?'" Spencer threw her hands up in frustration. "Just ask her, for fuck's sake!"

Paige sucked air through her teeth. "Ooh... Yeah. I don't know about that. I mean, I'm new to all this. You don't just pick up a tennis racket and decided to go head-to-head against Serena Williams!"

Spencer scoffed. "Really? Making a move on Emily is like going up against Serena Williams, but you didn't have any problem coming up to me at the bar?" Paige's mouth dropped, but Spencer shot her a smile, letting her know that she was teasing.

"That was different," Paige explained patiently. "I mean, we were in a bar, where people go to meet people. If it worked out, it worked out, and if not, there was nothing to lose. People get shot down by randoms in the bar all the time. But Emily and I are  _friends_. I'd hate to blow that just on the off chance that she might be interested in me as more than a friend."

"Oh, that's such a load of shit!" Spencer was scowling. "I never get why people say, 'Oh, we're such good friends, I would hate to lose that!' I mean, if you're such good friends, then the fact that one likes the other isn't going to ruin it. If anything, it should be safer to share your true feelings with a good friend than with a casual acquaintance!"

Paige sighed, brushing her hair away from her cheek. "I hear what you're saying, but..." Paige's hands dropped onto the table. "I don't know. It would just make everything weird and awkward and..." Paige groaned. "I'd just like to have the odds a little more in my favor before I took that kind of shot." Paige leaned across the table, clasping her hands in front of her. "Can't you give me anything? Some kind of hint?"

"Sorry," Spencer said flatly. "I don't play those games. I've told you the kind of women Emily likes, and I've told you that I think you two would be good together, but I'm not going to betray someone else's confidence."

Paige rolled her eyes, playfully scoffing. "Damned lawyers," she said, only half joking. "Damned lawyers and their damned integrity!"


	10. Paige's Journey

"So, tell me about your journey."

"My... journey?"

"How you came into yourself; how you came to realize that you were attracted to women, and what made you choose Rosewood."

Spencer was caressing her cappuccino cup in her hands the way a dog paws an oversized bone that she'd put up a fight before letting go of.

Paige liked these coffee breaks with Spencer. They began stopping off at The Brew after the occasional meetings that they had to discuss the progress on getting Paige's records transferred. After that, when Paige and Spencer started hitting the gym together, going for coffee afterwards seemed like a given. Paige was glad to have some one-on-one time with Spencer. She demurred whenever Spencer invited her to come out with the rest of the girls – meaning Emily and the clan from high school. Paige had never been of that mindset; the "herd" mentality, with girlfriends who traveled together like cattle. She really liked having that one friend to drink coffee and to dish with. And she and Spencer had quietly become really good friends. On this particular morning, after a lot of frustration and running around, trying to track down yet another set of records that the Philadelphia School District decided it needed, coffee was just the thing.

Paige took a deep breath, enjoying the delightful smell of coffee beans that filled her nostrils as she did. "My journey…" she said pensively. "Well, I don't know. It's… kind of... You know. I grew up in a small town in Nebraska – the kind where that flag on the mailbox that lets you know you had mail wasn't just there for decoration, you know what I mean? The mailbox was so far from the house that you wanted to be pretty sure there was something in it before you committed to taking that long walk." Paige chuckled, and Spencer did, too. "And, so, I really didn't have any exposure to other options, when it came to sexuality. I know it's hard to believe, in this day and age, when it's all over TV and movies and the internet, but… It was kind of like watching porn, you know? Even if you play along with the premise and accept the plot that, you know, all the nurses on the floor are going to get together and bang the patient with a huge…  _whatever_  while he's in traction." Paige took a contemplative pause. "Well, you can play along with it while you're watching, but it has no relevance to your everyday life. So, it wasn't that I was suppressing my sexuality; I just had no idea that I was actually having any of those kind of… mythical, unicorn-ish feelings." Paige looked at Spencer quizzically. "If that even makes sense…" Spencer nodded.

"So, anyway," Paige continued, "I went to college, and I got exposed to different lifestyles. I even had a couple of roommates who were… well, more than just roommates. And that was fine, that was cool, but, again, nothing to do with me. It was only when, one time, Trevor and I were in bed together and... Well, you know, not to get too graphic, but we were going at it pretty hard, and I realized that, in my head" – Paige gestured with her hands at the side of her face, moving them forward in a simultaneous chopping action, as if illustrating the thoughts jumping out of her head – "I was seeing Molly."

Paige paused, a little worn out by the emotional weight of what she was discussing for the first time with another human being. It was helpful to process those thoughts, but it wasn't easy.

"And, Molly was?"

Paige smiled, exhaling a laugh through her nostrils. "Molly was this girl I knew in high school. Paige's tilted her head back, wistfully, at the memory. "She used to look at me with the sweetest smile, and look away quickly, whenever I noticed. I always thought that she was just really shy, but she wanted to be my friend. It wasn't until years later that I recognized the way that she used to look at me. And I recognized that fluttery feeling" – Paige circled the area in front of her stomach as she described the feeling – "that I got in my gut whenever she looked at me that way."

"So, did you guys become friends?"

Paige tightened her lips. "Sort of. I mean, we said hi to each other in the hallways, and stuff like that, but…" Paige shook her head slowly. Spencer looked concerned, wondering what Paige had done.

"Paige?" Spencer wanted to make sure that Paige was okay.

Paige took a deep breath and pressed on. "One day, she just disappeared. People started saying that her parents transferred her to Catholic school." Paige scoffed. "And, then the rumors started about 'inappropriate behavior'" – Paige made the air quotes – "in the locker room, angry parent meetings, all kinds of shit." Paige tapped her finger against her coffee cup. "Years later, when I started to learn a little more about the world, I started to wonder whether her parents sent her to some kind of Conversion Camp, or something."

Spencer reached for Paige's wrist. Paige didn't usually like physical contact between friends, but it felt comforting. She trusted Spencer.

"So, yeah." Paige took a sip from her cup. "I didn't know what to do; I didn't know whether I should say something; I wasn't even sure that it meant anything. But then, things just started to make sense in my mind, you know? Things from my past, feelings that I thought were admiration or appreciation or 'girl-crushes' or whatever. And, I started to do some research on-line, and, you know. Good old Google. It remembers your past searches. My husband saw some story on the news about men having strokes and heart attacks and got online to do some research. But when he started typing, 'Am I at risk for a stroke,' Google 'remembered' my search for 'Am I lesbian or bisexual,' and the fireworks started. I thought it was good, at first. I thought that we could have a rational discussion about what I was feeling, and that, maybe, it would give me – and  _us_  – some clarity. So, I told him: It wasn't about him, I wasn't dissatisfied, I loved him, and I wasn't looking for anybody else. I was just trying to make sense of some feelings from my past."

Spencer nodded. "I take it that didn't go over well."

Paige scoffed at the understatement. "If there's one thing worse than a homophobe, it's a homophobe who's out to prove that you don't need a woman; that he's man-enough to drive those lesbian thoughts right out of your mind. And, all of a sudden, our lovemaking went from being this beautiful, shared experience to him trying to pound the gay away. There was no 'love' about it. And, so, of course, that started to drive a wedge between us…"

"Of course!"

"And I don't even think it was about me liking girls as much as it was that he couldn't stand losing, you know? Like, if he couldn't 'change me back,' he was just going to..."

"Take his balls and go home?"

Paige chuckled bitterly. "Exactly." She muttered under her breath, "If he had any." She took a sip of her coffee, hoping it would help her to calm down. It didn't. The more she thought about things, the more wildly her arms were flailing as she talked about them. "The thing that I don't get is that he was never jealous of men, even though he knew I was attracted to men, but, as soon as he saw that line in my search history, he became convinced that I'm going to dump him for the next random vagina that crosses my path!" Paige cleared her throat and took a glance around. She'd kind of forgotten herself, and the fact that they were holding the conversation in a very public place. "Anyway," she said, shifting in her seat. "So, yeah. That's my journey." Perking up in a mockingly enthusiastic way, with an over-the-top smile, clasping her hands beneath her chin, she asked, "So, now, how about  _your_  journey?"

Spencer laughed, to break the tension, and she started talking, realizing how much Paige wanted to move on from the self-exposing revelations she'd just shared. "Well, I grew up in a small town, too," she said, stretching her arms out at her side, indicating Rosewood. "But, you know, all that stuff was thrust out into the open once Emily got outed. So, I never really had to doubt whether what I felt was viable – whether 'real' people had thoughts like that." Spencer shrugged, taking another sip of her cappuccino.

"But you never dated any women in high school?"

"I didn't," Spencer confirmed. "But it wasn't as if I made a decision not to. I can just as easily fall in love with a guy as with a girl. It just happened, in high school, that the people I clicked with were guys. And I wasn't exactly bursting at the seams to let people know that I liked girls too, given how people tend to turn up their noses at bisexuality." Spencer leaned over the table, with a sly grin. "Besides, Emily pretty much had a monopoly on all the available women in town!"

Spencer was obviously joking; still, Paige's head snapped back in surprise. Spencer quickly backtracked. She knew that Paige had feelings for Emily, even though Paige wasn't ready to admit them – not to Spencer, or Emily, or even herself. "Not that Emily was promiscuous, or anything. It was high school, you know? We all went through our succession of paramours. I think it had something to do with that teenage need to find who we truly are, or to convince ourselves that we're worthy of affection." Spencer tilted her head, lobbing the ball back into Paige's court. "Did you date a lot in high school?"

Paige looked up at the ceiling to think over her reply. "I went out on a lot of dates in high school," she said, "but I didn't date a lot, in the sense of 'relationships'." Paige broke out the air quotes again. "The pickings in high school were really… pretty slim."

"Except for Molly," Spencer said with a laugh, squeezing Paige's hand.

"Except for Molly," Paige smiled, appreciating the break in the tension. Shaking her head, she asked, "How is this not weird?"

"How is what not weird?"

"Us. You and me. I mean, we both find each other attractive, and yet, we can be friends like this, without trying to make it into something more."

Spencer clutched her heart, widening her eyes. "You mean it's possible for a woman to be friends with someone attractive, without wanting to sleep with her?"

Paige smiled, rolling her eyes at the sarcasm. "Yeah, who would've thought?"

Spencer shrugged one shoulder. "I guess it's like what we were saying before, you know? We're not in high school. We can relate to people on a deeper level, without having to prove to ourselves that we could be in a relationship with them."

"Well, whatever it is," – Paige uncharacteristically put her hand on top of Spencer's and gave it a squeeze – "I'm glad that we're friends. You've helped me out in so many ways since I moved here. And I'm not just talking about my issue with the school district."

Spencer stood up, stepping over to the side of the booth. "This is where we hug."

Paige stood up and extended her arms. "You never struck me as a hugger, Hastings."

"I'm not, McCullers," Spencer replied over Paige's shoulder.

It was a beautiful moment, but it was quickly over, as it wasn't really either woman's thing. Paige and Spencer quickly took their seats again, smiling the smiles of people who had gone through some shared, mortifying experience together and were bound by an unspoken code to keep the secret for life.

Paige cleared her throat, her hands and her attention on her coffee cup. "I still can't picture you and Emily dating."

"I'm not surprised," Spencer said nonchalantly, taking another sip from her cup. "It was… pretty weird."

"Weird how?" Paige leaned in, hunching her shoulders as if she were discussing classified information. "I need details!"

Part of it was that Paige really wanted to make sure that Spencer and Emily didn't still have feelings for each other. But, mainly, Paige wanted to be able to believe that Spencer was right when she said that she and Emily would make a good match.

Spencer sighed, pulling her right leg up into the booth and letting it rest flat against the seat. "There's really not much to tell, she said, turning her head upwards with a contemplative look. "She was single, I was single, we were both back in Rosewood." Spencer looked Paige in the eye as she continued. "I'd come out as bi to the girls, you know – telling them about some of the women I dated in college." Paige nodded, eager for Spencer to continue. "Anyway, so, somehow, we got the great idea – we're both single, what's better than dating your best friend, blah blah blah. So, we went out to dinner. And it was just…" Spencer cringed, shaking her fists at the side of her face at the memory. "Just… awkward and… bad. We couldn't find anything to talk about, because it was supposed to be a date, not two friends getting together, so there were all these long pauses and awkward laughs. But we got past that. Got past the meal, took a walk through town, holding hands – but, no big deal, we'd held hands before, as friends. Anyway, I walked her to her door, and I'm thinking, 'Do I kiss her? Will she be upset if I do? Will she be upset if I don't?'"

"So, what did you do?" Paige was getting impatient.

"Well, she put her hands on my shoulders, and I leaned in, and…" Spencer made the weirdest face Paige had ever seen. "It was just… not happening. I mean, I couldn't get past the fact that it was  _Emily_ , not… I don't know… anyone in the universe who's  _not Emily._  I guess it was the same for her." Spencer chuckled.

"Wow." Paige didn't know what to say. She didn't feel any closer to an answer about her chances with Emily than she'd been before.

"Anyway," Spencer continued dryly, "we made a pact that, if we're both single when we're in our 50s, we'll try again. Figured we'd get past the weirdness, by then." Spencer patted Paige's hand several times. "So, the clock's ticking. If you're planning to make a move, you'd better do it quickly!"

Bingo! That was just the opening Paige was looking for.

"You see, I still don't get why you think Emily and I would hit it off."

Spencer sighed impatiently. "You're the kind of woman she goes for. Intelligent, self-confident to the point of cockiness, but really cares about other people."

Paige chuckled. "You really know me well."

"Actually, I'm just describing myself – we're so much alike!"

Paige grinned. She picked up a coaster from the table and started twiddling it, like a fidget spinner. "Actually, Emily's seen the other side of me."

"What side?"

"You know.  _That_  side. The douchebag side. The asshole side. The side you don't show people until you're already in a relationship, when you're at the point where you can pass gas in front of them and not try to hide it."

"What do you mean douchebag?"

"She hasn't told you?" Spencer shook her head. "Well, the first time we met, our kids had gotten into a scuffle at school, so I was on the defensive. And the second time, I was at work, so I was already in a bad mood, and I was defensive, because I thought she was looking down on me for working as a receptionist." Paige snorted out a laugh. "Plus, I was upset at her for looking so hot and being unavailable."

Spencer smiled obligingly before she turned serious to respond. "Emily doesn't hold grudges. You guys get along now, don't you?"

"Kind of. I mean, we get along through our kids. But I don't think I can gain her trust so quickly. I get what you say about not holding grudges, but… It would just be hard for her to forget that first impression."

Spencer nodded. She was screaming inside, being in the middle of Paige and Emily and knowing both sides of the story, but being unable to say too much, since they had both made her promise not to say anything. She raised her coffee cup in a salute. "I'm sure you'll figure it out," she said cryptically.


	11. The Gay-dy Bunch

Emily smiled when she saw Aria's picture lighting up her phone. She shook her hair out of the way as she swiped to accept the call and raised the phone to her ear. "Hey, Aria!"

"Hey, Em! I was hoping you could help me..."

"Sure thing!" Emily said eagerly. She moved to a sitting position on her bed, crossing her legs in front of her. "What's up?"

"Well, you know how I've been looking for gallery space in Philly? So, I heard from this agent about a place in Society Hill..."

"Oh, that's great, Aria!" Emily didn't mean to interrupt, but she was excited for Aria.

"... and she told me that there was a grant that could help me afford it, but to qualify for it, I need to give them a local mailing address..." Aria dragged out the last syllable, in an attempt to give Emily time to pick up on what she was hinting at.

"Oh!" Emily was surprised that Aria had come to her for help. "Well, have you tried Spencer? You know, she's got a lot of connections in the city."

"Right - but those are people who  _work_  there. I need somebody with a  _residential_ address."

"Oh, right..." Emily knitted her brow. "Hmm..."

"Anyway, Spencer mentioned that Paige..." Again, Aria drew out the syllable, but, again, Emily failed to pick up on what she was asking.

"Yeah, that's a good idea!" Emily paused, but Aria didn't say anything. "Do you need her number?" Emily was a little surprised that Spencer hadn't given it to her.

"I'm just not sure that she'd be willing to go along with the idea because  _I_ asked her... I mean, I haven't really even met her."

"Right!" Emily cleared her throat. "Do you think Spencer could ask her? Spencer can be pretty persuasive, you know."

"Well, she  _might_  agree to it if Spencer asked her, but I was thinking that you..."

Emily waited, but Aria didn't finish the thought. She chuckled into the phone. "You want me to ask Spencer to ask Paige?"

Aria sighed, realizing that she would have to come out and say what she wanted directly, since Emily wasn't picking up on any of her hints. "Em, Paige  _might_  say yes if Spencer asks her. But it  _you_ ask her, she won't say no."

"What?" Emily laughed. "Aria, what are you talking about?"

"You and Paige!"

"Me and Paige?" Emily was confused. "What about me and Paige?"

"Aren't you two... "

"What? No! Why would you think... Did Spencer say something to you?"

"Spencer? No... I just assumed. I mean, Paige is over at your house all the time. And you talk about her all the time. And you talk about Wayne as if he's your own child..."

Emily laughed at Aria's misunderstanding. It was weird to her that Aria thought that she and Paige were dating. Paige only hung out with her because of their kids. Paige actually hung out with Spencer a lot more - Paige and Spencer at the gym; Paige and Spencer at the Brew; Paige and Spencer sitting in a tree... Not that Emily was jealous, or anything.

"Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, Aria, but Paige and I are just friends," Emily explained. "I mean, I'll mention it to her, if you want, but Spencer's probably your best bet."

* * *

"Miss Emily likes you," Wayne announced as Paige tucked him into bed, trying his best to delay, for as long as possible, the moment when she would turn out the lights and tell him to try to fall asleep.

Paige smiled. She was genuinely happy that she and Emily had gotten past their rocky start and become friends. "She does?" Wayne nodded. "What makes you say that?" She wasn't surprised that Wayne had noticed their more cordial relations, but she was curious about why he was bringing it up at bedtime.

"Anna told me at our playdate." Wayne pushed the words out without any emotion. He was simply declaring facts, as if he were giving his teacher the answer to an arithmetic problem.

"You mean, tonight? Just now?" Wayne nodded sleepily. "Aww... Well, I hope you told her that I like Miss Emily, too," Paige said sweetly.

Wayne nodded again. Paige tucked the edge of his blanket back under the mattress, repeating a ritual that they had engaged in ever since Wayne moved from a crib to a bed. He liked his blanket untucked, but Paige couldn't bear to see it dangling at the side of the bed.

She leaned in to kiss him good-night, but he wasn't finished. "Miss Emily thinks you're pretty."

Paige's head snapped back, and she stifled a gasp. She had to remind herself that she was getting a child's eye view of things. Kids don't always get things right.

"Well, that's a nice thing for her to say," she said in the condescending voice that parents often use with their children, without realizing that they're being condescending. "And I think that she's very pretty, too."

Wayne sat up in the bed, realizing that his mother wasn't understanding what he was trying to say. "Mommy," he said urgently, "Miss Emily likes you the way that the women in the movies Auntie Miriam watches on TV like the men. The movies that make her cry, 'cause you said she's so happy." Wayne looked confused.

"Yeah?" Paige had no idea what to think or how to respond.

"Yeah," Wayne asserted, eager for his mother to believe him. "That's just weird!"

"Why is it weird?"

"Because!" Wayne shrugged his shoulders helplessly. "You're not a man!"

Paige stroked Wayne's cheek and leaned in, looking concerned. "Sweetheart, you know that it's okay for a woman to like another woman that way, right?"

"It is?" Wayne's little mind was slightly blown.

"Of course!"

"Oh. Okay!"

Just that quickly, Wayne had filed that new piece of information away and moved on.

Paige was surprised that he had never had to confront the concept of same-sex attraction. She thought back to when she was his age, realizing that it would have been mind-blowing news to her, too. But things were so much different back then. Then again, she realized, things weren't all that different. After all, none of the Hallmark movies that Auntie Miriam loved so much had ever featured a same-sex couple.

Paige couldn't help feeling a little relieved that Wayne, apparently, didn't know what his father had been referring to when he called her that name, that night when they fled their house in Philadelphia. They had never talked about the incident since it happened. She knew that they would have to, eventually, but she assumed that the discussion would take place when Wayne was older, and more able to understand. In the meantime, she was just glad that, apparently, Trevor hadn't said anything behind her back to poison her son's mind with homophobic thoughts.

* * *

Back at Emily's house, after putting Anna to bed, Emily was taking one last look at the still-unfinished puzzle on the table before she covered it up with the tablecloth again and put the remaining pieces back in the credenza. Paige had offered to help her clean up before she and Wayne left, but Emily waved her off. She could see how tired Wayne was; she knew that Paige needed to get him home and into bed.

Emily smiled as she remembered the expression on Wayne's face as he fought to keep his eyes open, pretending that he wasn't sleepy. She really loved that kid.

Emily sighed as she closed the credenza drawer. She was starting to get frustrated about the puzzle. She and Paige had unquestionably made good progress on it, but there were just so many pieces. At times, it seemed like a waste of time; an impossible task. It was fun, but what was it leading to? What was the point of working on something that they couldn't possibly finish?

Emily realized that she wasn't just describing the puzzle anymore. The puzzle had become a symbol for her relationship with Paige. They had definitely made significant progress in their relationship since the first time that Paige brought Wayne over for a playdate. And yet, there were still so many pieces of the puzzle that Emily had no clue about;- all of those tiny little pieces that had to go in in just the right way, or it wouldn't work. Emily had no doubt that it would be beautiful, once they managed to get all of the pieces together, but, at times, she despaired that she would ever get there. That  _they_  would ever get there.

It was too big a puzzle for one person to figure out alone. She needed help.

* * *

"I knew it!" Hanna exclaimed triumphantly, slamming her palm on the table and startling some of the people sitting nearby. "I knew from the first time you told me about her that you two were going to get together!"

"Hanna…" Emily said wearily.

"What? Dude, she's exactly your type!"

"My… type." Hanna tilted her head, as if to show how obvious it was. "And what type would that be, Hanna?" Emily asked wearily.

"You know." Hanna was flitting around animatedly in the booth. "The tough girl. The bad girl. The girl with a bit of an edge." She drew that last word out with a dramatic sting, like the announcer at a football game, flashing jazz hands as she said it.

Emily rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

"Yeah, 'Whatever.' From that day when you told me about your meeting in the principal's office…"

"Hanna," Emily interrupted, annoyed, "I didn't even like her then."

"Yeah," Hanna said sarcastically. "You hated her. Hated her so much that you just wanted to take her in the bathroom, pull her pants down, and spank her!"

"Hanna!" Emily conceded a laugh, but quickly turned serious again. "Oh, Hanna…" she half-whined. "I just don't know what to  _do!_ " She rubbed her temples. "Why is this so hard?"

"I don't know why you don't just tell her how you feel, Em."

"Because… She can barely tolerate me. She thinks I'm a spoiled, ditz. I swear, if it weren't for our kids, she wouldn't have anything to do with me at all."

"I thought you said she likes you!"

"Maybe!" Emily threw her hands up. "I don't know! Maybe it's just wishful thinking…"

"So, why don't you ask Spencer? You know, the only one of your friends whom Paige is actually willing to spend any time with. I thought she and Spencer were besties?"

"I  _have_  asked Spencer," Emily practically shouted. Hanna backed away, putting her hands up defensively. Emily, realizing that her frustration was misplaced, took Hanna's hand and gave it a quick squeeze, mouthing a contrite, "Sorry."

"I have asked Spencer," she said again; this time, more calmly. "I've dropped subtle hints, I've dropped obvious hints, I've asked whether Paige is interested in anybody, asked whether she ever talks about me..."

"And what did she say?"

Emily, mimicking Spencer, shrugged her shoulder. "You should ask her yourself," she said mockingly. "You're both adults!" Emily sighed bitterly.

"Do you want me to talk to Spencer?" Emily rolled her eyes. "What? Maybe she'll tell me something that she won't tell you!"

Emily put her head down, staring at the table. Her hands were flat against it, forming a pyramid, with her thumbs together to form the base and her index and middle-fingers touching at the peak. Her words were slow and hesitant. "I'm a little... provoked... with Spencer right now," she said, not looking up.

Hanna shrugged, putting her palms up, as if to ask why.

"Because! She... spends so much time with Paige, as you said. So, she  _has_  to know whether Paige likes me or not. So, either she's just not telling me, to be a bitch, or..." Emily raised an eyebrow towards Hanna suggestively. "... or she..." Emily couldn't even bear to say what she was thinking.

Hanna stiffened, pointing an accusing finger at her. "Don't!" she barked. Emily shrugged, helplessly. "You  _know_  Spencer's not like that! She would  _never_  go behind your back like that."

Emily hung her head, defeated. She knew, of course, that Hanna was right. Spencer would never lie to her about about the fact that she and Paige were just friends. Deep down, she never actually thought that there was anything going on between Spencer and Paige. She had only let her mind go there because she needed some way to rationalize the fact that Paige wasn't interested in her. "Why can't she just like me?" she asked weakly.

" _Emily,_ " Hanna pleaded.

"It was so much easier in high school. If I liked someone, she liked me back. I mean, shit - even when I  _didn't_  like people, they liked me."

Hanna let out a frustrated groan. She didn't know what to do with Emily when she was in one of those moods. "I can talk to Spencer," she offered again. Emily tightened her lips, rolling her eyes. "Do you want me to talk to Paige?" Hanna asked the question even though she already knew the answer.

"NO!" Emily, waving her index finger in front of her, was practically shouting. "I definitely do NOT want you to talk to Paige!" Emily wanted to make sure that there could be no misunderstanding.

"So, when are you going to see her again?"

"Tuesday," Emily said sadly. "She's dropping Wayne off for a playdate." Emily exhaled deeply, out of frustration. "That's how I actually realized that Paige was my type – when I saw that side of her: How good she is with her kid, how gentle she is with my kid…" Emily had a dreamy, faraway look in her eyes. It was contagious.

"Aww! You guys would be so cute with your little blended family!"

"Hanna…"

"It would be like the lesbian Brady Bunch." Hanna's eyes widened. "The  _Lady_ Bunch!"

"Hanna!"

"No!" Hanna gasped, and her excitement kicked up another notch. "The  _Gaydy_  Bunch!"

"Hanna Marin!"

But it was too late. Hanna was on a roll. She started to sing. "It's the story… of a gay named Paigey…"

"Oh, God – don't you dare ever call her that in person!"

Emily couldn't stop laughing as Hanna kept improvising lyrics to the theme from the Brady Bunch. Badly. All of a sudden, her laughter stopped, and her eyes went wide. Hanna whipped her head around and followed Emily's gaze to the door, where Paige and Wayne had just entered. Emily immediately put her head down, staring into her lap. It would have been impossible to make it any more obvious to Paige that they had just been talking about her. But Paige didn't know how to respond to that – or to the little bombshell that Wayne had dropped a few days earlier. She rocked back and forth on her heels a time or two, and her grip on Wayne's hand tightened – an involuntary response borne of fear. Her grip wasn't painfully tight, but the change made Wayne look up at her, to see what was the matter.

Most people, having been caught staring the way Hanna was, would have turned their heads away just as quickly as they'd turned them in the first place, but not Hanna Marin. She just smiled unabashedly and wiggled her fingers in a wave. Wayne mirrored the wiggly wave with the hand that Paige wasn't holding. Paige cleared her throat, covering her mouth with her fist as she did. "Ladies," she said, nodding her head as a greeting, her voice a couple of octaves lower than usual. After awkwardly standing there like a statue as she tried to figure out her next move, she turned aside abruptly and headed towards the front counter.

Hanna followed her and Wayne with her eyes until they made it to the line for service. Sitting up straight in the booth, she deepened her voice and mimicked Paige. "Ladies…" Once she said it, she started cracking up. Emily smacked her forearm over and over, telling her to stop, but it was futile. Hanna had completely lost it. Between smacks, Emily sneaked peeks at the line where Paige and Wayne were waiting, with their backs to Emily and Hanna's booth. Paige had to have heard Hanna laughing; there was no way she couldn't have. But she never turned around. She just kept staring stoically at the menu board, holding Wayne on her hip, so that he could see it, too.

Hanna eventually sank back against her seat with one last, extended sigh of a laugh. "Oh, God," she announced, fanning herself with her hand. "She is so fucking gay-balls for you!"

Emily lowered her head but couldn't stop smiling at the realization that Hanna was probably right: Paige most likely  _was_  totally gay-balls for her.

As the line of people in front of Paige and Wayne started to dwindle down, Emily, realizing that it was going to be their turn to order soon, and that, once they ordered, they would turn around to look for a place to sit, started working on her exit strategy. She picked her phone up from the table, glancing at it quickly and announcing, "Well, I need to get going."

Hanna rolled her eyes at Emily's sudden need to get going, but she went along with it and started loading up her handbag. Emily tidied up the booth a little, and they stood to leave.

"Aren't you going to say good-bye?"

"Hanna, Paige doesn't want…"

"Bye, Paige!" Hanna interrupted, shouting from the doorway. Emily quickly pushed her outside. She realized that rushing out the door like that after Hanna called attention to them was only making her look even more like some pathetic high school girl with a pathetic crush, but she was reacting from the survival, fight-or-flight part of her brain, not the rational part. She just had to get out of there – and she had to get Hanna out of there.

* * *

*** * * DELETED SCENE * * ***

**A/N - Hey there... So, I've gotten a few requests to write about what Emily said to Spencer about Paige, and I honestly tried to, but I couldn't get a handle on it. It came out bitter and contentious... I'm not really sure why it did or how to fix it.**

**I'm so sorry that I couldn't deliver on this prompt, guys! :( But, here's the deleted scene, just to prove to you that I actually tried... It** **would have taken the place of that last Hannily scene, above...**

* * *

"So, how's your caseload going? Working on anything interesting?"

"It's... going," Spencer said pensively. "Philly real estate is really hot, right now. Everyone's so starved for development space that anything's fair game. I wouldn't be surprised if they knocked down Independence Mall and put up an office tower, or converted the Art Museum into condominiums!"

Emily laughed dryly and took another sip of her coffee. "So, speaking of Philadelphia," she said, trying to sound casual, "Any movement on Paige's case?"

Spencer nodded. "Yeah. We're making a little headway."

"What's the hold up, anyway?"

Spencer gave Emily one of her condescending Spencer Hastings smiles. "Em, you know that I can't go into details about that."

"Yeah," Emily backed down a little too eagerly. She was trying to hide her nerves, but she had the feeling that Spencer could see right through her. "Yeah, I know. I was just making conversation." Spencer nodded. "I mean... I just know that she's really frustrated about how long everything's taking."

"Well," Spencer said wearily, "the wheels of justice turn very slowly. It's not like what you see on Law and Order."

"Hmm." Emily let a little pause develop in the conversation, but she didn't let it go on long enough to allow Spencer time to change the subject. "Has she talked to you about her husband?"

"Come on, Emily!"

"Come on what?"

"You know that, if Paige and I had discussed her marriage, I wouldn't be able to say anything."

"Who's asking you to say anything?" Emily sounded offended - on purpose. Anything to get Spencer on the defensive and, possibly, give Emily an advantage. "She's told me what happened with her husband, Spencer. You're not her only friend in Rosewood, you know!"

"I know that you guys are friends," Spencer said calmly, using her experience with heated negotiations to try to lower the tension level between them. "And I know what you want me to say. But I'm not going to go there, Emily. You guys are both adults - you're perfectly capable of talking for yourselves."

Emily scoffed bitterly. "Well, can you at least tell me whether she ever mentions me?" Spencer rolled her eyes. "I'm asking you as my  _friend,_  not as Paige's lawyer."

"Okay, well, first of all, I'm not her lawyer..."

"Does she talk about other women?"

Spencer reached across the table and picked up Emily's phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Why don't I just get Paige on the phone?" she asked, without a hint of sarcasm. "You can ask her anything you want."

Emily snatched her phone back from Spencer, unable to keep from smiling. "Sorry," she said sincerely. "I really didn't invite you out just to talk about Paige." Spencer raised an eyebrow. "Okay, maybe 90% was to talk about Paige, but... we can talk about other stuff, too."

Spencer smiled. "That sounds good."

Emily sighed resignedly and changed the subject. "Does  _Wayne_  ever talk about me?"


	12. Photo Opportunities

"Paige! I'm so glad you could make it!" Aria, despite the heels that she was wearing, still needed to get up on her tiptoes to give Paige a hug. "I'm a hugger," she explained as they parted. Paige smiled politely. "And you must be Wayne," Aria added, running her fingers through his hair. Wayne shuddered slightly at the unexpected contact. Aria leaned in and whispered to Paige, "I'm sorry; I should've said something, but I think some of the images might be a little intense for someone Wayne's age."

"Oh..." Paige, flustered, looked around for something to do, as if some sort of child's valet would magically pop up, where she could check Wayne in for babysitting.

Out of the blue, Hanna swooped in.

"That's why I'm here," she said, scooping Wayne up in her arms. "You look like the kind of guy who would enjoy a banana split that's the size of your head!"

Wayne's eyes went wide as he tried to imagine such a thing. He looked at Paige for permission. "Hanna," she said sadly, "I couldn't ask..."

"Don't worry about it," Hanna said. "I've already seen Aria's exhibit."

Paige really did want to see Aria's exhibit. And the pleading look of anticipation in Wayne's eyes sealed the deal. She didn't want to crush his hopes. Reaching for her purse, she said, "Well, at least let me give you some cash."

"I've got it covered!" Hanna nodded her chin towards a corner by the restrooms, where Emily was suddenly pretending to be looking for something in her purse rather than staring at the four of them. "I'll get it from Emily. She owes me." As she headed towards the door, she added, under her breath, "Big time!" Emily would have had fun with Paige and Wayne, but if she were ever going to make any progress with Paige, she would need to have some one-on-one time with her.

"Listen," Aria said, landing her hand on Paige's shoulder, "I really want to thank you for letting me use your address."

"Oh," Paige said dismissively, "It was no big deal. Honestly."

She was lying. Trevor was still living in the house, and the last thing Paige wanted was to have to hold a conversation with him. She knuckled down and did it, though. After all, Spencer had been a big help to her, and she wanted to pay it forward. Besides, it seemed so important to Emily, when Emily asked her. Talking to Trevor wasn't the last thing that Paige wanted to do. Disappointing Emily was.

And, speaking of Emily...

When Paige felt a hand on her back, she didn't need to turn around to figure out who it was. She knew that it was Emily even before she felt the hand on her back. She would have known that scent anywhere.

Paige's heart started beating faster. Part of the reason that she had brought Wayne with her - other than the fact that she just loved the kid and didn't like doing things without him - was so that he could serve as a buffer, to keep her from doing something stupid. Paige had no experience in this kind of thing; she had always been the one being pursued, never the pursuer. It had been the story of her life ever since boys her age started noticing girls. She had never practiced wooing someone or courting, and she was afraid that she would make an absolute mess of it. Paige wasn't the sort of person who liked to do anything without being over-prepared. That's how accidents happened. She was certain that, if she tried to make a move on Emily, she would do something too obvious or over the top and scare her away. Wayne had been sort of her insurance policy, to keep a check on her behavior.

"Paige," Emily said, giving her back a slight rub. It was the voice of an angel.

"Hi," Paige said eagerly, squashing all her nerves. Emily gave her a quick hug before moving to hug Aria.

"I was just thanking Paige for coming through for me and getting me this space," Aria gushed.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" Emily replied, taking a look around. She gave Paige a smile and gave her arm a squeeze.

Paige shrugged her shoulders. "I just let her use my address. It's not as if I paid for space or anything."

"Well, I couldn't have gotten it without you," Aria said sincerely. Quickly switching gears, she added, "Listen, I'd love to give you guys the guided tour, but I see some people whom I have to schmooze with. Can I catch up with you on the other side?"

"Oh, sure!" Emily said eagerly. "We'll just wander around," she added with a pleasant shrug.

Paige deflated, her last hope of having a buffer between her and Emily gone off to schmooze.

Emily took Paige's arm and set off, looking at the photos and making comments on them. Paige was silent, for the most part, unable to get over her nervousness. It made for an awkward night.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked, more than once. It had been a while since things had been like that with Paige, the two of them finding themselves with nothing to say. Paige nodded her head, trying desperately to come up with an explanation other than that she was infatuated with Emily and too nervous to speak. "Are you thinking about Wayne?" Paige gave a slight, non-committal shrug. "Hanna's really good with kids," Emily assured her. "She watches Anna all the time."

"Yeah, I..." Paige cleared her throat. "I'm sure she is."

Paige didn't seem to get any calmer, so Emily found herself unconsciously rushing them through the exhibit, trying to get through it so that Paige could get back to Wayne and feel at ease again. Emily understood Paige's discomfort: She didn't really know Hanna, and Hanna could be a bit full-on.

Emily wasn't upset. But she was disappointed.

Paige was disappointed, too. There she was, walking through a photography exhibit with someone she had feelings for, and she was so busy worrying about messing everything up that she was... well, messing everything up. It was a golden opportunity - a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing, and she was letting it slip through her fingers.

* * *

"So, do you like Ms. Emily?"

"Uh huh." Wayne nodded, never looking up from his banana split which, as Hanna had promised, was a big as his head. "She's pretty," he crooned.

Hanna gasped in mock excitement, as if she were learning this about Emily for the first time. "She is, isn't she?" she said, in her enthusiastic, preschool-teacher-ish voice.

Wayne nodded again. "That's what Mommy says." A bite or two later, he added, "And Mommy says she smells so good."

"Mommy said that?" Hanna was flashing a wry smile, not that Wayne noticed. But the smile wasn't for him anyway. She flipped the hair out of her face coquettishly and batted her eyes. "And does Mommy say that I'm pretty, too?"

Wayne shook his head. "No," he said unemotionally, "she says you're loud."

"Well, Mommy's not very tactful, is she?" Wayne might have asked what tactful meant, had he not been so engrossed in his ice cream. Instead, he just shrugged his little shoulders. Hanna squeezed his wrist. "Well," she conceded, lingering on the word "I guess Mommy has a point."

"Uh huh," Wayne said flatly.

Hanna leaned across the table, with her elbows flat against it. "Do you know what Ms. Emily's daddy's name is?"

"Uh uh," Wayne said. He paused from his ice cream and looked up at Hanna. "Mr. Fields?"

Hanna laughed lightly. "You're a pretty bright little man aren't you?" Wayne kind of smiled before putting his spoon back to work. "Well, yes," Hanna told him, "His name is Mr. Fields, but his first name is Wayne."

"It is?" Hanna nodded. "Like me!"

"You're right!" Hanna said, gasping with wide-eyed wonder. She put up her hand, and Wayne gave her a high five. "And do you want to know a secret?" Wayne, intrigued, stopped eating and nodded his head, with his mouth hanging open. Hanna gestured with her finger for him to come closer, and he leaned in. "That's why you'll always be special to Ms. Emily," she whispered. "Because you and her daddy have the same name." Wayne smiled in delight. "Don't you ever forget that, okay?"

Hanna knew that Paige and Emily were going to end up together. She decided to get a head start on letting Wayne know that Emily would love him as much as she loved Anna.

While Wayne was still leaning across the table, Hanna tickled him on his neck and he laughed, sending his spoon flying. He looked down and panicked when he saw a big chocolate stain on his shirt.

"Hey - that's okay," Hanna assured him. "Here," she said, extending her arm. "You tickle me!" Wayne reached out and clumsily tickled her wrist. She mimicked him perfectly, laughing and tossing her spoon, then looking down with a gasp. "Now, I've got chocolate on my shirt, too!"

Wayne's eyes watched as Hanna went to get some napkins and a couple of clean spoons. He liked Auntie Hanna, he decided. She was fun.

* * *

As the night wore on, and Paige remained mostly silent, Emily found herself falling harder and harder for her. She couldn't help but admire her. What kind of woman loves her kid that much, that she would take him to an art gallery in Philadelphia, and then spend the whole night worrying about him?

Emily decided that she should stop worrying about trying to get Paige to like her and just enjoy the friendship that they were building. Whatever else was going to happen would have to happen in its own time.

"Wayne's a great kid, isn't he?"

Paige's eyes lit up. "He really is. I don't know what I did to deserve a kid like that."

"I know, right?"

"Oh, yeah..." Paige suddenly remembered that she wasn't the only one who had a great kid. "Yeah, Anna's great, too... I mean..." Paige was trying to find a way to say it so that it didn't sound like the obligatory, "you say something nice about my kid, so I have to say something nice about your kid" thing. "Anna's just so full of love."

Emily smiled. "Thanks."

"No, I mean it," Paige said earnestly. "When I think back to Wayne's first days in Rosewood... Well, he was really lucky to have someone as kind as Anna to befriend him."

Emily sighed. "It must've been such a confusing time for him."

Paige nodded. "Sometimes, I just feel so bad for him. I mean, he didn't deserve any of this crap." Paige shook her head, looking very emotional. "Children don't have any choice about the world they're brought into, and very little control over what goes on around them." Paige, once again, was starting to feel bad for talking only about herself. "Well, I guess... I mean, you've been doing this on your own for five years..."

"Not really on my own, though, you know? I mean, I don't think I ever would have been able to think about raising a child on my own if I didn't have a great support system to fall back on." Emily tightened her lips. "At least not in the early days. I know - I've always known - that the girls are going to start families of their own, sooner or later, but, now we're at the point where Anna's older, so it's not quite as scary to think about doing it on my own. "

"Well, you'll never be totally on your own."

"Oh, I know," Emily said confidently, though she missed Paige's point. "Even when they start their own families, I know they'll be willing to pitch in."

"And I'm sure you'll be pitching in to help them, too."

"Yeah," Emily said with a smile.

Paige took a deep breath. "And, you know, I can... I'll... I mean, if you need anything, I - Wayne and I..."

Emily stopped in her tracks and touched Paige's cheek. She had never touched her so intimately before, but Paige was just so sweet. And so adorably flustered. Emily really wanted to kiss that cheek - or those lips - but something held her back. It wasn't fear so much as boundaries.

It occurred to Paige that she and Emily were talking fluently; back in their comfort zone. That realization made her start to relax, no longer afraid that she was going to say or do something inappropriate or too eager, and push Emily away.

"It's too bad the kids couldn't come to this," Emily mused.

"Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking," Paige said, dipping her head. "Obviously, it's not the kind of thing you would take a kid to."

"I don't know about  _obvious_ ," Emily said. "I only knew because I'd seen some of the photographs that Aria was using." Paige smiled weakly. Emily got the feeling that she was still mentally beating herself up for that minor faux-pas. "We should go to the Please Touch Museum sometime," she offered, trying to get Paige's mind on something else. "Have you ever been?"

Paige laughed. Raising a child in Philly, of course she'd been to the Please Touch Museum. "Oh, yeah!" she said with a scoff. "Wayne loves that place. We've got a membership!" Paige leaned in, as if she were telling Emily a secret. "I could get you in for free!"

Emily played along. "Oh, wow! Well, that ices it! Let's go sometime! The four of us!"

"Okay," Paige said, with a mock frown, "if you insist on taking the kids..."

* * *

"Well," Emily said slowly and with a pout, "it looks as if that's the the last of them."

Paige inhaled as if she were about to say something, but she shook her head.

"What?"

"I just..." Paige took a deep breath to calm herself down. "Well, would you mind if we went back through that first room? I kind of rushed us through it, and one of the pictures was really intriguing. The one with the..." Paige gestured with her fingers. She didn't know how to describe it. Well, actually, she didn't even remember any of the pictures. She just wanted a little more time with Emily before they called it a night.

"Yeah, sure," Emily said eagerly, jumping in in the middle of Paige's description, to let her off the hook. "But good luck getting Wayne to sleep tonight, after Hanna finishes pumping him full of ice cream and sugar!"

"Oh, please," Paige said, waving Emily off. "He'll be passed out in a food coma before we hit 95! But I  _will_  probably need to get him on the treadmill in the morning!"

"Yeah, right," Emily said, rolling her eyes. "With his five-year-old's metabolism?"

Paige smacked herself on the forehead. "What was I thinking? Man, if I could bottle that metabolism, I'd be a millionaire!"

* * *

Paige looked in the rearview mirror to check on Wayne as she pulled onto the interstate. Just as she had predicted, he was already fast asleep. She smiled to herself. He was a good kid. And it had been a pretty good night.

 


	13. Finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello... So, in my rush to get that last chapter out, I didn't fill in all the blanks, and that led to some confusion about whether or not Aria's exhibit was a date for Paige and Emily. A few of you got it right - it wasn't planned as a date, but it ended up looking remarkably like one. So sorry for the confusion! Thanks for reading!

**A/N - Hello... So, in my rush to get that last chapter out, I didn't fill in all the blanks, and that led to some confusion about whether or not Aria's exhibit was a date for Paige and Emily. A few of you got it right - it wasn't planned as a date, but it ended up looking remarkably like one. So sorry for the confusion! Thanks for reading!**

* * *

"Spencer, that's incredible news!"

"Yeah, finally," Spencer agreed. Ordinarily, she would've texted Paige rather than call her, when she was at work, but she wanted to be able to hear the reaction when Paige found out that the last hurdle had been surmounted, and her paperwork was finally on its way from the Philadelphia School District to Rosewood.

"But, that's not all," Spencer continued. "I worked with the teachers' union, and we were able to get you a cash payout for your benefits – you know, your unused vacation time and sick leave."

"Wow!" That was more than Paige was expecting. "You're... amazing, Spencer. I could kiss you!"

Spencer chuckled. "Well, maybe buy me a drink instead."

"You're on! But, seriously, how much do I owe you?"

"Ehh – don't worry about it."

"Spencer…"

"Really. The firm encourages us to do  _pro bono_  work. It's good PR. It looks good, when we're trying to recruit those wealthy, well-connected clients who want to sign with a firm that gives something back to the community."

What Spencer was saying was true. Also, there was no way that Paige could have afforded her billing rates.

* * *

It was too late in the school year for Paige to get a job with the Rosewood School District. But with the unexpected windfall from her old job, plus the money that she had been able to put away since she moved to Rosewood, she had a choice: She could move out of her aunt's house and get her own apartment, or she could quit her job and take some time off before the new school year started.

In the end, she decided to quit her job, and free it up for some high school or college student who needed some summer income. And she knew that her aunt wouldn't mind the company for another few months. It had been a bit lonely for her, living in that house alone, with no other family in Rosewood.

Paige used her newly earned free time, when she wasn't devoting it to Wayne and Miriam, to volunteer at the elementary school. They were always looking for parents to fill in as playground monitors and cafeteria monitors. Paige was also able to volunteer as a chaperone when her son's class took a field trip to the zoo.

The field trip was different from what Paige was accustomed to. In the city, they walked or took the subway or the city bus to their destinations. It was different to see the big, yellow school bus out in front of the flagpole, ready to whisk the young students to the zoo. It made Paige feel fully suburban – something that she had always looked down upon, when she lived in the city. She had to admit, though, that the suburbs had their advantages.

The school's protocol was for the adult chaperones to sit at the front of the bus, near the teacher, but Paige suggested that the chaperones should sit in the rear of the bus, where they would be able to keep an eye on the kids – and where the kids would know that they were being monitored. It made sense to the teacher, so Paige headed to the back of the bus with the other chaperone, Emily Fields. Emily had volunteered to chaperone after Wayne told Anna and Anna told Emily that Paige had signed up to chaperone.

Emily had spent a lot of time on her outfit, trying to find something that said, "fun day at the zoo." More than that, she didn't want to look like a  _mom_. Actually, that wasn't quite it. She wanted to look like a mom, but not one of those dowdy moms. A fun mom. A young mom. A cool mom. A MILF, even, although she wouldn't have put it that way.

She ended up going with a simple pair of skinny jeans, a white, sleeveless shirt with sneakers that matched, and a sun hat that she was too embarrassed to put on. It sat in her lap, where, at least, it gave her something to do with her hands. She smiled as Paige made her way to the back seat of the bus. Paige smiled, too, before she dipped her head. "I saved you a seat," Emily joked, with a nervous laugh that came out a bit too loud.

"I like the hat," Paige remarked, and Emily felt like hiding it, still wondering what she was thinking when she decided to take it with her.

"Oh, thanks," Emily said shyly. "I brought it because it's supposed to be sunny, but…" Emily realized how silly that answer was, when she had her hair down, covering what the hat would have covered. "Actually," she said with a slight stutter, "maybe I should let you borrow it." She was referring to Paige's hair, which had been growing in but was still relatively short. Paige, having misunderstood, rubbed the exposed, fair skin on her shoulder, which smelled of sunblock.

"Oh, yeah. My skin doesn't really handle the sun all that well," she mused. She pulled a tube of sunscreen out of her bag and held it up proudly. "But I came prepared!"

Once the bus got underway, Paige was all business. Emily was amazed at her ability to multitask – and at the respect that she commanded, among children who didn't even know her. In the middle of their conversation, Paige only had to clear her throat or say a child's name with a certain inflection to get the shenanigans to stop. And, just as quickly, she veered seamlessly back into her conversation with Emily.

"That's amazing, how you can do that," Emily remarked.

"Do what?"

"Get them to stop with just a word."

"Oh, well, you know…" Paige's discomfort at talking about herself was adorable. "What can I say? Five years in Philly public schools…" Emily nodded, with a sympathetic frown. "It's not as bad as people make it out to be," Paige assured her. "Kids are kids, wherever you are. They just need to know that they're safe and they're loved." Emily was hanging on Paige's every word, genuinely interested. It was a little intimidating, and it made Paige cut her speech short. "I'm sure you've seen the same thing," she said, her voice trailing off.

"Actually, this is my first time chaperoning," Emily admitted. If Paige picked up on what Emily was hinting at (about why she decided to volunteer for the first time ever), she hid it well. She just gave Emily a thumbs up and assured her that she would be great at it.

* * *

Wayne wasn't so old that he was embarrassed to have his mother come along with him on a field trip, but he was old enough to feel independent and secure enough to hang out with his friends, with only occasional checks to ensure that Paige was nearby. Anna, similarly, was caught up in the excitement of being among the animals and her friends, so Paige and Emily, as they had on the bus, found themselves trailing behind the kids, keeping mostly to themselves as they kept an eye on everyone.

"Do you think you ever get used to that smell?" Paige asked

"What do you mean?"

"If you worked here," Paige clarified. "I remember reading a story by a reporter who did a ride-along in a garbage truck, and one of the guys told him that you stop smelling the trash, after a while."

"I bet their wives smell it!" Emily offered.

"I know," Paige concurred, with a sour expression. "I don't think I could eat my lunch, if I had to be around this smell every day."

The sun was hot on Paige's neck. Her hair was growing in, but she was wearing it up, leaving her neck exposed. She reached back to rub it, worried that she might be getting a sunburn. Emily picked up on the gesture and swiped her index finger across the area. It sent a chill down Paige's spine.

"Paige!" Emily half-whined. "I told you, you need to wear a hat!" Emily put her yellow sun hat on Paige's head, pulling the droopy, oversized brim down around her face with both hands. It looked like one of the images from an ad for an iPhone's camera. Emily lingered there longer than she should have, only knocked out of the moment when she sensed Paige's breath hitch. "Sorry. You just look so cute." She gave Paige's shoulder a shove, pretending that she meant "cute" in a purely platonic way.

The kids wanted to go through the insect habitat – something that Emily hadn't foreseen. She was always skittish around insects, and she had really tried to change the kids' minds. If Paige hadn't been the other chaperone, Emily probably would have made an excuse to wait outside, but she already worried that Paige saw her as a lightweight, with her froufrou dog and her girly mannerisms.

She tried to act unaffected as they got to the entrance, but Paige must have picked up on her unease. She took Emily's hand and gave it a squeeze, as if to say that they were going to get through it together. The truth was that Paige had been trying to work up the courage to do something like taking Emily's hand. The insect habitat just provided a viable excuse.

Emily told herself to play it cool –  _not_  to smile over something as foolish as holding Paige's hand. She held hands with her friends all the time; it was no big deal. But she couldn't convince her heart of that. And she couldn't stop her mind from wandering to thoughts walking down the sidewalk in Rosewood, hand in hand with Paige, or sitting in a movie theater holding hands, or lying awake at night, face to face in bed together. Holding hands.  _Ugh… Get it together, Emily!_  she chided herself. Paige was just being helpful; being a friend. If she had wanted anything more than that, she would've made a move by now; especially after their beautiful night at Aria's exhibit.

In what seemed, to Emily, like an instant (but would probably have felt like an eternity had she not been distracted by holding Paige's hand), they were walking out of the other side of the habitat, and Paige released her grip on Emily's hand. Emily tried to say thank you, but she couldn't find her voice, so she just smiled. That was more than enough for Paige.

As they walked along from one section of the zoo to another, Paige felt someone take her hand. She looked down to see Anna smiling up at her. She smiled back and leaned closer to her, bending at the waist. "Are you having fun, Sweetie?" Anna nodded and, swinging their hands a little, proceeded to describe the animals she'd seen and what she'd seen them doing. Paige turned to Emily with a smile. Emily looked as if her heart were about to overdose on pure feelings.

When they came up to a play area, Paige and Emily stopped, letting the kids run around. Anna stopped, too, not letting go of Paige's hand. She seemed content to stand there and watch, even though her friends were all over the equipment, working off all of their energy from lunch. After a moment or two, Paige, sensing what was happening, let go of Anna's hand and gave her a quick hug from the side. Only then did Anna feel that she could politely head off to the play area, and she took off like a rocket.

Paige laughed, her mouth open wide. "What a great kid," she said to Emily. Emily shared the laughter with her, leaning in to bump shoulders with her. It meant everything to her, that Paige loved her daughter - and that her daughter loved Paige.

* * *

The field trip included a $5 fee for souvenirs, and the class made a stop at the gift shop before they headed back to the bus. Fortunately, they had pretty much worn themselves out with all the walking, running, climbing – and just the adrenaline of the day. Otherwise, they would mostly likely have gone crazy in the gift shop and ripped everything to shreds. But, instead, they were just subdued enough to allow Paige, Emily, and their teacher to help them find souvenirs that were suitable, individual, and affordable.

Emily kept glancing over at Paige, as Paige helped different children with their decisions and then got them into the checkout line. She really was good at it. Not that Emily was surprised. She would have been, when they first met, but, in the time they'd gotten to know each other, when Wayne and Anna had their play dates, Emily had seen Paige's gentle, compassionate side with kids. It was hard not to be moved by it.

By the time they headed back to the bus, Paige was carrying an exhausted little boy in her arms and holding a worn-out little girl by the hand. Emily couldn't help thinking how much easier parenting was, with two. The ratio might be the same as in single-parenting; – one parent to one child, versus two parents to two children, but having that second parent could make such a difference.  _The Gaydy_   _Bunch_. Emily snickered at the recollection of Hanna's made-up song.

"What?" Paige smiled, looking over the shoulder of the child she was carrying, wondering what had caused Emily to laugh.

Emily shook her head. "Nothing – it's… hard to explain. It's stupid."

"Come on," Paige prodded.

"You," Emily lied, giving Paige's shoulder a playful punch. "You're like a big, overgrown kid!" Paige raised an eyeball, skeptically. "I don't know." Emily waved dismissively. "It just struck me funny."

Paige tilted her head, as if to tell a secret. "I get that a lot," she half-whispered, winking.

Emily smiled and took a breath, daring to say what she'd been thinking for most of the day, but not brave enough to look Paige in the eye when she finally said it. "We should come back here some time. Just the four of us." In her head, she saw them wandering through the gift shop at a more leisurely pace, trying on the animal masks, taking selfies with the stuffed animals, buying matching shirts, or something stupid like that.

* * *

Emily didn't realize how exhausted she was until, when all the kids were counted and in their seats, she took her seat at the back of the bus next to Paige. She let her head fall on Paige's shoulder for just an instant, before she remembered herself and lifted it quickly with an embarrassed smile and a quick, "Sorry."

"Come on," Paige said impatiently, as if Emily were being silly. She gently moved Emily's head back onto her shoulder. Emily didn't protest. It felt good.

In another world, Paige would have put her arm around Emily's waist and held her there protectively. Instead, she kept very still, not wanting anything to disturb the scene, or the angel on her shoulder. It had been a long time, she thought. As she thought it over, she wondered whether it had ever happened at all, before; whether anything – any _one_  had ever felt so right.

"You were great out there today," Emily said through a yawn, adding, "with the kids," as if Paige didn't know what she meant.

"Me?  _You_  were great?" Paige wasn't just being modest, deflecting the compliment back to Emily. She had seen how great Emily was with the kids, always there when someone needed a shoelace tied, or a boost to be able to see into the cages, or a hand or a hug when the animals got too loud or too close.

"We make a good team," Emily said dreamily, burrowing a little deeper into Paige's shoulder before she realized what she was doing. "Oh, sorry!" She sat up urgently, opening her eyes wide. This wasn't a pleasure trip; they were there to work; to keep the kids safe.

"Shh, shh, shh." Once again, Paige eased Emily's head back onto her shoulder. "I've got this," she assured her.

"Really?" Emily intoned guiltily. She was too tired to protest. And her head on Paige's shoulder just felt so good.

Emily's eyes had fallen closed, but she felt Paige nod her head. "They're mostly asleep, anyway," Paige assured her.

 _Mostly asleep,_ Emily thought.  _Like me._

She could be forgiven for taking Paige up on her offer. Paige seemed to enjoy watching over the children. That was probably one of the reasons, Emily concluded, that Paige had become a teacher.

Paige sat silent and still, like a rock.  _Emily's_   _rock,_  she thought. It was a good feeling. The bus' diesel engine rumbled in the background, the tires thumped in steady rhythm against the hard asphalt, and the soft snores of the kindergarten class echoed back and forth through the bus like different instruments in an orchestra passing a melody among themselves. It was music to Paige's ears. She had missed being in school, surrounded by the energy of her young students. But that wasn't all that she'd missed. As Emily's chest slowly rose and fell, and her soft breath landed against Paige's blouse, she realized how hard it was to be alone; how much she missed that simple contact, from a person who meant the world to her.

Paige's mind wandered to lazy afternoons with Wayne, when he was off playing his games or watching TV, and she was there, in the background, a steadying presence; a reminder that he was safe. And loved. She was never alone, of course; not with Wayne in her life. And she was definitely loved. Still, it wasn't the same. Paige wondered whether she would ever experience that kind of love with another human being; whether she could find it with Emily.

* * *

Emily didn't realize that she had fallen asleep until the bus pulled to a stop and she was startled awake by the sound of squeaky brakes, trying to remember where she was. The last thing that she remembered was Paige gently kissing the top of her head – or was that just a dream?


	14. Ghosted

"Mommy, why do you keep doing that?"

Paige was miles away, unaware that she had been doing something repeatedly, and not really conscious of the fact that she wasn't alone. "Doing what?"

"You keep picking up your phone, looking at it, and putting it down again."

Paige let out a sigh. "I've been waiting for a call from… someone," she stammered. "Emily," she admitted.

"Doesn't your phone ring when someone calls?"

Paige, initially upset at her son's question, realized that he wasn't taunting her. He just didn't understand her behavior. How lucky for him, she thought, not knowing what it felt like to be waiting for someone to call, and worrying about why she hadn't. He would discover hat feeling soon enough, she thought, sadly.

Paige smiled, taking her son's face in her hands. "Yes, it does," she conceded. "It's just… I've just been waiting for a long time, and I'm not sure why she hasn't called yet."

"Can't you call her?" Paige recognized her son's desire to fix problems. She was pretty sure that he got it from her.

"I  _did_  call her," she explained, saying the words for her own benefit as much as for him. It was as if she needed to justify to herself her feelings of confusion and her fear of abandonment.

"Well, why don't you text her?"

"Because…" Once again, Paige's answer was as much about convincing herself as her son. "Because, sometimes, when people don't call you back, it's because they don't want to talk to you. And they don't really like it if you keep trying to contact them."

"Why doesn't she want to talk to you?"

That was the million dollar question.

"I don't know, Champ," Paige said weakly.

"Is she mad at you?"

Paige shrugged. "Maybe."

"Oh." Wayne turned aside, as if he had had enough of the conversation. He turned around again, though, and put his hand on top of his mom's. Paige smiled, despite herself. Her son really was like her.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Hon?"

"I'm not mad at you."

Whatever possessed Wayne to think that those words would make Paige feel better, they worked. She gathered him into her arms where she sat and held him close. "Thank you, Wayne!"

* * *

Paige's mood went from sadness to despair as the afternoon wore on. She had overstepped on the field trip; she knew she had. She had pissed Emily off – or scared her off, at least. Whatever it was, she messed everything up. It was stupid of her to assume that Emily would want her to hold her hand. were it not for the insects, or that would fall asleep on her shoulder for any reason other than that she was totally exhausted. Paige knew that she had read too much into the situation and that she needed to back off. That was the message that Emily was sending by her silence.

But Emily had seemed fine at the time. Maybe, Paige worried, she had waited too long. She should have called Emily right away – that night, to make sure that she'd gotten home safely. She should have called before the spell was broken and Emily realized that Paige was just another parent whom she happened to get along with, not someone with a hand to hold when she was afraid or a shoulder to lean on when she was tired. Or maybe the fact that Paige waited so long to call made Emily think that  _she_  wasn't interested. Maybe Emily had moved on. Spencer had it right: There was no shortage of women in Rosewood for Emily to date. Maybe Paige should have made it clearer, when she called, that it wasn't just a friendly call. Maybe she should call her back and try again.

No.

Paige realized that she was being crazy. Emily didn't need a crazy stalker in her life. Paige didn't know what Emily needed – but, apparently, it wasn't Paige.

At around four in the afternoon, Paige received a text from Emily's phone. "In the ER. Anna had a fall. She'll be okay. Emily's a mess."

* * *

Emily was exhausted but too worried to fall asleep as she waited for someone to come and tell her something – anything – about what was happening. When she heard the door open and felt Hanna's body pull away from her, she looked up expecting to see a doctor or a nurse, but was shocked to see Paige standing there, looking concerned.

The text didn't say that Emily wanted Paige to come. Paige wasn't even sure who had sent it, until she saw Emily half-reclining there, Hanna's arms. Still, as soon as she read the message, she made arrangements with her aunt to look after Wayne and got dressed.

Emily was stunned. For an instant, she didn't want Paige to see her like that, and she quickly wiped the tears off on her sleeve, worried what they had done to her makeup.

Hanna stood, saying something about finding coffee. Emily was left in the half-reclining position that she'd been in before, leaning on one arm that was planted on the seat where Hanna had been sitting. Paige was frozen in place, wanting to make things better, but not knowing how. Hanna paused and glared at her on her way out to look for coffee. That was all the prodding that Paige needed. She took the seat next to Emily, and Emily immediately collapsed into her arms, collapsing into tears.

It felt good to hold Emily like that. Paige couldn't change the situation, but she felt that she was holding Emily together, keeping her from crumbling.

And it felt good to be held like that by Paige. It felt good to know that Paige was there for her, to care for her and to take care of her.

"Did Hanna tell you what happened?"

Paige shook her head. "Not really." It was true: Hanna hadn't given many details. But, also, Paige realized that Emily probably needed to talk about it.

Emily sat up a little, looping her arm around Paige's to maintain the connection. She explained that Anna, excited, had dashed down the stairs with Princess in tow and had, somehow, gotten her feet tangled and tumbled over the last few steps. The morning had been a whirlwind of pain medication, x-rays, and consultations, before they finally decided that she would need minor surgery on he ankle.

"I'm a horrible mother," Emily screeched, retreating to Paige's chest again.

"No, no, no," Paige repeated. "You know that's not true!"

"Why didn't they let me go back there with her?" Emily spat angrily. "She must be terrified back there, by herself!"

Paige knew that seeing her mother freaking out like that was probably the last thing that Anna needed. And she got the impression that the whole experience was like an adventure for Anna. Her experience with pediatrics doctors was that they were pretty good at keeping children from realizing the seriousness of what was going on with them. But she knew that Emily wasn't ready to hear any of that. Instead, she just reassured her that Anna was a pretty tough kid. "And you're going to be the first person she sees when she wakes up," Paige reminded her. "That's the important thing."

Emily wasn't totally convinced, but she needed to believe what Paige was telling her. And there was nothing she could do. She didn't know why she was being such a baby in front of Paige. She knew that Paige would never react like that. "I'm sorry," she said softly. She tried to push herself away from Paige's arms, but Paige pulled her back in. She pushed away a little more forcefully, because she needed to look into Paige's eyes for what she was about to say. "Will you come with me? When they let me see her?"

"Of course I will," Paige assured her. She wasn't sure that she would be allowed back, but, whatever it took, she would make sure that she was by Emily's side.

Emily nodded her head in thanks as she sank back in against Paige's chest. "I'm sorry," she repeated. "I'm being a big baby."

"Hey, no," Paige said, but it was little consolation. "You should've seen me when Wayne broke his wrist!"

"He broke his wrist?"

Emily could feel Paige nod in reply. "I was a wreck," Paige told her. "I took it a lot more seriously than he did!"

"And he's okay?" Emily cut to the chase. Knowing that Wayne had survived would give her confidence for what Anna was facing.

"Oh, yeah," Paige said confidently. "Kids are very resilient. Actually, the doctor said it was good to get it out of the way when he was young, because the body regenerates a lot better at an early age."

Emily scoffed. "I don't know about ' _good_.'"

"Yeah, not the word I would've chosen," Paige agreed.

"What's taking so long?"

Paige rubbed Emily's back and assured her that it wouldn't be much longer. Hanna walked in with a coffee in each hand and, seeing the two of them like that, made a quick excuse to leave. Emily, feeling bad that Hanna had rushed off before she could say thank you, stood quickly. "Um, I'm just going to go say a quick good-by."

"Oh, no, of course!" Paige squeezed her hand.

Emily caught up with Hanna in the corridor and thanked her for being her rock when she needed it. And for calling Paige. They hugged, and Hanna told her to call if there was anything she needed.

As she headed back into the waiting room, Emily pulled out her phone to check the time. She saw a few texts – nothing important. Hanna had taken care of keeping everyone, including Emily's parents, informed. She noticed a message from Paige just as she got back to the seat where Paige was sitting.

"Paige, I'm so sorry! You called me? I haven't been on my phone all day."

"No, don't be ridiculous!" Paige assured her. "You've had a lot more important things to worry about."

They were sitting next to each other at this point. Emily didn't reclaim her position in Paige's arms. She was feeling calmer, and she didn't want to take advantage. Still, they felt connected; in the way that friends don't have to be touching physically to be in touch emotionally.

"What were you calling about?"

"Oh, nothing. Just calling to say hi." Paige realized that Emily would probably listen to the message at some point, so she came clean. "And…" She cleared her throat and took a breath. "I think I said something about going to the zoo, or something…" Paige suddenly felt foolish for having taken Emily's comment from that day at the zoo seriously, and for bringing it up when Emily had so much else going on. "And, I know it's going to be a while before Anna's up and about."

"Are you kidding? Kids are resilient, remember?" Emily elbowed Paige in the ribs. "She'll be leaving us all in the dust!" Paige laughed politely, and they fell into silence. "I really would like to go, sometime, though," Emily said softly.

"It'd be fun," Paige agreed.

Emily linked arms with Paige and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Paige felt the warmth of Emily's lips long after Emily had settled back into position in her chair.

The kiss, although unexpected, didn't come as a shock to Paige. It seemed fitting. They were friends. That's how Emily thanked her friends.

After a while, the doors opened, and one of the residents who had been the first to look at Anna came through the door. There was no need to ask how the operation had gone. The smile on his face told it all. The operation was a success, and it turned out that the break wasn't as bad as it could have been, based on what they'd seen in the x-rays.

"When can I see her?"

"They're bringing her around now. I can take you back." The resident turned, slightly, towards the door.

"I want my friend to come with me," Emily stuttered.

The resident turned around. "I'm afraid it's family only, at this point."

Emily took Paige's hand. "She's family." Paige kept a poker face.

"Absolutely," the resident replied. "If you'll follow me this way, please."

* * *

As Paige had promised, Emily's face was the first thing that Anna saw when she opened her eyes. She was in good spirits, but still weak from the ordeal. Emily kissed her forehead and urged her to try to sleep. Paige, looking on, saw how strong Emily could be when she needed to be. She realized that she had underestimated Emily earlier, when she thought that Emily's fear would have been contagious, had she gone back with Anna for the procedure. Emily was solid as a rock.

All of a sudden, a gust of energy filled the room as Hanna turned up, arm in arm with a doctor. It was family only, but Emily wasn't surprised that Hanna had managed to talk her way back. She gave the doctor a quick hug and sent him on his way, taking her place next to Emily at Anna's bedside.

"Auntie Hanna," Anna rasped, her voice still weak from the anesthesia.

"Hi, Princess," Hanna whispered. It was the first time Paige had seen her so subdued.

"Wayne said you got him a banana split!"

Hanna shook her head in surprise. "Wayne needs to learn to keep his mouth shut," she said under her breath. Paige smiled and shrugged it off. Anna was curious.

"Huh?"

"Nothing, nothing," Hanna whispered. "Listen, I meant what I said, okay? I'm going to get you a banana split as soon as you get out of here, so you'd better save up an appetite!"

"Okay."

"And how big is that banana split going to be?"

"As big as my head."

"Twice as big!" Hanna promised. "And why are we getting banana splits?"

"Because we're the Banana Twins!"

"Who are we?"

"The Banana Twins." Anna, her voice still weak, pumped up the volume as best as she could.

"Who are the Banana Twins?" Hanna's voice was high-pitched, and her face looked confused, as if she were hearing this for the first time.

"We are." Anna touched her palms to her chest. "Anna Banana, and" - she extended her palms towards Hanna, who high-fived them - "Hanna Banana!"

"You know it!" Hanna leaned over the bed to give Anna a kiss and a hug. "I'm going to let you get some rest," she told her, gently stroking her hair. I don't want you falling asleep into your ice cream!" Anna couldn't help laughing at that mental image.

Hanna gave Emily a quick hug and asked how she was doing. "You get some rest, too," she said into her ear before she moved to hug Paige. "Thanks for taking care of them," she whispered. Paige nodded.

* * *

"You know, I was wondering whether you named Anna after her."

Emily nodded. "And Aria."

"Aria?" Paige looked confused.

"Yeah. Her name starts and ends with A, like Aria's, and it's 'Hanna' without out the H."

"Ohhhh! - Right!" Paige tilted her head back in understanding. A moment later, she asked, "Wait - nothing for Spencer?"

Emily chuckled. "Who do you think came up with the name 'Anna?'"

Emily took Paige to the other side of the curtain. There wasn't a patient in the other bed, so they had a moment of privacy. She hugged Paige warmly, kissing her on the cheek as the hug ended. "Thank you for coming," she said softly. "And for helping me calm down. Really," she said, fighting tears, "I don't know how I would've gotten through this without you."

Paige smiled shyly. "It almost sounds as if you're kicking me out."

Emily looked down, her hands idly playing with the zipper on Paige's hoodie. "I know you need to get back and take care of your family," she said sadly.

"No, no, no." Paige's voice was soft but firm. "My aunt's got it covered. And, besides,  _we're_  family, remember?"

Emily looked up at Paige with a grateful smile. She knew that she should have said that it was okay; that she would be okay, but she didn't want Paige to leave. And, worse, she knew Paige and her insecurities. She didn't want her to think that she was pushing her away.

* * *

Emily held onto Anna's hand and rubbed her forehead until she was asleep. The surgeon came through and gave Emily some more information and instructions before leaving them alone.

"Have you eaten anything?"

Emily shook her head. "Not really. I just nibbled on a few things from the machines, to try to calm my nerves. It didn't work, by the way," Emily said with a weak smile. She pointed at the uneaten tray of hospital food next to Anna's bed. "That rice pudding is looking pretty good to me, right now."

"Why don't I go find us up something?"

Emily opened her mouth and took a breath. She was planning to tell Paige that she didn't need to bother, but she swallowed those words instead. "Thank you," she said, admitting, "I'm really starving."

While Paige went out to find food, Emily pushed the armchair from the other half of the room, next to the empty bed on the other side of the curtain, over onto Anna's half of the room. It wouldn't be comfortable, but they would each have a soft place to stretch out. Emily breathed deeply and looked up at the ceiling tiles for a second or two, counting her blessings. Things could have been a lot worse. And, she knew, things were getting better.


	15. The Yo-yo Ride

_She_  
pulls the sheet of this dance  
across me  
then runs, staking  
the corners far out at sea.

–  _Jim Harrison, "Returning to Earth"_

* * *

"Beep beep!"

Emily couldn't believe what she was hearing.

She was running one of her favorite trails, taking it at a leisurely pace. She was out there to clear her head. She'd been through so much , with Anna's accident and Paige being... weird. She just wanted a little solitude and a little physical exertion. It didn't seem like too much to ask.

But, all of a sudden, she felt as if she were on a freeway in Los Angeles. Everybody had to be in a hurry. Especially the nutcase behind her. Emily couldn't believe the woman had actually said the words, "Beep beep!"

And she said them again!

The trail wasn't that narrow. There was plenty of room for whoever that Speed Racer was to pass her, if she were in such a hurry. Emily even leaned towards her right, closer to the mountainside on the edge of the trail, but the woman didn't close the distance. She was locked in on Emily's pace, waiting for her to move even farther and provide a larger passing lane. Finally, Emily moved so far to her right that she couldn't even run anymore, and, finally, the woman sped by. But she couldn't just pass Emily without making a snide comment.

"Get back to the nursing home, Granny!"

Emily's jaw dropped. She quickly started running again – faster than she normally did – to catch up. Paige could hear her footsteps, falling faster and faster onto the hard-packed dirt, and she looked back at her, with a mischievous smile plastered on her face. That only got Emily's adrenaline pumping even harder. But, as hard as she tried, she couldn't catch up with Paige. Paige was just too strong a runner. Emily thought that she could wear her down – just keep pace until Paige started to tire. After all, Emily had been an athlete in college, and had spent hours training in the pool. But so had Paige. Eventually, Emily started to fade. Only when Paige sensed her falling behind did she slow down.

"Wow!" Paige said, impressed. "You're an incredible runner!"

"And you're an incredible pain in the…" Emily stopped mid-sentence, and Paige raised an eyebrow, daring her to finish her thought. Instead, frustrated, Emily observed, "Damn it, Paige, aren't you even winded?"

"Winded?" Paige pretended to be confused. "Oh, that! I totally forgot that we were just running a minute ago!"

Emily slapped Paige on the shoulder, and Paige burst into uncontrollable laughter, causing Emily to slap her again. And again, the final slap landing considerably lower than the other two had. Emily's hand landed with a smack that shocked her and prompted a sharp gasp from Paige. "Shoot, Paige!" Emily comfortingly rubbed Paige's back, just north of where the errant slap had landed moments earlier. "I'm so sorry!"

Paige chuckled nervously. It wasn't the slap itself that had her rattled but the fact that Emily's hand had made contact in such a private place. She knew that Emily was kidding around, but that knowledge didn't change the sudden rush of blood that she was feeling. Emily's hand rubbing her back wasn't helping matters any. Paige felt the need to get out of there, before she lost control of herself. "I… um… It's fine, Emily," she said shyly.

"Paige…"

"No, seriously. You didn't hurt me. I was just a little surprised, that's all," Paige explained, starting to back away.

"Are you rushing off?"

"Oh, no, I…"

Paige clearly was.

"I just have to be somewhere," she explained with another nervous chuckle, still backing away. "I should probably get going.

"Paige – I'm  _sorry!_ "

"Seriously, Em."

"But, Paige…" Emily was almost shouting, as Paige backed farther and farther out of range. "I hardly see you anymore."

"Yeah," Paige said, not stopping or slowing her retreat. "I'll call you, sometime!"

It was true. Something had changed after that night in the hospital, and not for the better. Paige wasn't sure what it was. It may have been fear; fear that she was falling too hard. That morning, when she thought that Emily was ghosting her, was the most horrible time of her life. It was scary that someone had that much power over her; that her mood could rise or fall solely on the basis of what Emily did. It was scary to love someone that much.

Or perhaps it was that things were happening too fast. Everything was changing in her life. She had gone from a committed relationship with a man to having feelings for a woman; from living in a city to living in a small suburb. And it had to be confusing for Wayne as well. She couldn't be selfish and ignore his feelings. After all, he'd been through just as many changes; probably more.

Paige was starting to regret the fact that she hadn't made some bold gesture that night in the hospital; taken Emily by the hand, confessed her love for her, and sealed it with a kiss. Paige was never the kind of person to ease into the water, one toe at a time, to adjust to the coldness of it. No, she had to jump into the pool. Hesitating only gave room for fear to grow. Part of her knew that this was what was happening to her with Emily; the more she thought about it, the more she gave in to her fears.

If she had only said something or done something that night, she thought, would be all-in. But, of course, that would have been terribly inappropriate, and it would have meant taking advantage of Emily at her weakest point. But at least it would have been done.

* * *

"I feel like a yo-yo," Emily complained to Hanna, over their usual Saturday morning brew. "It's up and down, up and down. every time I see her. One time, it's up, and we get really close, and, next time, I'm at rock bottom."

"You think she's playing games with you."

Emily scowled at Hanna. "Paige isn't the kind of person who plays games," she shot back, annoyed. Hanna bristled at the venom in Emily's voice, raising her hands defensively. "She's not like that," Emily said more calmly. "She's just… I don't know what she is."

"Maybe she's not ready for a relationship," Hanna offered meekly.

"Then why did she go after Spencer at the Radley?" Emily's frustration was getting the best of her.

"I don't know!" Hanna shot back defensively. "Maybe she thought she was, but she realized that she wasn't. Or maybe she was just looking for a hook-up. You may be surprised to learn Em," (Hanna's voice was dripping with sarcasm.) "that not everyone who goes to a bar is looking for a relationship!"

"Then what's all this been about?" Emily demanded.

Hanna stood up and started gathering her things.

"Where are you going?" Emily whined.

"You obviously don't need me for this discussion," Hanna informed her. "You're doing fine all by yourself."

"Hanna!" Emily leaned across the table, stretching her arms towards Hanna, even though Hanna was beyond her reach. "I'm _sorry!"_ she pleaded. It was bad enough that she had blown things with Paige. She didn't need to be on the outs with Hanna, too. "I'm just…" Emily grunted. "I'm so frustrated!"

"Well, take it out on your vibrator," Hanna spouted, plopping her handbag on the table. "Not on me!"

"Hanna!" Emily lowered her voice and looked around, wondering who might have overheard. "That's not the kind of 'frustrated' I meant…"

Hanna sighed, trying to calm herself down so that she could help her best friend. "Look, Em. I get what you're saying. And I get that you're frustrated. But talking to me isn't going to fix anything. There's only one person who knows what's going on in Paige's mind." Hanna gestured towards the door, where Paige was standing.

It wasn't too surprising. Emily had chosen to meet at the Brew at that time on a Saturday because she knew that it was when Paige was likely to be there.

"You're upset because she's not being honest with you. Well, you need to start by being honest with her."

Hanna stood up again, this time giving Emily a hug. "I'll see you later." As they separated, she whispered, "Talk to her."

Emily took a deep breath and repeated Hanna's words, to psych herself up. " _Talk to her."_

Hanna swept Wayne up off of his feet and held him in the air as if he were an airplane. "Hey, Little Man!" Paige was confused by this, until Hanna looked at her, with a glare that told her that she was in trouble. Paige looked over to the booth that Hanna had vacated, where Emily was sitting. Hanna returned Wayne to the ground, kneeling beside him with her arm around his shoulder. "Do you like hot chocolate with marshmallows?" Wayne nodded his head eagerly. "Well, I happen to know the girl behind the counter, and I bet she would give us  _extra, extra, extra_  marshmallows!"

Wayne's eyes grew wide, and he looked up to check with Paige. She nodded, and Wayne cried out, "Yay," as he took Hanna's hand and headed towards the counter.

Paige, forgoing the coffee line, inched over to the table where Emily was siting. Emily eyed her all the way, clearly not happy with her. It was also clear that she wasn't going to make things easy for Paige. Paige's nervousness increased with every step.

"Hi, Emily," Paige said softly.

Emily managed a smile. "Hello, Paige." Her voice sounded weary.

"Is it okay for me to sit down?"

Emily gestured towards the empty seat with her hand. Paige sat, shoulders hunched, head close to the table, wishing she had a coffee cup to occupy her. She knew that they needed to start, but she didn't know what to say. She looked up, for a moment, to see Hanna, carrying a cup bigger than Paige had ever seen before, lead Wayne to a table on the other side of the dining area, far away from Emily's table.

Emily decided that she should take Hanna's advice and take the lead. "Okay, well. I'll start." Emily took a deep breath and alternated between looking down at her coffee and up into Paige's eyes. "I feel that I don't know where I stand with you, Paige. It seems to change from week to week. And I started to resent the fact that you're not being honest with me about your feelings, but I realized that I can't expect you to be honest with me when I'm not being honest with you." Emily paused to catch her breath and to see how Paige was taking the news. Paige seemed to be in some kind of self-protection mode, her face a mixture of dread and stony resolve. It wasn't making things easier for Emily.

"The fact is, Paige, I like you, but…"

"I like you, too," Paige blurted out a little too quickly, responding on reflex, and relieved at having said it.

Emily was caught completely off guard. She lost her train of thought – unable to remember any of her grievances, and unable to stop smiling at the thought that Paige did, in fact, like her. "Really?" she squeaked out in a high-pitched, girly voice. She regretted it immediately. She didn't want to let Paige off the hook so easily.

"Yes, I…" Paige cleared her throat. "Yes," she asserted firmly. She took both of Emily's hands. This time, it was clear that it wasn't a casual or platonic gesture. Emily's heart started thumping faster and harder, and she realized that her lips were moving. She wasn't sure why, but it was some kind of anticipatory response to whatever it was that Paige was going to say.

"Emily…"

 _Call me Em,_  Emily's mind begged, longing for the intimate connection of having Paige call her by that name.

"I know that I've made things confusing for you, but the fact is, things have been confusing for me, too. I mean, this is all new to me. Not the… Well, I guess I've known, on some level, that I was attracted to women for a little while, now, but I didn't know what that meant practically. And I'm the kind of person who likes to know exactly what I'm getting into before I go for it. You know, 'Measure twice, cut once.'"

Emily smiled to herself, avoiding the temptation to roll her eyes. Emily hated that expression. And, yet, it seemed perfectly suited to Paige. The evening with Paige and the jigsaw puzzle had shown her that. Emily had never seen anyone take over-analyzing to that level. It was kind of endearing, when the only stakes were an impossible to complete puzzle. But when Paige applied that same philosophy to a relationship, it wasn't so much endearing as it was a colossal pain in the...

Emily's mind switched panic-mode as she looked up, when it suddenly hit her that Paige had stopped talking. And Paige was leaning across the table, her eyes fluttering closed. All of a sudden, everything switched to slow motion – except Emily's heart. She felt Paige squeeze her hands, and then felt the slightest puff of air being brushed aside as Paige's lips softly, tenderly, pressed against hers. Paige's face tilted, and Emily's, operating beyond Emily's control, tilted in the opposite direction, as if Cupid himself were choreographing the kiss.

This was the kiss that Emily's life had been building towards; every other kiss, she realized, had been either a rehearsal or a colossal waste of time. Emily was yanked back into the present. Why was she wasting time thinking about those kisses? This kiss was everything. To hell with all the others. They were slowly being erased from her memory as Paige's kiss went on and on. Emily couldn't bear to think of it coming to an end.

It did, of course, end, but even the ending seemed perfect, as they both remained leaning across the table, both with their eyes closed, and both with their lips still slightly puckered. It was an opportunity to reflect on what had just happened –  _Did she really just kiss me? Was it really that incredible? Could it have been that great for her, as well?_

In the space of an instant, a million questions flew through Emily's brain, each with the same resounding, unmistakable answer:

_Yes!  
YES!  
_ __**YES!**


	16. After the Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you expressed surprise at how that last chapter ended... To be honest, I was surprised, too! :o
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Emily was still having a hard time convincing herself that what had just happened had actually happened; that it wasn't just a dream. Paige, too, was having a hard time believing it. But she had stayed true to herself. She had jumped in with both feet, before she had a chance to overthink things or to give in to fear.

She had no regrets.

"Wow." Emily was slow to open her eyes. She hadn't been kissed like that for a long time - if ever. Truth be told, it had been a while since she had been kissed at all.

It wasn't that the kiss was particularly passionate. The "Wow" factor came from the fact that the kiss was heartfelt; full of emotion. It was  _genuine_ , Emily thought.

Paige, with a half-smile, echoed Emily's assessment. "Wow."

Emily crooked her forehead and bit her lip, taking Paige's right hand in both of hers. She had told herself that she was going to be honest, so she couldn't just ignore the doubts that were going through her head. "Paige," she said sincerely, "I really need to know. I mean, you must've known that I had feelings for you."

"I… um…" Paige nodded somberly. "Yeah," she admitted. "I knew."

"How come you didn't make a move before? I mean, it took some time, but we got so close, and then, just when I thought we were on the verge of something you just... pulled away. And then, when I'm least expecting it, you just... plunge right in again."

Emily got a little distracted when she realized that she had just described great sex. But what was great in bed really sucked, for lack of a better word, in their relationship.

Emily half-expected Paige to turn the question of why she hadn't made a move back on her - why, if she had feelings, she didn't act on them, either. And she knew how she would have answered Paige: She  _had_  made a move. She had made several, in fact. It was pretty clear to both of them how Emily felt about Paige, as Paige herself had admitted. But, up until that conversation, Emily really didn't know how Paige felt.

Paige leaned back with a heavy exhale, and Emily, accommodatingly, released her hand. Paige ran it through her hair as she thought about how to say what she wanted to say. "This is all new to me, Em." Emily tried not to smile. She didn't want Paige to think that she took her words lightly. She was just thrilled to hear the name, "Em" come from Paige's lips.

"It wasn't just expressing my feelings to someone," Paige explained, "which, let's face it, with all the guys I dated, I never had to make the first move. But this was more than that. It was getting up the courage to admit to myself that I'm really going to go down this path in my life – and then getting up whatever courage is left to admit my feelings to someone else." Paige shook her head and laughed at herself, squeezing the intertwined fingers of her hands. "I know it shouldn't be such a big deal… I mean, hello, it's twenty-gay-teen, not 1950…"

Emily squeezed Paige's wrist and held on. "No, I get it, Paige." She leaned across the table and gave her a kiss. "This was a big step. I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't even think about that."

"Don't be sorry." Paige smiled softly. "I'm not." She took Emily's hand. "But, the other thing is... Well, even though I said I knew, I didn't always know. I mean, you can never really be sure, can you? Even when I thought I knew how you felt about me, let's face it, if I didn't hear from you, I'd start questioning everything. Like, that time when Anna was in the hospital? - I was sure I'd blown it completely, and scared you away."

Emily touched Paige's cheek, letting her hand linger there. "Well, you never have to worry about that anymore. Because now you know."

"Now I know," Paige said, taking Emily's hand from her cheek and giving it a squeeze. Somebody has to go first. And, if it's meant to be, the other person will meet her halfway.

Emily lowered her voice. "Have you talked to Wayne about it?" She didn't want to say or do anything that would give him the news before Paige had a chance to tell him.

"That's a funny story," Paige told her. "We kind of had a little discussion after he came home from school one day and told me that Anna told him that you liked me, the way men like women in the sappy movies that my aunt watches."

Emily's mouth dropped for a second, but she laughed it off. "Well," she said, raising her cardboard coffee cup as if for a toast, "way to go Anna!" Paige curled her fingers and raised her arm, having to pretend that she was toasting of Emily's cup, since she hadn't made it up to the counter to get a cup of her own. Emily laughed softly. "So, you really  _did_  know,"

"Well, yeah, sort of. I mean, I know kids tend to get things wrong, so I didn't put  _too_ much stock in that. But it was another piece of the puzzle."

Emily gasped in delight. "You know, that's exactly what I thought - when we were putting that puzzle together, I thought it's just like our relationship."

"Ooh!" Paige wiggled her eyebrows and gestured with her hands. "Relationship..."

* * *

Paige looked dreamily at the table where Hanna and Wayne were making a mess of his hot chocolate and his outfit. He wasn't usually a messy easter. He wasn't perfect, but Hanna seemed to bring it out of him. And the fun. Emily looked back to see what Paige was looking at. She smiled. "He's a great kid."

"He really is," Paige agreed.

"I should probably let you go rescue him from Hanna."

"Do you want to join us?" Paige stood, extending a hand to Emily.

"Sure," Emily agreed heartily. "I'm going to warm up this cup. Can I get you something?"

"Just a plain, black coffee would be great."

Emily rolled her eyes at the selection, patting Paige on the shoulder condescendingly. "We're going to have to work on that."

Emily headed to the counter, and Paige headed to the table where Wayne was sitting, grateful that Emily had given herself an excuse to let Paige have a moment with Wayne. Hanna similarly took the initiative to go and get some wet paper towels from the ladies' room, to wipe Wayne's face and hands.

"You like Ms. Emily, right, Wayne?"

Wayne nodded. "And Auntie Hanna!"

Paige could tell from the stains all around her son's mouth just how much he loved Auntie Hanna – and why.

"Well, you're probably going to be seeing a lot more of Ms. Emily."

"Because you like her?"

"Yes." Paige couldn't help smiling. "I like her."

"Like in the movies?"

"Yes," Paige chuckled. "I like her as in the movies."

"Auntie Hanna said you kissed her!" It wasn't an accusation; just an observation.

"Auntie Hanna should mind her own business!" Paige was smiling a lot and blushing a little. At least, knowing that the cat was out of the bag, Paige didn't have to worry about trying to hide her affection from her son. He was actually pretty nonchalant about the whole thing – whether it was the two of them holding hands under the table or Emily resting her head on Paige's shoulders. Hanna was the one who was emotional over it, oohing and aahing, looking at the two of them as if she were watching one of those movies that Aunt Miriam loves so much.

* * *

Emily began to see a different Paige McCullers. Paige was more confident; more take-charge. She had been paying attention when Spencer told her that Emily liked ballsy women, so she got over her initial insecurities and let her true nature come out. Emily liked being with someone who could make a firm decision; who could get her out of her shell; who didn't shrink back when they got bad service or when someone tried to jump in front of them in line. Paige was never obnoxious about it, but she had a way of asserting herself that made the other person want to do the right thing.

And there was no denying that it felt good walking down the sidewalk arm in arm with a strong, confident woman like that. It made Emily feel confident, too. She hadn't always felt that way in her relationships.

It was new, in a sense, for Paige, too, and not just the fact that she was dating a woman. Rosewood was different than Philadelphia. Even though Philadelphia was a large city, and there were neighborhoods where differences were celebrated, in many parts of the city, there were repercussions – stares at best and bullying at worst – for same-sex couples. Paige wasn't used to seeing people out and proud. But Rosewood, even though it was a small town, wasn't small-minded. They had long ago gotten over stigmatizing gays and lesbians. Emily herself had been at the forefront of the change in attitudes. She was a star athlete, so everybody in town knew her. And, because she was a star athlete, they were able to look past the fact that she was a lesbian, eventually coming to the point of realizing that there was nothing wrong with who she was; that there was actually nothing that they needed to look past. Sometimes, those dynamics work better in a small town, where everybody knows everybody.

Paige's confidence and cockiness showed up in other ways, once she and Emily began training together. That's when Emily really began to see that everything was a competition with Paige. Emily even got a new perspective on that night when they did the jigsaw puzzle together. At the time, she thought that Paige was driven and focused, which was true, of course. Also true was the fact that Paige had the need to do better than whoever else was involved; the "winning isn't everything, it's the only thing" mentality. Had Emily, herself, been more competitive, it probably would have led to some clashes between them. But that wasn't Emily's nature. Even when she was competing, she did it for the fun of it, competing against herself moreso than against her rivals. Being the best that she could be was more important to her than being better than everyone else.

"Wow," Emily said as she and Paige walked off a particularly intense run. "If you were as good at swimming as you were at running, I'm glad that I never had to compete against you."

"I think you'll find that I'm equally awesome in and out of the pool!" Emily rolled her eyes, smiling gamely at both Paige's cockiness and her innuendo. "We should still race sometime."

"Well," Emily said, flexing her shoulder, "I'm afraid I wouldn't be much competition now, after my injury." There was no regret in her tone. Emily had come to terms with her injury years before. It was a setback, but it wasn't fatal. It didn't derail her dreams; it only redirected them. "But if we had competed before I got hurt, I would've given you a run for your money." Paige kind of chuckled at the remark, and Emily punched her in the shoulder. "What?" Emily protested. "I'm serious! I used to be pretty good back in high school, you know."

"I know," Paige said softly. It seemed that there was more to the story.

"What do you mean, you know?" Emily challenged.

Paige stopped in her tracks. "I've seen your tapes. I've seen your freestyle technique. It was… pretty amazing."

Emily laughed, certain that Paige was putting her own. Paige just shrugged her shoulders. "You've seen my tapes?" Paige nodded. "You're messing with me!"

"Emily, I watched your tapes for  _hours_ , trying to break down your stroke. It was…" Paige shook her head in reflection and looked skyward. "… a thing of beauty."

"Yeah?" Emily said suggestively, backing Paige against the fence surrounding the track where they had been racing. "You liked what you saw?" Her lips were so close that they were almost touching Paige's.

Paige's voice was soft and deep. "I think that's what turned me gay!"

Emily pinched Paige's stomach for that remark, and then put her arms around Paige's waist, giving her a friendly kiss.

Paige put her arms around Emily and rocked her gently from side to side. "Didn't you study of other swimmers?" Paige didn't mention her own name, not wanting to sound egoistic, but part of her wished that Emily could see how good she was in the water.

Emily sighed softly and shook her head. "I wasn't as hardcore about swimming as the rest of the team." She shrugged her left shoulder. "I just swam because I loved swimming. And, you know, because I thought it might get me a scholarship."

"Oh, God." Paige shook her head.

"What?" Emily was concerned, not knowing what she had said.

"You were, like, one of those annoying people who aces all her classes and says," – Paige spoke in the breathy, high-pitched accent of an Antebellum Southern belle, "'Why, I don't know how I could have aced all my exams, when I never had a spare moment to study!'"

Emily pushed Paige off of her. "Oh, be quiet!" The self-conscious smile on her face, though, told Paige that her suspicions were true.

Emily grew short of breath, all of a sudden wondering how Paige's competitiveness and dominating spirit translated into the bedroom. She knew, of course, that she had no business thinking about that, especially not so early in their relationship. But she was having a hard time convincing the butterflies in her stomach that.

Paige pulled herself back in and gave Emily a kiss. "It's okay," she assured her. "I love you, anyway."

Emily was a little shocked by those words, especially coming on the heels of her thoughts about it being too soon. Because the words had caught her off guard, she almost echoed them without thinking, just on reflex. She stopped herself, though, realizing that those three words shouldn't be said casually or automatically, without thought. Even though Paige had sounded casual when she said them, Emily knew Paige well enough to know that she hadn't said them without thinking it through.

Paige didn't looked panicked or disappointed that Emily hadn't said anything back. She was smiling, and she seemed comfortable; secure. She was confident in what she had said, whether or not Emily's feelings were on the same level. It was that confidence and self-assuredness that Emily loved about Paige.

Emily smiled demurely. She kissed Paige back, more intensely, with her hand behind Paige's head. "I love you, too," she confessed, knowing that she meant it, and feeling somewhat liberated by the opportunity to say it.

She and Paige stood looking into each other's eyes for a few more moments before they set off, hand in hand, towards the showers.

"I really would like to see some of your swimming videos, though," Emily admitted softly, knowing how much that meant to Paige, for Emily to see what she was capable of in the pool.

Paige squeezed her hand. "I think that can be arranged!"


	17. Not-so-smooth Sailing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This first part is a continuation of the last chapter, after a reviewer asked an interesting and valid question about when Paige realized that she'd seen Emily's swimming videos...
> 
> Thanks for reading! Your reviews help more than you know! :)

\"So, how long have you been carrying around this little secret?"

Emily's question came after they had showered and dressed - in separate stalls, of course - and were walking back home. It was obvious from her tone that she was kidding, but the question still made Paige nervous.

"Secret? What secret?" Paige was trying not to panic. She didn't know what secret Emily was referring to, and she was trying not to jump to conclusions.

"You know..." Emily said, her voice flirty. She knocked shoulders with Paige. "That you used to watch videos of me..."

Paige winced. "You make it sound as if I was watching peephole videos of you in the locker room," she protested. "I was studying your swimming technique..."

Emily faked a pout. "And that's all it was? You were only interested in my technique?"

"I was kind of... hardcore back then."

Emily smirked. "As opposed to now?"

Paige smiled. "Touché... No, but, I mean, I studied hours and hours of video, trying to learn all I could; to get any advantage I could. Although..." Paige paused and bit her lip. "If I had been more aware of my sexuality at the time, I'm sure I would've studied your video with... other reasons in mind."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Nice save!"

Paige shrugged. "Seriously, though."

Emily patted Paige's shoulder condescendingly. "Yeah, whatever. Anyway, so, back to my  **question**..." - that word came out a lot louder, as a playful rebuke to Paige for evading her question - "... how long have you been sitting on that little secret?"

Paige let out a deep sigh. "I mean, as I said, I watched  _tons_  of video, from all over the country. But that was way back in high school; I hadn't thought about it in years. It was only when we started talking about swimming and you told me about your shoulder that it all started to come together in my mind."

"Huh..." Emily could see what Paige was saying. If she really watched that many hours of video, it made sense that she didn't remember the swimmers' names. "But, you remember watching my videos?"

"Well, yeah. Your accident really got me thinking, you know? Like, what would I do if something like that happened to me, or, you know, how much importance should I give to swimming in my life?" Emily nodded. She understood. She had asked herself those questions and many more.

"Anyway, I... I guess I didn't want you to know how much of a swim-geek I was, so..."

"You didn't?"

"Yeah. It's embarrassing. I mean, I was so full-on into swimming, and it didn't get me anywhere."

Emily snickered. "It got you to Stanford... It got you to the nationals..."

Paige lowered her head. She could hear her father's voice in her head. "Yeah, but... It didn't get me to the Olympics. It didn't get me to the pros." Emily gave Paige's hand a squeeze and rubbed her shoulder. "Sorry," Paige said, forcing a smile. "That's my Dad talking."

Emily looked at Paige with a sad smile. "Well, excuse me for saying this, but your dad's an idiot."

* * *

Paige took a slow walk up the stairs in the mid-afternoon, to check on Wayne. It was too quiet in his room. Ordinarily, he would have been up from his nap, and, ordinarily, once he got up, he made it quite obvious that he was awake by bouncing off of the walls.

"Wayne?" She knocked and slowly pushed his door open. She found him in the corner, sitting on the floor, hugging his knees. It wasn't a fetal position, but it was unquestionably defensive. She stood in the doorway. "Wayne, are you okay?"

Wayne nodded. His posture and his non-verbal response told a different story, though.

"Do you feel sick?"

Wayne shook his head. It was a stupid question; that wasn't the way that Wayne behaved when he was sick. But Paige was hesitant to bring up what she assumed was the real reason for his mood.

"Do you feel sad?"

Wayne shrugged his shoulders. Paige went into the room, walking slowly, as if approaching a frightened animal that she didn't want to throw into a panic.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on in your head?"

Wayne shrugged his shoulders again.

"It's okay to be sad, Sport. But sometimes, it makes you better when you talk about it."

Wayne sat still. Paige got on the floor next to him, with her knees bent in front of her and her arms resting on them, in a more open, inviting pose. She cut to the chase. "Does this have to do with me and Ms. Emily?" Wayne shrugged. "You know I'm not going to be angry with you if you tell me how you feel, Hon." She ran her fingers through his hair. He just kept staring straight in front of him.

Paige took a deep breath. "Wayne," she said calmly, "Ms. Emily loves you very much, but she's not going to take the place of your dad."

Wayne turned to look at her, his mouth open in surprise.

"Whatever happens, your father..." Paige paused for a second, not sure what to say. She didn't want to say that his father would be a part of his life, because Trevor had certainly shown no interest that. Since they fled to Rosewood, Trevor had made no attempt to get in touch with Wayne, or even to find out how he was doing. It almost seemed as if this were some kind of hall pass for him, giving him the opportunity, once again, to be single, free and unencumbered.

Paige really didn't know when it had all gone wrong. Trevor had always wanted a son, and he had been a great father, in the beginning. It didn't make sense for him to punish Wayne because of her sexual orientation. It seemed that the only interest that Trevor still had in Wayne was that no son of his would be raised by a lesbian.

Paige shuddered at the implications. Trevor couldn't stop her from raising Wayne, so did he no longer consider Wayne his son?

"... your father will always be your father," she concluded.

"He will?"

Paige hugged her son to her chest. "Of course he will, Sweetheart."

Wayne seemed to calm down in his mother's arms. She kissed the top of his head and asked, "Do you want to call him?" She was pretty sure that Trevor wouldn't pick up a call from her phone, but, at least, Wayne could leave him a message, to let him know that he still loved him.

Wayne was silent for a few seconds before he pushed himself away. "No!" he said definitively.

Paige didn't want to push him. "Okay, Hon. But are you sure?"

Wayne nodded, with a deep scowl. "He was very mean to you, Mommy."

"Yes, he was," Paige said, more to acknowledge that Wayne's feelings were valid than to make it about her. "But, you know, at some point, we have to forgive him for that."

"Did he say sorry?"

"Well," Paige said slowly, "Sometimes, we have to forgive people even if they're not sorry. You see, if we don't forgive someone, we might think we're hurting that person, but, in reality, we're only hurting ourselves."

Wayne was on the verge of tears. He didn't really know what his mother was saying, but he knew that he didn't want to speak to his father. "Mommy, I don't want to talk to Daddy."

"it's okay," Paige said, pulling him close again, feeling his distress. "You don't have to talk to him." She put some distance between them, to look him in the eye. "But I really want you to try to forgive him, okay?"

Wayne nodded and made his way back to his mother's chest.

"Mommy, why was Daddy so angry?"

Paige took a deep breath. She wasn't ready for this conversation, but she wasn't going to lie to her son. "Honey, your daddy was upset because he found out that I like women."

"But it's okay for women to like women," Wayne pointed out. "You said so!"

"Yes, Honey, that's true. But not everybody understands that."

Wayne looked confused.

"It's like... Well, remember when we first moved to Rosewood, and people made fun of the way that you talked?" Paige really didn't want to bring up that memory, but it was the best way that she could think of to explain it.

"They were bullies!"

Paige nodded. "Yes, they were."

"Is Daddy a bully?"

"No," Paige said reassuringly, "your father's not a bully." She paused, tightening her lips as she thought. "I guess, when we get upset, we're really not thinking clearly. And when we're not thinking clearly, anyone can be a bully."

"He was upset because you liked somebody else?"

"No!" Paige said forcefully. In a calmer tone, she said, "Wayne, I never thought about a woman, or even another man, when your father and I were married. It was only after we ended the marriage that I decided to move on."

Wayne crinkled his forehead. "Mommy, would you move on with Anna if I stopped being your son?"

On one level, the question didn't make sense. Wayne would never stop being her son. But, on another level, it made perfect sense. Wayne needed to know that his mother wouldn't move on from him the way that she moved on from Trevor. Or, perhaps he needed to know that she wouldn't move on from him the way that Trevor had.

"Wayne," Paige said calmly, "no matter what happens, you're always going to be my son. You know that your daddy and I had talked about having more children, but that wouldn't mean that we would loved you any less. It would only mean that we would have a bigger family to love, and more love for all of us to share. Do you understand?" Wayne nodded. "Because, a family can have lots of brothers and sisters. But it can only have one set of parents." Paige wanted to be sure that Wayne was clear on that point. "That's why I would never have started to like another person while your father and I were together."

Wayne looked confused, and he opened his mouth to say something about the one set of spouses thing, but he caught himself. A secret was a secret, and he knew better than to tell a secret. Instead, he simply said, "Okay, Mommy."

"Okay," Paige echoed, kissing the top of his head again. She rubbed his shoulder. "Honey, if you ever feel sad about this again, or if you want to call your daddy, or if anything's going on, you can tell me, okay?"

"Okay."

"And, if you don't want to talk to me, we can find someone for you to talk to, okay?"

"Like therapy?"

Paige laughed. "How do you know about therapy?"

"Because you said therapy is stupid!"

Paige laughed again, remembering what he was referring to. "I said that therapy for a  _dog_  is stupid," she pointed out. "Not for a human being." Paige leaned in to tell Wayne a secret. "And, just between you and me, I might need to rethink my opinion about therapy for dogs."

* * *

It had been somewhat easier for Emily to share the news with Anna than it had been for Paige to tell Wayne. After all, Emily had always been a single parent. That was her choice. Anna was used to seeing her mother get ready for dates or having her invite someone over for dinner.

Still, it wasn't quite the same with Paige as it had been with the other women Emily dated. She had never dated anyone with a child before. And, even though Anna and Wayne were friends, Emily and Paige worried how things would play out on their next playdate.

Paige suggested that they ease their children back into the swing by arranging a playdate somewhere non-threatening; somewhere public; somewhere where they wouldn't be under constant pressure to interact with each other. Somewhere like Chuck E. Cheese's.

They were silent in the backseat of Paige's car as she drove to the place. It was unusual for them, but not too unexpected, given the circumstances. Paige and Emily weren't worried.

There was a reasonable number of people there, just after lunchtime on a midweek afternoon. It wasn't overcrowded or overwhelming, but there were other children there for them to interact with. It was a non-threatening way to get them together. Paige and Emily turned them loose, sat back, and watched what developed with a careful eye, ready to intervene if things went south.

It was interesting to watch, over the course of about a half hour, how they went from chasing off in opposite directions to getting closer to each other's orbits and, finally, playing together. At the outset, even though they were apart, they kept visually checking in on each other, seeing what the other was up to and wanting to try it, too. It went from waiting for the other person to finish at a game and going over to try it to going over and actively watching the other person play the game to playing games together.

By the time their parents called them back to the table for pizza, they were back to their old selves, as though there had never been a chasm between them.

After lunch, Paige and Emily joined them in the games. At first, Anna and Wayne stuck to their parents – Wayne tugging Paige by the hand to show her his favorite game and Anna doing the same with Emily – but, without any prodding from their parents, the kids involved the other's parents as well. Wayne wanted to show Emily what he was doing, and Anna had things that she wanted to share with Paige. That didn't make them a family, of course, but it didn't hurt. It was certainly a step in the right direction.

And then there was The Paige Effect. That's what Emily called it. Paige was like a magnet for children; something about her energy just drew them to her. Whenever she noticed a child, out of the corner of her eye, looking on at the game she was playing with Wayne and Anna, she would shoot that child a desperate look and motion him or her over, with a cry of "Help me!" She often ended up standing behind the child, her hands on the child's hands, helping to whack the mole or roll the skeeball or do whatever it was that they were doing. Paige's competitiveness came out, but in a different way. She was competitive  _for_ the kids, not  _versus_ them. She wanted to see them win. And she had no favorites; she never chose Wayne over Anna – or either of them over any of the other children she brought into their games.

Emily could tell that Paige was a great teacher.

When the robotic band started to play, Paige organized the children into a ramshackle parade, following Chuck E. Cheese himself over to the stage area where she sang along and danced with them, even getting their reluctant mommies into the act. When the show was over and the kids came by to give her their thank-yous and good-byes, she had a hug for each of them and greeted them all by name. It was the same with each child: She looked up to the ceiling, as if deep in thought, pointed at the child as her head came down, and said the name. She did the same when it was Wayne and Anna's turn, intentionally mangling their names as if she'd forgotten them. She hugged both of them together, kissing them both on top of their heads, grateful that they were getting along.

When everyone was buckled into a seat, Paige, her hands resting on the steering wheel, let out an exhausted and relieved, "Whoo!" But she was smiling as if she had won the lottery.

Emily leaned across the console and kissed her cheek. "You had fun today," she observed.

Paige nodded. "It felt good to be around kids again."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Paige started the car up and looked over her shoulder as she backed out of the parking space. "I really missed it. I can't wait to get back into the classroom."

"I can tell!" Paige's smile was contagious. It had landed on Emily's face.

There was a steady drone from the backseat of Wayne and Anna, chattering back and forth to each other. It had been a good day for them. For all of them. Paige and Emily were looking forward to many more good days ahead.

* * *

"Mommy!"

Paige heard the shrill voice coming from Emily's living room and backed away from Emily's lips. Frustrated, she ran her fingers through her hair.

The poor puzzle on Emily's table sat neglected, as Paige and Emily found other ways to occupy their time during the children's playdates.

"I love Anna to bits," Paige said, "but I swear, she has the worst timing!"

Emily pulled Paige back onto her lips, hoping to pull her back into the moment. "They'll work it out, whatever it is. Trust me," she added between kisses, "that's not the emergency call."

"Are you sure?"

Emily nodded and kissed Paige harder. "I know my kid!"

"Mommy!_" This time, the voice was more shrill and sustained. This time, Emily was frustrated.

"What?" she shouted, pushing her hair away from her face.

"We need help!" Anna yelled.

Emily blew out a puff of air and stood up. "You know what? It's just faster," she said as she headed to the living room. Paige joined her, taking her hand as they went.

They found the children sitting in front of a game of Candyland, with the cards strewn everywhere. "What is it, Honey? What do you need?" Emily was trying not to sound impatient, but she was rushing her words.

Anna looked up at her with the face of an angel. "Mommy, would you play with us?"

Emily laughed, her heart turning to butter. She looked a Paige who, with a huge smile, hugged her from the side. Soon, they were all sitting on the floor in the living room, working their way around the Candyland board.

Emily looked over at Paige to apologize for the detour that their night had taken, but she could see that she didn't need to. Paige's eyes were as big as the smile on her face. Emily understood completely. Kids grow up way too fast. They needed to cherish those times when their children still wanted to play with them.


	18. A Day Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - Please excuse me while I geek out over my hometown for a minute... :)
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3

"Where are we going?" Emily asked with an excited smile as Paige walked her out to the car.

"Philadelphia," Paige replied, looking just as eager.

"Oh!" Emily's head snapped back a little in surprise.

"Is that a problem?"

"No, no! No, not at all. I just thought you were going to say, 'It's a surprise!' or something, and be all mysterious."

Paige chuckled. "Well, it would be a hard surprise to maintain, unless I blindfolded you all the way up I-95."

"I guess."

Emily smiled to herself. This wasn't the first time that a woman had tried to impress her by showing her "The City." But, growing up in Rosewood, the Philly suburbs, she knew all about Philadelphia - from field trips to the Franklin Institute and Independence Mall to 5K runs on the Parkway that ended with the obligatory "Rocky Run" up the Art Museum steps. And, of course, when she got older, "Terror Behind the Walls" at the Eastern State Penitentiary, sneaking into clubs with fake IDs, and the senior-year cruise on the Delaware.

"Now, I know," Paige said, with a hint of ennui, "that you probably think you know all about Philadelphia because you grew up in the suburbs." Emily could hear the condescension in the way that Paige said the word. "You've done it all - the Rocky steps, the Franklin Institute, the field trips to the Liberty Bell, rollerblading down East River Drive, hitting the clubs with your fake IDs..."

Emily's jaw dropped. "Wow. That's... uncanny. Did you read my mind?"

Paige rolled her eyes. "I've lived in Philadelphia all my life," she said. "I've seen you suburbanites all my life. I've seen them herded out of and onto school buses or taking pictures from the tour buses, and it's like - hello! This is my neighborhood! - why are there people taking historical tours through my backyard?"

"You really hate the suburbs, don't you?"

Paige looked over at Emily with a smile. "Nah, I love you guys. Well,  _us_  guys, I guess. I guess I'm a suburbanite, now." She rolled her eyes playfully. "I'm just saying, even though you grew up in the greater metropolitan area, there's a lot more to my Philadelphia than you might think." Paige looked at Emily, who was smiling politely. "Don't believe me?"

"I'm sure there is," Emily conceded, although she secretly had her doubts.

"Well, I'll tell you what." Paige's eyes were dancing with excitement. It was contagious; it made Emily's face light up, too. "You wanted a surprise? How about I give you five surprises?"

"Okay," Emily said, giggling with anticipation, with no clue what Paige had up her sleeve.

"If I can't find five things to surprise you in Philadelphia, then I lose."

Emily laughed. She held out her hand for Paige to shake, sealing the bet. She knew how much Paige hated losing - at anything - so she was pretty sure that she would get her five surprises. That thought made her tingly all over. She gave Paige a kiss.

"What's that for? Are you trying to console me?"

"No," Emily replied. "I'm pretty sure you're going to surprise me. I know how much you hate losing."

"I wouldn't say  _hate_ ," Paige said with a wink. "It doesn't happen often enough for me to hate it. Maybe if I lost more often..." Emily could only roll her eyes at Paige's cockiness.

* * *

Paige parked in a lot in South Philly and handed Emily a green plastic card with a chip in it. Emily looked it over, confused, then looked at Paige, still confused. "It's strictly our two feet and public transit from here on out," Paige explained.

"O... kay..."

Emily still didn't quite get it.

"That's your Septa key card," Paige explained. "Of course, when  _you_  used to come to Philadelphia, they were still using tokens."

"Ohhhhhh!" Emily said excitedly. "Yeah, I'd heard these were coming..."

"Well, welcome to the twenty-first century," Paige said, offering a high five. "And, I guess, that's surprise number one."

Emily nodded.  _Well played..._

Paige took Emily's hand and led her across the street. "So, what's your favorite cheesesteak?"

"Geno's!" Emily said, with no hesitation. "Definitely Geno's." Paige scoffed. "Don't tell me, you're a Pat's girl?"

"Oh, God, no," Paige said dismissively. They were walking past a shabby looking, brick-red stucco building that seemed like the kind of place where you would go if you wanted food poisoning. The sign out front said, "John's Roast Pork," and it featured a pig with a checkered napkin around his neck, looking very content about what he had just eaten. It was an odd mascot for a restaurant that featured pork: A pig who, apparently, took great delight in eating other pigs.

"That's an interesting choice for a mascot," Emily remarked, pointing to the pig on the sign. Paige just smiled and pulled Emily in the direction of the restaurant. "Paige!" Emily protested, "I was only joking!"

Paige, though, was serious. She held open the door and ushered Emily inside. The inside was pretty much what Emily would have expected based on the outside. There was a high, dimpled metal counter between the customers and the kitchen. "Kitchen" was a bit of an overstatement. It was a narrow passageway with a grill, a prep table, and a soda dispenser. The menu was posted above the grill, on the front part of the metal box that encased the exhaust fans and the grease filters that looked to have been doing their job since the place opened, back in 1930. Not that the restaurant looked unsanitary. On the contrary, it was immaculate. It just had a well-worn look; kind of rustic.

Paige ordered a cheesesteak, some fries, and two glasses of Pepsi. When the food was ready, she led Emily to a covered seating area outside the service area. "Now this," she said authoritatively, "is the best cheesesteak in Philadelphia."

Emily eyed the sandwich skeptically. How different, she thought, could a cheesesteak be? In reality, her preference of Geno's over Pat's was more about style than about taste. A cheesesteak was a cheesesteak.

Paige leaned back in her chair and gestured towards the sandwich with her hand. Emily obligingly picked up the sandwich. "I guess this is where my mind gets blown," she teased, and took a bite. "Wow!" she said approvingly. "Oh... Wow!" It wasn't earth-shattering or mind-blowing, but it was definitely the best cheesesteak she had ever tasted.

"Right?"

Emily chuckled. "I was  _not_  expecting..." She stopped abruptly and put her index finger in the air when it hit her, nodding her head. "Surprise number two," she conceded.

Paige smiled. "This is going to be easy."

After lunch, they caught a bus which took them to the subway, which they rode up to Race and Vine. Emily smiled to herself. She might not know South Philly that well, but she and her friends went to Center City all the time. She knew exactly what they were in store for as Paige led them down Race Street - the Academy of Fine Arts, the Basilica, Logan Square, the Franklin Institute, the Free Library, Academy of Natural Sciences. She wasn't sure what Paige had in store, but she felt bad that she would have to admit to her that, yes, she was already familiar with those places.

As they neared the Basilica, Paige said, "Now, everybody who comes to Philadelphia wants a picture under the LOVE sculpture, right?" Emily nodded. "But we're going to get our picture taken under this one." Paige pointed across the street, where an "AMOR" sculpture, in the same style and color scheme, was sitting.

"When did they put this up?"

"It was right around the time when they were renovating LOVE park," Paige explained. "You haven't seen it before?"

Emily smiled, getting Paige's point. "And I thought I knew Center City pretty well!"

"Well, it's always changing. Have you seen that new pedestrian plaza over by the Free Library?"

"Oh! I read about that! But, no," she admitted, "I haven't seen it. Surprise number four?" (The "AMOR" sculpture was number three.)

Paige shook her head. "I won't even count that one, since you already knew about it. But we can go see it anyway. It's definitely worth the detour."

After they walked around Logan Square and the Parkway for a while, Paige led Emily back to Sister Cities Park, where they grabbed a couple of lemonades and rested their legs.

"You know what I've always wanted to do?" Emily said, smiling with her eyes. "I've always wanted to go ice skating at City Hall. Well, I mean... Not always. But ever since they redid that whole..."

"Dilworth Plaza?" Emily nodded. Paige took a sip of her lemonade. "We definitely have to take the kids in the winter. Do the whole thing, you know - the organ at Wanamakers, the Christmas video in the Comcast Building..."

Emily laughed, swiping her finger across Paige's cheek. "You mean, all the tourist-y stuff?"

Paige shrugged her shoulders with a shy smile. "What can I say? I'm a suburbanite, now."

They sat and chilled in the café for a few minutes after they finished their drinks, enjoying each other's company. Paige squeezed Emily's hand. "Ready?"

"Ready!"

They headed south, past the Academy of Natural Sciences, just past Market Street, and headed west. "Have you ever been here?" Paige asked, pointing to an old historic church. Emily shook her head. Emily wasn't even sure what she was looking at. It was part of a complex, and they rounded the corner onto 19th Street where a sign announced it as the Mūtter Museum of the College of Physicians. "You've never been here?" Emily shook her head again. "Never heard of it?"

"Well, no. But, to be fair, there have to be a few dozen museums in Philadelphia."

"Yeah," Paige said with a smirk. "But this one's kind of famous."

A large banner out front read, "Disturbingly Informative." The slogan could not have been more accurate. The museum showcased medical oddities and artifacts; skulls, skeleton, a plaster cast of the first recorded conjoined twins. There was something eerily captivating about it all. Emily was voraciously reading all of the legends in front of the displays as they moved from room to room.

"Wow. I could spend all day here," she said, as they prepared to leave.

"I always tell people that, whatever you expect to find in a medical museum, you're going to be surprised here."

"You're not lying," Emily said, taking Paige's arm. She was a little worn out from all of the exhibits, and she rested her head on Paige's shoulder.

"Are you about ready for dinner?" Paige asked.

"Yeah," Emily nodded. "And we should probably check in with Hanna."

"Good idea."

They found a quiet spot where they could make a phone call, and Emily punched in Hanna's number. They were both relieved, although not surprised, to hear that the kids were fine, getting along with each other and with Hanna, and about to grab some dinner themselves.

Paige took Emily down a maze of streets. After a while, Emily stopped trying to figure out where they were. Paige stopped in the middle of a block and looked perplexed. "Huh..."

"What's wrong?"

"This used to be Byblos," Paige said, "Great Mediterranean food. But... Huh..."

"Well, I guess that's how quickly things change in the City," Emily said philosophically.

Paige looked stuck. She didn't seem to have a plan B. Emily took her hand. "Why don't you let me surprise you this time?" She looked at Paige with a smile that no one could say no to.

Paige smiled back. "Lead the way!" As Emily led the way, Paige added, "But, don't worry. I've still got a fifth surprise up my sleeve."

Emily took them to an Italian restaurant by Rittenhouse Square, explaining that Spencer had taken the girls there to celebrate, when she made partner. "The attorneys from her firm go there all the time," she explained, adding, "but don't worry. It's affordable!"

Paige looked over the menu. "I'm impressed!" She gave Emily's hand a squeeze. "Great choice."

Emily gave her a wink. "We make a good team, remember?"

Following dinner, they walked around Rittenhouse a bit, enjoying the cool, moonlit night. "Well, are you ready for number five?"

Emily nodded. "I can't wait."

They headed up to Chestnut Street. "How many statues of Ben Franklin do you think there are in Philadelphia?"

Emily snorted. " _Too_  many! God, he's everywhere! Sometimes, I wish he'd just stayed in Boston!"

Paige gasped melodramatically. "Bite your tongue!" She smashed her shoulder against Emily's. Paige stopped in front of Liberty Place. "Have you ever been to the observation deck?"

Emily's eyes widened. "No, but I've always wanted to. Is that what we're doing?" Paige reached into her bag and pulled out two tickets, brandishing them for Emily. Emily clapped her hands. "Yay!"

Once they were in the lobby, Paige pointed out a pair of massively oversized shoes in the waiting area for the observation deck. "Guess whose those are," she said.

"Big Ben's?" Emily said derisively. Paige nodded. "He really is everywhere, isn't he?"

"You say that as if it's a bad thing!"

They rode the elevator, with its changing images of the Philadelphia area as seen from the top of Liberty Place. The images were taken at different times of the day, to encourage people to visit more than once, so that they could enjoy the changing views.

Emily's stomach dropped as the elevator sped towards the top, and she tightened her grip on Paige's arm. "Is this a good time to tell you that I'm a little bit afraid of heights?"

"Well," Paige said in a soothing tone, "that's one of the reasons that nighttime is my favorite time to do the observatory. It doesn't look quite so much as if you're suspended 57 floors above the city."

"Ugh! God, Paige! Did you really have to say 57 floors?"

At the top floor, Paige pointed out Ben Franklin's giant head, complete with his glasses. It was meant to look as if his body spanned the entire 57-story height. "Surprise number five?"

"Surprise number five!"

The tickets to the observation deck were timed, so that it didn't get too crowded. But, still, on a Saturday night, there were a lot of people there. It was a shame, because it was so romantic, beneath the moon and the stars and above the lights of the city. It would have been a perfect place for some long, romantic kisses, if there hadn't been so many people around. But there were, so they made the best of it. They found a few quiet corners, and Emily stole a kiss or two whenever she could.

* * *

"Well?" Paige's face was all aglow. "What do you think of my city?"

Emily paused for a second, looking for just the right word. "Surprising," she said, excitedly. "And, just... perfect." She gave Paige a kiss. "Really, the whole day was perfect. Thank you."

On the subway, headed back to the bus that would take them to the car, Emily took hold of Paige's arm and put her head on Paige's shoulders, with her eyes closed. She was tired, but it wasn't just that. It had been an amazing day, and she just wanted to take time out and savor it for a while. "Mmmm... You smell good," she said dreamily. "Have I ever told you that?"

Paige, smiling, patted Emily on the knee. It didn't much matter what Emily said. It was enough to feel Emily's head on her shoulder and Emily's hands around her arm.


	19. A Night In

**Bonus Scene:**

**A/N - Here's a scene that I couldn't really find a spot for, so I'm just going to throw it out there.**

"Mommy!" Anna called, handing Emily her phone, "It's Auntie Hanna."

Emily could hear Hanna laughing even before she got the phone up to her ear, and she looked at Anna sternly, but Anna's expression gave no indication why Hanna was reacting like that. Anna knew that she wasn't supposed to fool around on Emily's phone; if she answered without being courteous or professional, Emily would take away her phone-answering privileges.

"Hanna?"

"OMG, Em..." Hanna wasn't able to stop laughing.

"Hanna, what did she say?"

"No, no, no, no, no!" Hanna was trying to get herself under control. She really didn't want Anna to get in trouble, especially when she hadn't done anything.

"So, what's so funny?"

"I asked her, 'Is your mommy busy?' and she said, 'No, she's probably just kissing Ms. Paige.'"

Emily gasped, even though that was actually what she was doing. "Hanna..." She started to explain, but Hanna cut her off.

"No, no! No, no! So, I said, 'Do they kiss a lot?' And she said," - Hanna affected the voice of a child; one who was being melodramatic - "she said, 'ALL. THE. TIME!'" Hanna laughed so loud that Emily had to pull the phone away from her face. "You little horndog, Em!"

**(Uh... That's it... I didn't know how to end it! :) Thanks for reading!)**

* * *

Emily was on her knees, at Anna's level, to give her one last hug before sending her off with Hanna. "I love you, Honey! Bye! Be good for Auntie Hanna."

"I will," Anna assured her. She turned to walk away but turned back quickly. "Go get her, Mommy!" she said enthusiastically, with two thumbs up.

Emily's mouth dropped from sheer surprise. "Anna..." She looked at Hanna, to see whether she was just as shocked at hearing that expression come from Anna's mouth. Hanna had laughed when Anna first said it, but quickly covered her mouth and tried to play it cool when Emily looked her way. Emily realized what was going on. She put her hands on her sides, with the elbows bent, like a cranky schoolteacher. "Hanna Marin, what have you been teaching her?"

Hanna shot Emily her most guileless face, shrugging her shoulders. She patted Emily on the shoulder. "Go get her, Mommy," she parroted, turning to Anna, who joined herin giving two thumbs up.

Emily smiled, shaking her head, as she closed the front door behind them. "We won't wait up!" she heard Hanna yell from outside. Sighing, she shook her head. Hanna was a great friend - not just for taking Anna for the evening, but for making her laugh, in the middle of all the tension. She didn't know why she was so tense. She had already won the girl, after all. Still, she put a lot of pressure on herself. Paige had had a rough week. Emily really wanted to give her a relaxing evening.

Paige didn't know what Emily was planning. Emily just told her that she was going to make dinner, and asked her to be there "a little after six." She had learned to leave things a bit up in the air. If she had told Paige six o'clock, Paige would have shown up at her doorstep at six on the dot, whether or not Emily was ready. She still got the feeling that Paige came at six - and just cooled her heels on the porch for a few minutes, so it didn't look as if she'd shown up obsessively on time. Emily laughed out loud. Paige was one of a kind. And she was hers.

Emily had planned for a low-key evening - a bottle of wine, some tapas, and just chill on the couch. Nothing so even as formal as a dinner table. It was the kind of evening that her parents often shared - not really doing anything except being together.

Of course, Pam and Wayne had years of experience in "just being together." That's what had Emily was so worried. Maybe she and Paige would run out of things to talk about; maybe Paige would be really hungry; maybe relaxing wasn't really Paige's thing. If worse came to worst, she decided, she could always pull the tablecloth off of the table and get going on the puzzle again. But that would be her last resort. She really wanted to know that they could spend time together doing nothing; that they were enough for each other.

Emily sighed and looked at herself in the mirror. "You're putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on yourself," she said, pointing an accusing hairbrush at her reflection. It would be fine, she tried to convince herself. After all, this wasn't their first date.

* * *

Emily looked through her closet for something appropriate to wear. She settled on a bouncy maroon dress, because she wanted to feel girly, for some reason. She tried on some earrings but ended up deciding to go without them. The dress was already a little more formal than what she'd had in mind for the evening. She was very conscious of the need to make Paige feel relaxed.

Emily took one last look at the coasters, the glasses, and the bottle of wine on the coffee table, positioning and repositioning them so as to make it look as if they had just been tossed their casually. She looked at her watch, kind of wishing she had just said 6:00. That way, she would have known when to start getting nervous. As it was, her stomach was in a constant state of unease. She looked for something to take her mind off of waiting for Paige - anything to keep her from concentrating on the fact that the doorbell wasn't ringing.

When it finally did ring, Emily jumped up with a start. She reached for her lighter, to light the candles, but dropped it in favor of the corkscrew. She should have the bottle open when Paige got there, and light the candles after she set the appetizers out. Or was it the other way around? Emily was caught in a loop, taking two steps in one direction, turning around, and taking two steps the opposite way. She stopped and lowered her head, touching her palm to her forehead. There was no way that she could get Paige to relax if she couldn't get herself to relax. She pumped her arms downward a time or two, taking in a couple of deep breaths. "Whatever happens," she said to herself, "we're just going to laugh."

Emily and Paige looked each other up and down when Emily opened the door. Paige had interpreted "casual" as a simple white t-shirt and some ripped jeans. It was really working for her. She had her hands in her pockets, as if she didn't know what else to do with them.

They spoke at virtually the same time, with Emily ahead by mere microseconds:

"Hi."  
"... Hey."

"You look..."  
"... You look..."

"Oh, sorry."  
"... Excuse me."

They both laughed nervously and paused, waiting for the other to speak. When Paige finally broke the silence, Emily was right on her heels:

"You look nice."  
"... You look good."

More shy laughter followed. They couldn't figure out why they were so nervous. It wasn't their first meeting or even their first date, and it wasn't the first time that Paige had been to Emily's house. It was, however, the first time that they had been home alone. And they were both lonely. And both attracted to each other. But they both knew that it was too soon to act on how they felt.

Emily cleared her throat and took a step forward, pulling Paige in for a hug, and a kiss on the cheek. Paige kissed Emily's cheek as well before thinking, "What am I doing?" and kissing her lips. "Oh, okay," Emily said shyly, giggling again. Biting her lip, she angled her body slightly, away from Paige. "Well, you'd better come in," she said eagerly and gestured towards the living room, where the coffee table was set. "I thought we could just have a quiet night in," she said, explaining the way that she had set things up.

Paige exhaled what must have been a scuba tank's worth of air, and Emily's heart hung in the balance. She desperately hoped she hadn't disappointed Paige. But when she saw that Paige looked relieved, not disappointed, she was able to breathe again. "Oh, God," Paige breathed out. "That sounds perfect!"

And, with that statement, a huge weight lifted from Emily's shoulders. Most of the nervousness evaporated. She didn't have to worry anymore; she knew what Paige wanted for the evening, and it was the same thing that she wanted.

As they sat, Emily reached for the wine and the corkscrew. When she did, she realized that, in obsessing over whether she should light the candles or open the wine, she had done neither. Paralysis by analysis, as her father loved to say. But, as she opened the wine, Paige noticed the lighter on the table and took it upon herself to light the candles.  _We make a good team_ , Emily thought. That was almost becoming a cliché with them, but it was true. She loved it.

"So," Emily said, handing Paige a glass of wine, "you had a rough week?"

Paige sighed, rolling her eyes slightly. "A horrible week," she said, adding, after a pause, "but we don't have to talk about that."

 _Okay,_  Emily thought, _so, what are we going to talk about?_  Her plan had been to get Paige talking about her week. Talking was how Emily dealt with stress, but Paige obviously processed things differently. Time to go to plan B. If only Emily had thought to come up with a plan B. She looked over at Paige with a shy smile, setting her glass onto a coaster. "Your hair's really coming in," she said, picking at it a bit before stroking her hand through it. Before she knew what was happening, she was pressed back against the couch, with Paige's lips all over hers.  _Okay, this is one way to get over our nerves,_  Emily thought.  _I wonder how much time this is going to kill._

It wasn't that Emily wasn't enjoying herself. She was just still focused like a laser on how the evening would go. A few minutes of light making-out expelled those thoughts, though. But, as abruptly as she had begun the session, Paige broke it off, backing away from Emily and asking, with her eyes, whether or not she had crossed a line.

For Paige, this was all still very new. She'd kissed a girl and she liked it. And she wanted more. Every kiss was a new discovery; an inspiration. But she knew that it wasn't the same for Emily, and she worried that she was taking advantage. The fact that they were together wasn't like a free pass to the putting green, where Paige was free to tee off whenever she wanted.

Emily's smile wasn't giving anything away, as she smoothed her skirt back into place. Paige's eyes followed the motion of Emily's hands instinctively, but she quickly looked away, not wanting to be seen staring too long at Emily's legs. Emily's smile became mischievous, and she reached under Paige's shirt, her finger finding the scar she had noticed one on of their puzzle nights. Paige moaned at the contact at first, but then laughed, pushing Emily's hand away, as it started to tickle.

"Sorry," Emily said with a broad smile (even though she wasn't). "I've wanted to see what it felt like for a while."

"For a while?" Paige asked, smirking, with one eyeball raised.

Emily nodded. "Ever since that night we were working on the puzzle." Paige seemed confused. "You took off your sweater, and your shirt went up with it," Emily explained.

"Why, Emily Fields, you little perv!"

Emily pushed her back against the couch and kissed her with force. "You love it," she said, and Paige shrugged her shoulders, unable to deny it. They started kissing again. Paige's hand made it to Emily's thigh, rubbing it and squeezing it softly. Emily's hand went back to the scar, and she let it meander upwards, in slow circles, until she felt the hem of Paige's bra. At that, she pulled it away as if she'd been burned. She tightened her lips, looking into Paige's eyes. Paige cleared her throat and nodded, signifying that she understood.

Things were moving fast between them. But there was such a thing as too fast.

Under other circumstances, Emily might have gone for it. They were both adults, both old enough to know what they wanted. And they had deep love for each other and complete trust. But this was Paige's lesbian virginity, and Emily respected that. She wanted Paige's first time to be special; romantic - not just a lust-fueled romp, a fire that burned out of control in the heat of the moment.

Paige brushed her hair away from her face, and the gesture caused her shirt to ride up. Emily allowed herself another glance at the scar. Paige didn't mind. It wasn't something that made her feel uncomfortable; on the contrary, she embraced her scar. Scars, she'd come to believe, are the marks of survivors.

Emily touched the spot with two fingers, gingerly, so as not to arouse Paige - or herself - again. "Appendix?"

Paige nodded. "High school," she said. "Senior year. And it came at the worst possible time. I was in training for the state championships, and it sidelined me for a solid two weeks. I wasn't supposed to lift or stretch or exert myself..." Paige shook her head at the traumatic memory. "I couldn't even get into the pool, except for hydrotherapy."

Emily pouted sympathetically. "So, how did you make out?"

Paige beamed. "State champ, Baby! Made it to nationals!"

Emily slapped Paige's shoulder. Of course, Paige would think that her swimming success was the important thing. "Well, that's great," Emily said dryly, "but I was actually asking about your surgery."

Paige snickered. "The surgery?" She scoffed. "Piece of cake! You can't keep me down. Snip snip here, stitch stitch there, and I'm back in business."

Emily shook her head, but she couldn't hide her smile. She wished she had a little bit of that Paige McCullers cockiness. But maybe not. She liked it more in her women than in herself.

Paige took Emily's hand, suddenly very serious. "Emily," she said softly, and Emily, a little bit nervous, gave her her full attention. "Can you accept the fact that... I'm not a complete woman?"

Emily nodded slightly. She could accept anything, because she loved Paige. She waited for Paige to explain herself, but Paige was just staring at her like a zombie. When Emily finally realized what she was talking about, she shoved her aside. "You mean, you don't have a ... because you had your appendix out? You're not a complete woman because you don't have an appendix?" Paige started laughing uncontrollably. "Get over here," Emily commanded, pulling Paige in for some more kissing. They were taking things slowly, but that didn't mean just standing still.

* * *

"Have you got something in the oven?"

"Paige!" Emily said in a panic, inhaling sharply, as she pushed off of Paige and darted towards the kitchen. "Oh, no!" she whined. Paige was right behind her. Emily opened the oven door, letting out billows of smoke, and pulled out the tray of appetizers, which were burned beyond any attempt to rescue. She turned on the fan in the vent over the oven and ran to open some windows, to let the smoke out before it set off the smoke alarm. When she turned on the fan, she noticed what had happened: She had set the timer for 30 minutes, but she never hit the start button. It wouldn't have been a problem had she not been so distracted by making out with Paige; she would have remembered the oven - or at least smelled the food before it burned to a crisp.

Emily couldn't help it. She put her face in her hands and started crying. She really didn't want Paige to see her like that, and that just made her want to cry even more. When Paige gathered her into a hug, she didn't resist. It felt good to be able to let it out, knowing that Paige had her.

"Hey, don't worry," Paige whispered into her ear.

"I wanted tonight to be _perfect_ ," Emily whined.

"It was," Paige assured her, still whispering.

Emily scoffed, pointing towards the smoldering tray on the stove. "Really?"

Paige gave her a kiss. "Really," she said, her voice falling like a feather. She tilted Emily's head so that Emily could see her eyes. "Tonight was just what I needed," she said sincerely. "I wouldn't change a thing."

"Nothing?" Emily said skeptically. Paige shook her head.

Emily wasn't sure what it was - the white lies that Paige was telling her, the way it felt to have Paige hold her, or just the afterglow of their makeout sessions on the couch, but she didn't feel like crying anymore. "Aren't you hungry?" she asked, with one final sniffle.

"No," Paige said, drawing out the word, for emphasis. Emily tilted her head and frowned. "Okay, a little bit," Paige admitted, with a guilty smile.

Emily quickly withdrew from Paige's arms and bopped over to the refrigerator, bending over slightly as she looked inside to survey her options. "I'll find something to whip up really quickly," she assured Paige. It wouldn't be easy. Most of what was in the refrigerator was Anna's food, not suitable for adults.

Paige, meanwhile, was trying her best not to stare at the set of bronzed, toned legs bathed in the soft glow of the light from the refrigerator. The way that Emily was hunched over, those legs seemed to go on forever.

"Uhhh..." Emily said contemplatively, in a voice that almost sounded like a moan. Paige heard her softly sing, "Tom Pierce, Tom Pierce, lend me thy grey mare" under her breath, and she smiled to herself. But when Emily, started moving bottles out of the way to get a better view, making her hips swish from side to side, Paige's brain went into meltdown. She was about two seconds away from losing her self-control when put her hands on Emily's waist and gently pulled her back from the refrigerator, shutting its door behind her. "We're ordering Chinese," she declared.

"Oh, okay!" Emily was surprised, but she wanted the night to be about Paige, after all. If Paige wanted Chinese, Chinese it would be.

But, of course, it wasn't about the Chinese food, in reality. The reality was that Paige thought she had a better chance of maintaining her self-control spending another half hour on the couch with Emily as they waited for the food than spending another thirty seconds in front of the refrigerator, watching the little show that Emily was unwittingly putting on.

* * *

The food came, and things between them cooled down considerably. And that was okay. Perfect, as Paige would say. They didn't need to be talking. They didn't need to be kissing. They didn't eating or watching TV. They just needed to be together.


	20. No Secrets

"Paige!"

Paige almost jumped out of her skin. Emily burst out laughing. She had meant to surprise Paige, but she hadn't intended to startle her that much.

"I thought that was you when I saw you in the window."

Paige's heart was still beating out of control. She dipped her head. She knew that she shouldn't have tried it in broad daylight, but that was the problem with small towns like Rosewood: No 24-hour drug stores, like the ones in Philly.

"So, what are you doing in the Family Planning aisle?" Emily teased. Leaning in with a fake-concerned look, she asked, "Should I be worried?" She gave Paige an over-the-top series of winks, to play up the innuendo. She hadn't noticed that Paige had yet to say a word. But Paige was definitely looking suspicious.

"Oh, um… I…" Paige chuckled nervously. She looked at the "Family Planning" sign above the aisle, as though she were seeing it for the first time. "Huh," she said in a forced chuckle that she meant to sound casual. "Actually, I was on my way to get, um… batteries."

"O_kay." Emily tilted her head, giving Paige a smile of concern. She squeezed Paige's arm. "Well, I'll let you get back to… that."

Emily went in for a kiss. It was hardly the first time that they had kissed each other good-by, or even the first time they had done so in public. Still, it seemed to have caught Paige off-guard, and Emily's lips ended up meeting the side of Paige's mouth.

"I'll… um… I'll call you tonight."

Emily nodded. She started to turn but lingered for a moment.

"Paige?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't have to tell me everything. But you can tell me anything." Emily raised her eyebrows and nodded, to confirm that Paige understood what she was saying.

"I know that, Em," Paige said, smiling like someone who was pretending that nothing was wrong. Emily gave her a quick hug and headed out. Paige headed for the aisle with the batteries and hung out there for a full five minutes, checking over her shoulder from time to time, until she was sure that Emily wasn't coming back. But Emily had moved on.

Emily felt bad for having embarrassed Paige, and she really did want her to know that whatever was going on, it was okay. Paige was being weird, but Emily had a pretty good idea what was going on. Things had gotten pretty hot and heavy that night on Emily's couch, and it was obvious that they were going to take things to the next level pretty soon. And Emily knew Paige: Paige had to over-prepare for everything. Since she had no prior experience with a woman, she wasn't be comfortable until she was certain that everything was perfectly accounted for. The drug stores in Rosewood reflected the city's small-town sensibilities. Certain things weren't talked about explicitly. Anything related to sexuality was thrown under the umbrella of "Family Planning" So, Emily assumed that Paige might have been in that section looking for help with a dryness issue or, perhaps, some kind of rash. Or, maybe Paige had been looking at some kind of toy, to prepare herself for her first time with a woman. Maybe she was planning to surprise  _her_  with a toy. Actually, to Emily's thinking, a toy made the most sense. It would have explained why Paige's mind went to batteries for a cover story.

Whatever it was, Emily decided that Paige would tell her when she was ready. And, if she were never ready, that would be okay, too. After all, even though they had been in the relationship fast lane, the reality was that they hadn't been dating for very long at all. They had never even had the discussion about what they were and how to define their relationship. Emily was determined not to rush Paige. She was comfortable in Paige's feelings for her.

* * *

When Paige was sure that the coast was clear, she returned to the Family Planning aisle and quickly grabbed what she needed, her fingers trembling as she took it up to the counter.

Paige hated that about small towns. Everybody knew everybody. She only hoped that she would get a chance to tell Emily what was going on before the news worked its way back to her through the grapevine.

* * *

Paige texted Emily at around dinner time and asked whether she could come by. Emily could tell by the curtness of the text that it was something serious, but she didn't know how to prepare. She decided that she would have to try to put Paige at ease, to let her know that she truly meant it when she said that Paige could tell her anything.

Paige was waiting at the front door with her hands in her pockets, her body angled with one shoulder dipping down. She had the look of someone who didn't want anyone to know that she had been crying, but Emily might have only imagined that. Emily stood holding the door for a moment as Paige maintained her posture. Suddenly, as if willing herself to act normal, she put her hand behind Emily's neck and gave her a kiss. Emily couldn't help asking whether she was okay. Paige nodded and took Emily's hand as she entered, leading her to her own living room. They sat with their hands in their laps, Paige on the couch, and Emily on the chair next to it, so that she could look Paige in the eyes. But Paige's eyes weren't available. She was staring at her hands. The scene had all the tension of a junior-high first date.

"So, let me guess: This is about the batteries?" Emily, smiling broadly, mimed elbowing Paige in the ribs, although she wasn't close enough to reach them. It was just intended to lighten the mood.

"Yeah. About that." Paige's face was somber. She didn't appear to be in the mood for humor. "I actually wasn't there for batteries."

"I know," Emily said softly, her face suddenly full of concern.

Paige's shoulders heaved as she took in a deep breath, to prepare herself for what she was about to confess. "I'm… I'm pregnant, Emily." Paige glanced at Emily for a reaction.

Emily did her best not to flinch. She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but she definitely wasn't expecting that. "Okay," she said, with no emotion. She had a million questions, but she wanted to give Paige a chance to explain on her own terms. She could almost hear Paige's heartbeat. All of her wanted to take Paige's hand and assure her that everything would be okay, but, honestly, she wasn't sure herself, at that point.

Emily knew that she had no business being jealous. Still, it was hard not to be. She reminded herself that she and Paige had only been dating for a couple of weeks, and they hadn't even defined the relationship yet, much less declared themselves exclusive. Not only that, but she didn't have the facts.

Speaking of which, she realized that Paige had started talking again.

"I have some history with missed periods," Paige told her. "Back in high school, my doctor warned me that I was throwing off my estrogen levels by overtraining, and he advised me to dial it back a little. So, when it started happening again, I just figured – 'Oh, I'm not a kid anymore; my body's changing; even though I'm not so hardcore about working out, it's still throwing my system out of whack.' And when I started throwing up, I thought it was, I don't know – flu or nausea, or dehydration or something. But when I started to notice.. certain other... changes in my body that it was impossible to ignore…" Paige trailed off.

"How… many…" Emily cleared her throat. "How many missed periods?"

Paige smiled, knowing what Emily was asking. "I'm four months pregnant, Em." She had a feeling that Emily was doing the math in her head, counting backwards from June. "Yeah," Paige confirmed, "One last gift from my ex.

"About a week or so before that night when the shit hit the fan," Paige continued, "Trevor was… really attentive. And really… horny. For an entire week, which was unusual for him." Paige looked at Emily's poker face. "But, it wasn't just that. He was different; compassionate and... attentive, in a way that he hadn't been before. I thought, at the time, that he was trying to compensate, like, feeling guilty because he was cheating on me, or something." Emily's head snapped back a little. Paige smiled wearily. "Believe me, the signs were there." Paige let out a quick puff of air. "But, after that night, I started to think that, maybe, he was trying to…"

"Fuck the gay away?"

Paige chuckled. "Something like that. I think he thought that I had 'turned gay' because I wanted a more caring, tender lover" – Paige rolled her eyes – "so I think he was trying to show me that I didn't need a woman; he could be that for me."

Emily knew what Paige was talking about. She had encountered many men who viewed her sexuality as a threat to their manhood.

"But, when that didn't work out, and he realized it was over, he lashed out. Well, you know that part of the story." Paige shook her head slowly in disgust. "Anyway," she said, pulling herself together, "by that time, the damage had been done."

The two sat in silence for an uncomfortable amount of time. Emily got up and slowly moved next to Paige on the couch. Paige turned her head away until Emily put her arm around her shoulder. "Do you think he's going to want custody?"

Paige scoffed. "No." She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. Emily leaned in, as if to ask whether Paige was sure. "When I left, he made some threats about suing for custody of Wayne. I told Spencer, and she told me that we could try to prove that his homophobia would make a hostile environment for raising a child. She had some friends do some digging, and" – Paige's voice went higher with emotion – "It turns out I wasn't off base when I suspected that he was cheating on me." Paige scoffed. "Actually," she said, her voice devoid of emotion, "I wouldn't be surprised if he's already got another bun in some other oven."

Emily rubbed Paige's shoulders. She could tell by the look on Paige's face that there was more to the story. Paige looked as if she wanted to break something. Something like her ex-husband's neck.

"And the worst part," she said through gritted teeth, "I think Wayne found out about it, somehow."

Emily gasped audibly. "Oh, Paige... But, you can't blame Wayne for not saying..." Emily didn't want to discount Paige's anger. "I mean, that must've been so confusing for him."

"Exactly!" Paige said quickly. "I don't blame Wayne. I blame that piece of shit my ex-husband of mine, for telling him that he had to keep it a secret. How could he put his own kid into that position?"

"Yeah," Emily said, indignant. "If he had any shred of decency, he would have confessed, rather than doing that to a four-year-old."

"Yeah," Paige said bitterly, "but, this way, he gets to be the martyr. This way, his marriage fell apart because his wife's queer, not because he's a cheating son of a bitch!"

Emily hugged Paige, rubbing her back to help her calm down. Stress wasn't good for the baby, and Paige was overloaded with stress.

"God," Paige said weakly, "What is it with me? I attract some great men, that's for sure - my Dad, my husband..."

"And your son," Emily reminded her. "You've got to be doing something right, to have such raised a great kid."

Paige chuckled, wiping at her eyes. "Yeah," she agreed. "He's a gem."

Emily pulled Paige closer and held her in silence for a while. "Well," she said softly, slowly, "this isn't the way that you would've planned it, but it's not all bad, is it? I mean, I know Wayne wants a little brother or sister."

"Brother," Paige said, forcing a smile. "No," she said, turning serious again. "I mean. It's not bad at all. It's just… the timing really sucks."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… If we had been together longer… You and I." Paige sighed. "I mean, I kind of thought that I'd be starting a family together… with  _someone_ , at some point. But not now. Not…"

"Not with me?" Emily couldn't help feeling disappointed – and hurt."

"Not like this," Paige said, clarifying her unfinished thought. She looked at Emily, her eyes full of emotion. "Emily, I know that I can't expect you to… I could never ask you to… to go through a pregnancy with me and someone else's child."

Emily inhaled sharply, in shock. On pure instinct, she raised her hand, but her rational mind stopped her before she followed through and slapped Paige's cheek. She turned the movement into a playful punch instead. "Hush your mouth," she exclaimed, her voice, playfully deep, masking the seriousness and urgency behind her words.

"Emily…" Paige sounded extremely tired. It was obvious that she had been struggling with this for a little while.

Emily hugged Paige again. "Paige, I'm here for you. I'm here  _with_  you. Okay?"

"Okay," Paige whispered.

"We make a good team, remember?" Emily squeezed Paige's bicep, punctuating the point. She wasn't sure whether Paige would remember her comment from the bus ride home, after the field trip; – the first time that she had started thinking of the real possibility of raising a family with Paige.

Paige laughed through the tears she'd been holding back. "We're good with kids." She wasn't sure what to say, but she wanted Emily to know that she remembered. She leaned in to give her a kiss. "Thank you. For being so good about this."

"Thank you for letting me be a part of it." Emily managed a half-smile.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

There was much more that needed to be said, but, in that moment, that was enough.

* * *

"Have you told Wayne?" Emily asked over the coffee she had brewed for them. They had moved to the kitchen table, the tenseness and the tears from moments ago long gone.

"No." Paige shook her head slowly as she inhaled another sip from her mug. "I haven't told anyone except you. I figured I owed you that much, after my bizarre behavior in the Rite Aid."

Paige was smiling, but Emily, grabbing hold of Paige's wrist, took a more serious tone. "I meant what I said, you know. You can tell me anything. But I understand if you don't want to tell me everything."

Paige took hold of the hand that Emily had put on her wrist. Looking into her eyes, she asked, "Emily, where do you see the two of us?"

Emily tightened her lips. She had an answer in mind, but she didn't want to be the first to say it.

"Because I see us as something that's… not just casual. I don't want to have secrets from you. The only reason I didn't tell you what was up when you saw me in the store was that I didn't have the facts, and I didn't want you to have a million questions going through your head if you only knew part of the story." Hearing the words that had just come out of her mouth, Paige nodded her head, glancing helplessly up at the ceiling and throwing her hands up in the air, to let them fall limp against the table. "Which, I guess… I mean, you probably still had a million questions, after my weird behavior." Emily chuckled lightly and squeezed Paige's hand, encouraging her to continue. "Look, what I'm trying to say is, I don't want to have one life with you" – Paige made a box with her hands on the left side of her body – "and another life that's private, just for me." – Paige moved the box to the other side of her body. "I want to be all-in." Paige paused and exhaled deeply. "And I know that this baby kind of complicates things… I mean, I think we both wanted a bigger family, at some point, with someone…"

Emily nodded. "I don't know about you, but… Well, there are a lot of good things about being an only child, but it can get pretty lonely, too." Emily smiled sadly. "I remember lying in bed, talking to my teddy bear and wishing that I had a sister, or even a brother to hang out with. Or even some cousins who lived close. But…" Paige nodded in understanding. "I mean, don't get me wrong, my friends were great in high school. They were almost like family.  _Almost._ "

"Yeah," Paige agreed. "I know how that feels. But, still, neither of us saw it coming like this. Not just out of the blue like this, with no discussion or planning."  _No commitment._

Emily shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah. But it is what it is." Emily smiled. "One of the things I learned from all the crap I went through in high school – from being outed, to all the drama when the swim team parents found out I was gay, to my shoulder injury – is that you have to play the cards life deals you. Make the best of the things that you can't change."

"It is what it is," Paige repeated, with a soft smile. She put both of her hands around Emily's left hand. Looking deep into her eyes, she said, "I want to move forward with you, Emily. Not just because of this baby. I just… I want to see where this goes."

"You mean, like,  _girlfriends_?"

Paige answered her with a tentative nod. She hadn't been able to tell from Emily's tone whether that was what Emily wanted, or whether Emily wanted to tell her to slow down.

When Emily leaned across the table, Paige met her halfway for the kiss. "Yes," she said, her smile finally confident, for the first time in that night. "Like girlfriends. Exactly like girlfriends."

Emily couldn't suppress the giggle. "I want that, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so I had to do that thing that they did on PLL, where they play with the timeline in order to make the story work... :) Thanks for playing along!


	21. Beauty for Ashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't planning to go into a lot of detail about the pregnancy, but a few of you mentioned looking forward to reading about the kids' reactions, and I'm only here for my readers! This is a quickie, but here goes.
> 
> Thanks for reading and for your suggestions!

"Well, Wayne," Paige said with an excited smile, "I just want you to know that you're going to have a little brother or sister soon."

"A little brother!" Wayne yelled enthusiastically, pumping his fist into the air.

"Well, we don't know that yet."

"Oh." Wayne was disappointed. He thought Paige was asking him to make the choice.

"Why do you want a little brother?"

"Because boys are cooler than girls."

Paige rolled her eyes. She'd raised Wayne better than that. But she understood his reaction. It was very age-appropriate. "Well, what about Anna? Is she cool?" Wayne nodded. "See? You don't wish that she were a boy, do you?"

Wayne shrugged his shoulders. "Sometimes!"

Paige couldn't help laughing to herself. Her arguments may have been valid for an adult, but not a five-year-old boy. She knew better than to try to argue with him. "Look, Sport, I'm just saying. Suppose this child ends up being a girl. You'd still love her, right?"

Wayne took a moment. "Yes, I'd still love her. Just not as much as if she were a boy."

Paige face-palmed. Wayne, seeing her distress, tried to make her feel better.

"It's okay, Mommy," he said softly. "I already know that it's a girl."

"You do, huh?" Wayne nodded. "And how do you know that?"

"Because, if it were a boy, you'd tell me. But you won't say it's a girl until you try to get me used to the idea."

"But, that's just it, Wayne. I don't know whether it's a boy or a girl."

"So, who gets to choose?"

"Nobody gets to choose!"

"Does God choose?"

Paige shrugged her shoulder. "Some people think so."

"Well, I'm going to ask God to make it a boy."

"Good luck with that," Paige muttered to herself. She decided to change her strategy. "But, Wayne, if it's a boy," she said, trying to sound distressed, "I'll be outnumbered! You don't want me to be the only girl, do you?"

Wayne thought it over for a minute. "But, Mommy, if it's a girl, I'll be outnumbered! You don't want me to be the only boy, do you?"

"Don't you think it would be nice for Mommy to have a son and a daughter?"

"What about Anna?"

"What about Anna?"

"Well, if you and Ms. Emily get married, won't Anna be your daughter?"

Paige smiled, not out of amusement, but at the possibility that Wayne had gotten some inside information, like the time he announced that Emily liked her. She decided to do a little fishing. "Who said anything about me and Ms. Emily getting married?" she asked coyly.

"I don't know. But you love her, right?"

"Yes, I do."

"And don't people who love each other get married?"

"Well, it starts with love, Champ. But it takes more than that. The people have to be committed to each other."

"What does 'committed' mean?"

"It means..." Paige sighed as she thought about how to explain it. "It means that, whatever happens, they decide that you're going to stay with that person."

"Are you and Ms. Emily committed?"

"We're working on it..."

"Oh." Paige could see Wayne filing that information away, trying to process it.

"Listen, though," she told him in a serious tone. "This is just family business, okay? You don't need to tell anybody that we talked about it."

"But you said Ms. Emily was like family."

"And she  _is_... It's just... I just don't to put pressure on her, if she thinks that I'm talking about marriage. Do you get what I'm saying?"

Wayne nodded his head. He was quiet for a moment, and then he perked up. "Mommy, I don't want Anna to be a boy. I like her the way she is, even though she's a girl!"

Paige hugged her son, laughing at his epiphany. But she got serious, knowing that she had to tell him the rest of the story. "Well, there's one more thing, Hon. Your Daddy is also the daddy of this baby."

"He is?"

Paige nodded. "But, that's family business, okay?"

"Okay." Wayne acknowledged that, but quickly moved on to the question in his head. "But you and Daddy aren't committed anymore!"

"I know, Sweetheart. It's just... Well, babies take a long time to be born, and, sometimes, things change after you start the process." Wayne's blank expression said that this was going over his head. "Look, let's say your Daddy and I put some cookies in the oven, and then he got called in to go to work before the cookies were done. The cookies would still come, and they would still be our cookies, but he wouldn't be there to enjoy them." Paige smiled to herself for having come up with that example. She carried it a step further. "And, let's say, when you got home from school, I told you that we had put some cookies in the oven. You might want chocolate chip, but, if we had already made oatmeal raisin , it would be too late to change it. But you'd still like the oatmeal raisin cookies, wouldn't you?" She swiped his face with her index finger, excited about the clever point that she had made.

Wayne nodded, but added, mischievously, "But not as much!"

"Not as much!" Paige tickled him and gave him a hug. "Well, at this point," she told him, "I don't know whether we're getting chocolate chip or oatmeal raisin."

"Mommy, is Daddy going to take the baby?"

"Well, he and I have to talk about that, but, no, the baby's going to stay with us."

Wayne nodded his approval. "Good." A moment later, he asked, "Mommy, were your eyes closed?"

Paige was stunned at the question. It seemed a little personal, though, of course, Wayne was too young to know about how babies are conceived.

Before she could address his confusion, he expanded on the question. "When you and Daddy put the cookies in the oven," he clarified. "Is that why you don't know what kind of cookie?"

Paige laughed at the model that Wayne had constructed in his head. "Yes, Champ," she told him. "I closed my eyes, because I wanted it to be a surprise!"

That was a good enough explanation for the time being, she decided. She really didn't want to get into the subject of unplanned pregnancy or the beauty of the human reproductive cycle.

Wayne was quick to move on. "Mommy, can we make some cookies?"

"That sounds like a great idea," Paige said, grateful that she had put an idea in his head that got him to move past their conversation. It was a lot for him to process in one sitting. She knew that they would come back to the subject later.

"And, let me guess: You want to make chocolate chip cookies!"

Wayne nodded eagerly, but he touched Paige's arm, leaning in as if to tell her a secret. "But, sometimes, I want oatmeal raisin cookies, too."

* * *

"You know, Ms. Paige is going to have a baby," Emily announced, as she and Anna worked on dinner.

"Is that why her stomach is getting bigger?"

"You think her stomach is getting bigger?"

"No, but Auntie Hanna said."

Emily chuckled. "Oh, she did, did she? Did she say that Ms. Paige is pregnant?"

"No," Anna said without emotion or judging, "she said that Ms. Paige must be slacking off in the gym, now that she's got you locked down."

"I..." Emily gasped. She didn't even know where to begin. "Do you know what that means?"

Anna nodded. "Uh huh!"

Emily shook her head. Had it been anybody else, she might have warned Anna against talking to her anymore. Or she might have talked to that person about what was and what was not appropriate to say around her daughter. But it was Hanna. Why should Emily be surprised that she would say something like that to a five-year-old?

"Well, trust me," Emily said, pointing with the wooden spoon that she had been using to stir some batter, "Ms. Paige is not the type of person to slack off!"

"Okay, Mommy." Anna didn't know quite what to make of that comment.

"Anyway, she hasn't started telling people yet, so, please don't tell anybody."

Emily realized that she needed to have a talk with Paige. If Hanna noticed her nascent baby-bump, other people would, too, and Paige might want to get out in front of the story.

As they continued their work in the kitchen, Anna noticed the smile that Emily was wearing. "Mommy, why are you smiling?"

"Hmm?" Emily stepped away from her dreams for a moment. "Oh, I'm just excited for Paige, I suppose." She stopped to hug Anna. "I remember when you were just a little one... holding you in my arms, seeing you smile, changing your poopy diapers..."

"Ew! Gross! You liked changing my diapers?"

Emily shrugged. "I didn't mind your diapers. The potty was the thing that got me. I'm so glad that's over with! But, anyway, yeah, I kind of miss it. It's all part of being a mommy."

At that point, Anna wasn't so sure what the advantages to being a mommy were.

"Well," Emily said, still smiling, "Ms. Paige is probably going to need some help, once the baby comes. We might have to have playdates with Wayne, if she needs to take care of the baby. And we might even have to take the baby sometimes. Are you okay with that?"

Anna nodded. She enjoyed having playdates with Wayne. And she wouldn't mind a baby to play with, as long as Emily was the one changing the diapers. "I'm okay with it, Mommy."

"Are you going to be my helper, if I have to help Ms. Paige?"

Anna nodded. "But not poopy diapers!"

Emily rubbed her daughter's shoulder, excited about the adventure that lay ahead of them. She kind of wished that Paige had already talked to Trevor, so that they could start telling other people. Hanna, in particular. She knew that Hanna would have a million comments and questions, most of them inappropriate.

* * *

"So, how was your day? How are you feeling?"

Emily had called Paige to find out how Wayne had taken the news, to let her know that she had told Anna, and to fill her in on Hanna's comment. They knew, of course, that people were going to start noticing and speculating sooner or later. Emily wanted Paige to know that it might be sooner than they thought.

But, mainly, Emily just wanted to talk to Paige; to hear her voice, and to find out how she was feeling.

"My day's been good," Paige said, sounding more tired than enthusiastic. "I'm not looking forward to meeting Trevor tomorrow."

"Did you tell him why you wanted to meet him?"

"No," Paige said with a scoff. "Let him twist in the wind for a while."

Emily wished that she were next to Paige, so that she could squeeze her hand or rub her back, or give her a friendly kiss. "Well, don't let him get to you, okay? Whatever he says, just remember what's really important."

"I will," Paige assured her.

Emily pouted, grateful that Paige couldn't see her. "I wish I could go with you."

"I appreciate that." Paige knew that the situation was going to be volatile enough without adding fuel to the fire by letting Trevor see her with a woman. "But I know you'll be with me in spirit."

"I will," Emily assured her.

"You know," Paige said wistfully, "I've been thinking about something."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I've been thinking about what this baby represents. It just shows how something really great can come from really bad circumstances. Like, it was a bad circumstance that made me come to Rosewood, and our relationship came from that. And this pregnancy came from a bad circumstance, but we're going to have a beautiful addition to our family as a result."

"And that bad circumstance brought you and me closer together," Emily said softly, remembering the relationship discussion that they had after Paige told her the news.

"Exactly," Paige concurred. "Whenever I see this child, I'm going to remember that the bad things in life aren't the end of the story. My appendix scar and your shoulder are proof of that, too. Beautiful things can come out of our challenges, as long as we don't give up."


	22. Pregnant Pause

"So, you knocked your girl up, huh! Way to go, Emily!"

"Ha ha," Emily droned. "Anyway, I just wanted to let you know the facts, before any rumors got started. You know, like Paige is slacking off because she'd locked me down."

Hanna laughed out loud, leaning over in her seat and covering her mouth at what she had told Anna.

"As if Paige would ever slack off," Emily chided her.

"I knew she was pregnant," Hanna said, as if it were obvious.

"Of course you did."

"Um... yeah! I  _did_! But I wasn't going to tell Anna that!"

Emily, shocked at that rare show of restraint on Hanna's part, sat up straight in her chair. "Oh... Oh! Well, that's... that's actually kind of nice of you, Hanna."

Before Emily could thank her, Hanna finished her thought. "Because I didn't want to get into  _that_  whole conversation! That's not a job for the cool auntie. It's a job for the frumpy mommy!"

"Hey!" Emily barked, in mock-indignation.

"So do we know who the father is?"

Emily's jaw dropped. There was the Hanna we know and love, back after a brief hiatus.

"Hanna!"

"What? I know she wasn't cheating on you! You guys weren't together!"

"Yeah, but Paige doesn't sleep around!"

"Well, she tried to pick up Spencer didn't she?"

"Spencer can't get her pregnant!"

"Well, duh! I'm just using her as an example!"

"Ugh!" Emily groaned. "It's Trevor, okay? Paige's ex."

"Ooh! Well, you know what they say about breakups! They never take on the first try. Can't blame Paige for going back for another taste of that sweet, juicy..."

"Hanna!" Emily rubbed her forehead in frustration. "It was before they broke up, okay? And it wasn't planned."

"Okay, jeez! Don't bite my head off..."

* * *

"So, how did it go with Trevor when you told him?" Emily asked on the cool-down walk after her run with Paige. Emily knew that they couldn't have a serious talk while they were running, but it killed her to have to wait.

Paige rolled her eyes with a derisive chuckle. "It went fine."

Emily leaned in, nodding her head. "And...?"

Paige shrugged. "And, that's that."

"Did he give you any shit about custody or about terminating?"

Paige shook her head slowly and mouthed the word "No." Emily let out a frustrated huff. "He didn't even know I could still terminate at four months. He actually accused me of keeping the news from him until it was too late for me to terminate."

"What?" Emily couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Yeah. And, I mean, I wouldn't even think of something that devious."

"Well, I guess, if that's the way he thinks, he assumes everybody else thinks that way, too."

Paige shook her head in disgust. She was obviously hurt. "He… He couldn't really be bothered with it," Paige explained. "As I suspected, I'm not the only woman he's gotten pregnant this year. His main concern was that I wasn't going to make a 'thing' about it, you know? And mess things up with his new chick."

"Wow," Emily said, shocked. "It didn't take him long to move on." She inhaled sharply. "Oh… I mean – I guess it wasn't so quick after all." Emily smiled, embarrassed when she realized that their relationship was evidence that Paige had moved on just as quickly. "Perfectly normal!"

Paige took her hand with a reassuring smile. "It's fine," she said softly. "Anyway, he offered to buy me out." Paige rubbed her fingers to indicate handling money. "You know. A little hush money. Taking his cue from…"

"Don't even say it," Emily said. "I can't even stand to hear his name!"

Paige nodded. "Well," she said with a half-smile, "Trevor was offering me considerably less than $130,000!"

"You didn't take him up on it, though?"

"Hell no!"

Emily, even though she had assumed that Paige had turned him down, was relieved to hear that. She didn't want Trevor to have any kind of leverage over them. Money has a way of doing that.

Paige shot Emily a mischievous wink. "But that doesn't mean I didn't let him twist in the wind a bit!"

"What do you mean?"

"I pointed out how expensive it was to raise a child, and how small the amount he was offering was, compared to day care, health insurance, and college tuition."

"Is he paying child support for Wayne?"

Paige shook her head. "No," she said slowly. Like that quote from the Bible: 'I will accept nothing from you, so that you will not be able to say that I made Abraham rich.'" Emily shrugged her shoulders, indicating that, although she got the concept, she wasn't familiar with the quote. "Well, anyway. No, we don't get child support. We worked out a one-dollar settlement. I don't want him to think he's in any way responsible for the incredible human being Wayne is going to become."

"Do you think he's going to have any involvement in the baby's life?"

Paige frowned. "Well, if Wayne is any guide…" She shook her head sadly. "I think he sees himself as punishing me by avoiding Wayne. Or maybe he just legitimately doesn't give a shit, I don't know."

Emily squeezed Paige's hand. "How does Wayne feel about that?"

Paige shrugged her shoulders. "He's a tough kid, but… Well, he has his ups and downs." Paige took a deep breath. "I really… I need to be deliberate with this child, you know?" Paige said, pointing towards her baby bump. "I want it to know, from the outset, that this birth wasn't an accident. It wasn't planned, but most miracles aren't." Paige bit her lip and shook her head. "I just don't ever want this baby to think that he was a mistake."

Emily took Paige's other hand and looked her in the eye. "You?"

Paige nodded. "My parents met when they were older." Emily could hear the hurt in her voice. "They weren't expecting to get married, and they certainly weren't expecting a pregnancy. But both things happened. And in the opposite order, so... shotgun!" Emily's eyes widened. "Well, not a literal shotgun wedding, but they only got married because they felt that they had to do the 'right' thing." Paige made the air quotes. "After that," she said with a weary sigh, "my Dad had a vasectomy. Like - " Paige wagged her finger and affected an angry voice, "'I'll never make that mistake again!'" Paige scoffed bitterly.

Emily hugged her across the table. "I'm so, so sorry, Paige." She held her for a little while, kissing her as they separated. She pointed to Paige's stomach. "This baby is going to know that he's loved."

"Thanks." Paige reached for a napkin and dabbed under her eyes. "Anyway," she said, changing the subject. "I guess I'd better give Spencer a call. Just to make sure, you know, that everything's spelled out, with Trevor and me."

Emily nodded. "She misses you, you know."

"She does?"

"Yeah. She said she doesn't see you anymore. Not since…" Emily trailed off.

"Not since you and me?"

"Well, I don't want to make you feel guilty." Emily chuckled softly. Turning mock-serious, she wagged her index finger at Paige. "And I don't want you to start distancing yourself from me, since I'm keeping you from your friends, but… yeah. Since you and me."

"Oh." Paige was surprised; surprised that she hadn't noticed that she saw Spencer less often, and surprised that Spencer  _did_  notice. "I thought she was back with that guy from high school."

"Toby?"

"Yeah – Toby," Paige said, remembering the name just as Emily said it.

Emily shrugged her shoulders. "She is. But I guess she still wants some girl time, too."

Paige nodded in understanding. When she thought about it, she realized that she missed Spencer, too. They had a real connection, as friends, and that was hard to find. "Yeah. I really need to get in touch with her." Paige gasped sharply. "Jeez – I hope she doesn't think I only call her when I need legal advice…"

Emily shook her head, patting Paige's hand. "She would be insulted if you didn't call her when you need legal help." After a moment, she added, almost in a whisper, "Don't say anything to her about… you know?" Paige knitted her brow and tilted her head, questioningly. "I mean, don't… you know. Don't tell her that I said anything about the fact that she's been missing you."

"Really?" Paige's voice oozed sarcasm. "So, I should delete this text I just started?" Paige picked up her phone and, in a mechanical monotone, pretended to read from it. "'Hey, Girl! Emily tells me you've been lonely and missing my awesome presence since she and I got together. I'll try to fit you into my schedule sometime when I'm bored."

"Shut up," Emily said, smacking Paige on the bottom with a little more force than was called for. She gasped sharply and soothingly rubbed Paige's bottom, to ease the pain. That was all there was to it. Really. Nothing more. Emily hadn't, for example, intentionally smacked Paige so hard, just to give herself an excuse to rub her still-firm, well-toned little derriere.

* * *

"Ugh!" Emily let out a cry of frustration and let her head fall onto Hanna's kitchen bar. "I'm just so…"

"Horny?"

Emily glanced up and scowled at Hanna. "Frustrated," she said, annoyed.

"Sexually frustrated?"

"Hanna!" Hanna matched Emily's scowl. "Okay," Emily admitted slowly. "I am a little… sexually... frustrated _._  But, mostly, I'm frustrated at the situation, because the timing really sucks."

"What? You're going to tell me you've never boinked a pregnant woman?"

"Have you?" Emily barked.

"Hey," Hanna said, without blinking an eye, "those records are sealed!"

Emily sighed in frustration. She had been trying to throw some of her own embarrassment back at Hanna with that question, but she had underestimated whom she was dealing with.

"Well, for the record," – Emily emphasized the word, playing off Hanna's use of it – "no, I've never slept with a pregnant woman." Turning indignant, she added, "And, I mean, it's not as if I've slept with a ton of women!"

"Yeah, but you were pretty…" – Emily shot her a warning glare. Hanna changed her choice of words. – "…  _popular_ back in high school."

"Okay, well," Emily shouted defensively, "first of all, I didn't date any more than you guys did in high school." Hanna put her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing. "And  _second_ ," Emily added even more forcefully, "I didn't sleep with every girl I dated!"

"Oh, whatever, Em!" Hanna matched Emily's volume. "What's the big deal, anyway? So, Paige is knocked up! That doesn't mean she's not down to…"

"Pregnant doesn't have anything to do with it, Hanna!" Emily exhaled slowly, to calm herself down. "Look, it's not that I wouldn't sleep with Paige because she's pregnant. It's just that… we're not at that point in our relationship, yet. And I can't bring up... taking things to the next level now, because…  **she's pregnant** – and I'm supposed to be helping her get through this incredibly difficult time in her life. I can't just say, 'Oh, by the way, do you think we can speed things up and hop into bed, because I'm really horny?'"

Hanna clapped her hands. "See? I  _knew_  you were horny!"

Emily groaned. "That's all you got out of what I said?"

"Oh, I heard you. 'Can't ask the pregnant girl to fuck me,'" Hanna mocked, "' 'cause the pregnant girl's my friend.' Oh, boo hoo! If I were dating a pregnant dude" – Emily raised a finger to interrupt, but Hanna was on a roll. "Or a pregnant girl – whatever, I wouldn't let that stop me from getting there."

"Yeah," Emily said under her breath, "because you would've been sleeping with her after the first date."

"Fair enough." Hanna shrugged her shoulders. "But you get my point. I mean, what are you going to do? Wait another five months till she has the baby? And then hold off, to give her and the kid some space? Meanwhile, the kid's weaned and out of diapers, and you still haven't sealed the deal!"

"It's not going to be that long," Emily said, dejectedly.

"Well, how long  _is_  it going to be?"

Emily sighed. "I don't know.

* * *

Paige took a deep whiff of the aroma of coffee beans coming from Emily's cup. "God, I miss that," she said, looking up to the ceiling. Rubbing her stomach, she added, "I sincerely hope you appreciate all the things I'm giving up for you."

Emily chuckled. "They don't."

"Right?" Paige shrugged. "Ooh!" she exclaimed with a pained expression.

"What's wrong?"

"My feet are kissing me. They're so swollen... Maybe you could rub them later?" Emily shook her head with a wry smile. "What?"

"You are really a pregnancy princess, aren't you?"

"Hey - you have know idea what..." Paige laughed, slamming her hand down on the table. "Damn it! I can't even whine to you about how you don't have any idea what I'm going through with this pregnancy, because… well, you  _do._ "

Emily chuckled, squeezing Paige's hand. Putting her hands back around her coffee cup, she conceded, "But, every pregnancy's different, though, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Paige snorted. "I guess." She bit her lip contemplatively and leaned across the table, speaking softly, although they were alone in the house. "Did you find that you got really… horny?"

"Wha… what do you mean?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'm just crazy. I just know that my hormones are all out of whack and I really feel… kind of..."

Emily smiled seductively. "Maybe it's not your hormones. Maybe it's your hot girlfriend." She shot Paige a wink.

Paige smirked. "Well, maybe you've got a point there, Em. Maybe it…"

Before Paige could finish, Emily sprang from her chair, letting it fall to the ground, and began kissing her desperately. It took Paige a moment to catch up, but soon, they were both moaning into each other's mouths, fighting for air.

Emily stood up suddenly, taking a couple of steps away from Paige, with her back turned. She had one hand on her side, and she let the other fall, slapping against her thigh. "Oh God, oh God, oh God… This is so wrong!"

"So wrong!" Paige, suddenly behind Emily, whipped her around and started the assault on her lips again.

"Paige…" It started as a moan. The next one was a question. "Paige?" The last one was a rebuke. "Paige!"

Paige backed off, putting her hands in the air.

"I… I can't do this," Emily said sadly. "I'm supposed to be helping you, not… taking advantage of your hormones."

"Okay, but can't you help me  _by_  taking advantage of my hormones?"

Emily whined softly, her knees starting to give way and her head tilted back in frustration. Paige could sense her resolve weakening. She stroked Emily's hair. Emily could smell the desire emanating from Paige, and it was making her crazy.

"That one word makes all the difference – 'by' instead of 'not.'" Paige's voice was raspy and commanding.

If she had thought that Emily was hesitant or unwilling, she wouldn't have pushed it. But she sensed that Emily was only hesitating because she wanted to do the right thing by her. She wanted Emily to know that it wasn't taking advantage; that it wasn't just her hormones. She gave Emily a look that would have melted solid steel. Emily crumbled.

* * *

"Hey," Emily said softly, running her fingers through Paige's hair, which was slightly moist from sweat. Her face was curled up in concern. "Are you okay? I know this was kind of a first for you."

Paige nodded. "I'm fine, Em. Thanks for checking."

"I'm sorry, Paige. I don't know what came over me."

Paige smiled, pulling Emily closer to her. Feeling the heat coming from Emily's body and inhaling the scent that was uniquely Emily cemented the memory of the experience they had just shared in Paige's brain. She would never be the same - and not because she had slept with a woman. She and Emily had shared the most beautiful and intimate act of love. There was no going back. Not that Paige would want to. "Don't be sorry," she whispered. "I'm not."


	23. Baby Talk

"A Girl!" Paige was beaming as she strapped herself into the passenger seat of Emily's car. She couldn't help noticing that the seat felt somehow smaller than it used to. "A beautiful, healthy, perfect little girl!"

Emily smiled, Paige's enthusiasm contagious. "Ten fingers, ten toes," she mused.

Paige sighed joyfully. "Of course," she continued, her tone turning sober, "it's going to be a little rough on Wayne. He told me that he doesn't want to be outnumbered."

"Yeah?" Emily smiled over at Paige before turning her attention back to the road, as she tried to exit the clinic's parking lot. "I guess I'd better have a boy, kind of even up the odds a little."

Paige took Emily's hand, a faux-sincere expression on her face. "You would do that for him?"

Emily played along. "What can I say? I love that kid!" She laughed, and Paige laughed along with her. One thing she wasn't kidding about: She really did love Wayne.

"But, seriously," she said, "you know I planned to have at least one more kid anyway, though."

Paige nodded. "Well, maybe just start with another dog.  _Prince._ "

Emily sneered at Paige. "Ha ha." A half-block farther down the road, she turned to her and said, "So, I guess you'll have to start thinking about girls' names, now."

Paige put her index finger up to her lip contemplatively. "You know, I've always liked the name Pam…"

Emily smiled. "Seriously? Pam?" Paige nodded. "Paige, you know that's my Mom's name…" Paige couldn't keep a straight face. Emily slapped her on the shoulder for teasing her.

"I don't know." Paige rubbed her shoulder as if she were in pain. "What kind of names do you like?"

"Paige," Emily began, looking over at her with her lip curled.

"What?"

"You don't have to get my opinion about your daughter's name."

"Well, yeah, but, we're in this together, Em. And I'd like to think that we're going to be together for a while. It should at least be a name that you don't hate."

Emily didn't try to fight the smile that was tugging at her lips. "Really? That's how you… really?"

Paige nodded. "I mean, I know it's too soon to talk about moving in together, much less marriage, but I guess I assumed that you'd be a part of this baby's life."

"Well, I wasn't sure," Emily said slowly. "I mean, I know you said that you didn't want Trevor to think that you needed any help to raise Wayne."

"Yeah. So?"

"So, maybe you... I don't know. Maybe you don't need anyone to help raise this baby."  _Maybe you don't need me._

"Em." Paige turned slightly in her seat - as much as her baby bump would allow. "I don't want Trevor thinking that Wayne and I are dependent on him, because Trevor's a scumbag. But that doesn't mean that I'm some kind of lone wolf who thinks she can do everything on her own. I'd be stupid to think that. And I'd be stupid to think that this baby's life would be better off without you being a part of it."

Emily took her eyes off the road momentarily so that Paige could see the smile plastered on her face. "Really?"

"Really."

Emily bit her lip and turned her eyes back onto the road. She was grateful that she was driving, so that she didn't have to look into Paige's eyes for what she was about to say. "Well," she said softly, "what if it's not too soon?"

"Not too soon for what?"

Emily shrugged her shoulders dismissively, trying to keep it casual. "I mean… maybe it makes sense for you to move into my house. Not that it  _means_  anything, but it's just more convenient. I mean, let's face it, you don't have a lot of space in your apartment…"

"Emily, I couldn't ask you to do that."

"You didn't ask. I'm offering. It would just be more… convenient." Emily knew that she was nervous, because she could hear that she was repeating herself. "Like… if we… kept the cradle… in our room… then we could take turns sitting up with her, if she woke up in the middle of the night.

" _Our_  room?"

Emily turned to look at Paige, with a half-terrified look on her face, worried that she had gone too far, too fast. She was about to walk back the slip of her tongue when she noticed how wide the smile on Paige's face was. "What do you think?" she managed to ask, her voice was high-pitched from nerves.

Paige laid a hand on Emily's thigh. "I think if you weren't driving, I'd be kissing the hell out of you right now!"

* * *

Paige and Emily knew that they had done the right thing in moving in together. They reassured each other of that often. On an almost daily basis, in fact. But the fact that they had to reassure each other so often was an indication that it wasn't all smooth sailing.

It's always difficult for two people to come together under the same roof for the first time. Paige and Emily were no exception. And the fact that they hadn't known each other for very long didn't help matters much.

In the beginning, it was exciting; a new adventure. They were learning things about each other – good, bad, and weird. There were little things, like toothbrushing, which, for Paige, was an entire ritual. Brushing. Flossing. Dental rinse. Gum stimulator. Emily timed her once. Paige added a full 13 minutes to her nightly routine just for her teeth. It was cute, in those first few days, but, at some point, Emily just wanted to get the lights out and get to sleep.

And there was the way that Emily did the laundry. Everything had to be meticulously sorted; whites, bright colors, dark colors, delicates, fabrics. What would have been one load for Paige turned out to be five loads, doing it Emily's way. And things had to be pulled out of the dryer as soon as it beeped; sooner, in the case of towels. Emily liked to hang the towels when they were slightly damp and let the air dry them the rest of the way. Paige never learned why.

Also complicating matters was that it wasn't just the two of them learning how to live together under the same roof. It affected Anna and Wayne as well, of course. They were good friends before they moved in, so that made things easier at the outset. But after a week or so, Anna started to feel like the hostess at a party where the guests just don't know when it's time to leave. One night, after Paige and Emily tucked her into bed, she asked Emily to stay behind. "Mommy," she whispered, "how much longer are Ms. Paige and Wayne going to stay?"

Emily was a little heartbroken. She thought that she had made it clear that this was a permanent arrangement, but she realized that permanent wasn't an easy concept for someone Anna's age to wrap her head around. And Anna hadn't had any prior experience with it; Emily hadn't lived with anyone in Anna's lifetime.

Not everything was difficult. There were some pleasant surprises. Bedtime was one. Paige was an incredible storyteller. She didn't just read bedtime stories; she made the books come alive. Emily was as surprised and as entertained as Anna was.

Paige and Wayne, for their part, liked the difference at dinner time. Dinner was a family affair, from the preparation to the eating to the cleanup. Everyone had a role. And Emily kept it light; borderline fun. There was always music in her kitchen as they put the meal together: Salsa music for Mexican food, Italian opera for pasta night; Country/Western for barbecue. Friday nights were kids' choice. Anything was possible, within reason. That included the music, as well. That usually meant a nonsensical hodgepodge of dishes paired with random music, but that was fine. It wasn't about gourmet food or expert planning. It was about giving the kids a night when their choices mattered, and about getting them to think creatively. As a teacher, Paige was impressed.

* * *

"What's your middle name?" Paige asked, during one of the conversations when they were trying to come up with a name that they both liked.

"Tereza," Emily said, with a weary sigh.

"Oh. That's a pretty name." Paige furrowed her brow at Emily's sigh and her body language. "You don't like it?"

"No, it's fine. It's just… we have this  _thing_  in my family. Everyone's middle name starts with a T."

"What?" Paige shook her head, still unsure why Emily was making such a big deal out of it. "That's kind of cute. I like family traditions like that."

Emily cocked her head to the side and repeated the word, "Everyone." Paige could tell by her inflection and the way that she was staring at her that there was something else at play. Once she figured it out, her eyes went wide and she started laughing.

"Oh! ... Oh!" Emily rolled her eyes, familiar with the kind of stuff that followed, once people put two and two together. She curled her fingers at Paige, as if telling her to bring it on. "So, your dad's initials are…"

"Yep!"

Paige couldn't stop laughing. "So, when someone puts some official paperwork on his desk for him to initial, he puts down…"

"Fortunately, he's in so big a hurry when he's initialing documents that his initials are pretty much illegible."

"Yeah, but, I mean, just imagine it: You've been working on a proposal for weeks, you give it to your commanding officer, and he scribbles 'WTF' on it and gives it back!"

"I'm sure he just puts 'WF' on them, Paige. At least, ever since he found out what 'WTF' stands for."

"Good thing his name's Wayne not Dwayne, huh?"

"Paige!"

Paige, still laughing uncontrollably, waved her hands in front of her. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

Emily exhaled. "That's exactly what Hanna said. Well, actually, she said I should've name Anna "Deanna," but…"

Once Paige's laughter faded, she asked, "What's Deanna's – I mean, Anna's middle name?" It had been an honest mistake, but Emily didn't take it that way. "Sorry, Em," Paige said, sobering up quickly under the cold, icy glare that Emily was shooting her. "But, seriously, what's her middle name."

"Tina," Emily said. She leaned over the table. "Actually, it's Kristina, but not a word to my parents!"

* * *

"Hey, Lil Wayne!"

"Dad!" Emily chided sharply, "You can't call him that?"

"Why not?" Wayne asked innocently. "How else are we going to distinguish him from me?"

"Then, call him Lit-tle Wayne!" Emily emphasized both syllables. "Seriously, have you ever said, 'Lil' before in your life?"

"Aw, Lil Wayne here doesn't mind! Do you?" Wayne pulled Paige's son up to eye level. He shook his head giddily. As far as he was concerned, the playful stranger could call him whatever he wanted, as long as he kept tossing him over his shoulder, dangling him upside down, and zooming him around like an airplane. Wayne raised him up so that he was taller. "You know," said, rocking him back and forth, "one of these days,  _I'm_  going to be Lil Wayne!"

Emily rolled her eyes and looked apologetically at Paige. But Paige was full-on laughing. She couldn't get over the fact that Emily's parents had flown halfway across the country to be there to support her when she had the baby. A baby who wasn't even biologically related to them at all. It wasn't as if she and Emily were married, or even living together, except as a matter of convenience. And they definitely hadn't planned to add a baby to their family.

Emily gave in and smiled, although she didn't let her father see that she was smiling. She, too, was amazed at them, and proud of how far they'd come since she was first outed, back in high school. She hadn't even asked them to fly out for Paige. When she told them that Paige was pregnant and that the two of them had decided to move in together, Pam and Wayne just announced that they would be there for the delivery, as if it were a natural fact.

Although they hadn't met Paige before the trip, they approved of her from the start – which wasn't always the case with Emily's girlfriends. Perhaps it was had something to do with the fact that Paige had a child; they saw her as more of an adult, more responsible. Or perhaps Wayne just wanted a namesake. Whatever it was, it was a blessing. And it would certainly make things easier when the time came for Paige to give birth.

"So, have you decided on a name yet?" Pam was looking at Paige when she asked the question, but Paige deflected, turning to Emily. Emily pointed her hand at Paige, throwing the question back to her. It was, after all, her child. Also, Emily didn't want Paige to defer to her, when it came to her parents. Pam and Wayne were a huge part of Emily's life. She wanted Paige to get comfortable with them.

"We… decided on Michelle," Paige announced, looking first at Emily, who was looking back at her. Together, in an unplanned but perfectly synchronized maneuver, they turned to face Pam and then Wayne, smiling, waiting for their reaction. "One of its meanings is 'Gift from God,' and we want her to know that she was a gift to us, you know. An unexpected blessing."

"And it's a very strong name," Emily continued. "We want her to identify with strong women, like Michelle Obama."

* * *

When Paige's water broke, the family snapped into action. Aunt Miriam loaded the kids into Wayne's SUV for their daytrip to Philadelphia. Emily got Paige and her gear loaded into her car for the trip to Rosewood General. Pam kept her phone out, chronicling the entire event. She had to plug it in a couple of times over the course of the 9 hours or so of labor. All that videography was rough on the battery.

Paige was hungry, dehydrated, and covered in perspiration by the time it was over, but she definitely had a glow. Michelle was a healthy 7 pounds and 21 inches. She had a greater resemblance to Trevor than Wayne did. Wayne had always had that McCullers air about him.

* * *

Emily opened an eye to peer at the clock when she heard Paige ease the bedroom door open. It was a little after 3:30. Emily heard Paige pace softly over to the bassinet and lay Michelle down inside, trying as much not to wake her as not to wake Emily. Emily felt the bed dip as Paige climbed in on her side. Paige kissed her lightly on the back of her head and reached under the back of Emily's T-shirt, planting her hand on Emily's back. Emily moaned contentedly. There was a feeling of comfort with Paige's hand on her back – for her as well as for Paige. Without turning around, Emily spoke. "She finally went down?" She felt Paige nod behind her.

"Sorry." Paige was whispering, although Emily had spoken in a normal voice. "I was trying not to wake you."

"I wasn't asleep," Emily said, turning around. She interlaced her fingers with Paige's fingers, on the hand that had just been on her back. "I was just lying here, thinking."

"About what?"

Emily was already feeling emotional, and hearing Paige's voice, in that low rumble that she always used when she was feeling romantic, just about pushed her over the edge.

"About us. And the kids. And about how much easier it is, with the two of us. I mean, it was great the way that my parents and my friends pitched in when Anna was born, and I wouldn't change it for the world. But it's just so much better with the two of us. You know. When I'm feeling down, you can pick up the slack, and, when you're having a bad day, I can pick up the slack."

Paige wasn't saying anything and Emily worried that she had hurt her feelings. She kissed her, softly, asking with her eyes what was the matter. Paige dipped her head.

"If you had been looking for 'easier,' you never would have invited us to move in with you."

"I was looking for a  _family_ , Paige." Emily put her hand high on Paige's chest and stroked it softly. "I was looking for  _this_. You, me, us. You climbing into our bed after staying up all night, getting our daughter to fall asleep."

Paige held Emily close. "Sometimes, I forget… I – I'm just… amazed that you feel like that. I'm amazed that you love me."

"I'm amazed that you found me," Emily said softly. "Every day, on this journey together, I'm amazed that I could be so lucky."

They looked into each other's eyes for an eternity before Emily, seeing the weariness in Paige's expression, turned around with a smile and backed herself against Paige's body. Paige's arms encircled her on reflex. Everything they needed was right there with them, in that home, in that embrace, in that moment.


	24. Living Together

"So, this wasn't just helping us out, this was… a lot more than that" Paige smiled at the thought of the real reason that she and Emily were living together.

Emily gasped. She looked confused. Or hurt. Paige wasn't really sure, but she regretted what she had just said, even though she didn't know why Emily had reacted badly.

"You thought this was just some… arrangement for  _convenience_?" Emily pushed her plate away, having suddenly lost her appetite. She folded her arms across her waist.

Wayne and Anna were at school, and Michelle was down for a nap. The early afternoon lunch at the kitchen table had become a ritual that Paige and Emily had come to enjoy. It was one of the things they had decided to make the most of while they could, before Paige's maternity leave ended and she headed back to work. This particular lunch, though, had taken a turn.

Paige wasn't sure why Emily was reacting the way that she was. They had talked about this, before Paige and Wayne moved in.

"But, we both agreed that it was too soon for anything more than that, back when I moved in."

"You think it's too soon?" Emily's tone was accusing. "And yet you slept in my bed every night."

 _Because you suggested it!_  Paige didn't know what had changed. But she could see that there was no point in arguing. Throwing her hands up, she made an attempt to concede. "Well, I guess I'm just the stupidest girl on the planet."

Emily scoffed. "That's an understatement."

Emily didn't normally hit below the belt like that. Paige recognized the behavior. Emily was wounded, and she was lashing out. But Paige didn't know how to fix it. She tried to deflect. "Look, I'm new at this…"

"Don't you dare!" Emily wagged a finger in Paige's face, cutting her off. "Don't you dare try to make this a baby lesbian thing! This isn't a 'lesbian thing!' It's a… a… a  _human_ thing. I mean, what kind of human being…" Emily's voice got high-pitched as the tears started to come. It was breaking Paige's heart to see her like that, especially since she was the cause of it. And she still didn't know how they'd gotten there. She had made a simple comment, an attempt to celebrate what they had together, but, somehow, it had gone horribly wrong. She didn't know what to do, and she didn't want to keep doing it to the woman she loved.

"Do you want me to move out?"

Emily's face fell and her jaw dropped open in shock. "You want to leave me?" Emily burst uncontrollably into tears. Paige reached for Emily's hand, but Emily pulled away, withdrawing into herself and shaking her head. Paige stood up and walked over to her chair, but Emily turned away. She wasn't angry, and she wasn't rejecting Paige. She didn't want Paige to see her, or to comfort her. Paige was strong enough to walk away from her – from  _them_  – and Emily didn't want her to see how weak she, herself, was.

Paige, despite Emily's protests, took her in her arms and just held her. It didn't stop the tears, but it did make Emily feel safe. "Of course, I don't want to leave you, Em," Paige intoned softly.

Emily aggressively pushed Paige off of her. "Then why would you say that?" she demanded, yelling out of desperation.

Paige ran her fingers through her hair, trying to get a handle on things. She was finding it hard to think clearly, with Emily looking at her like an enraged tiger. She didn't want to throw any more gasoline onto the fire.

"Be… because I don't know what to say or what to do. It kills me to see you like this, Em, and to know that I'm the reason that you're feeling the way you are." Paige brushed her hair back again, letting out a frustrated puff of air. "Look, I was just trying to celebrate the fact that you and I are together."

"I don't get how, it's only  _now_ , all of a sudden, we're together! I let you in my bed, Paige!"

"I know!" Paige didn't mean to yell. She knew that she shouldn't match Emily's tension, but it was hard not to. "I know!" she repeated. "And I've spent the last four months trying not to take advantage of that. Because I didn't know how you felt, because you said that it just made sense, for the baby, for us to share a bedroom. Do you know how much I  _wanted_  us to be together? How hard it was for me to tell myself not to do anything inappropriate? How much…"

Emily interrupted Paige with a kiss. She still thought that Paige was wrong. But she realized that she was wrong, too. There was enough blame to go around, but, in the end, it was just a misunderstanding. Misunderstandings were a part of any relationship. In good relationships, both sides move past them.

She stroked Paige's hair. "Just don't ever say you're going to move out again, okay?"

Paige nodded. "I'm sorry."

"If we have a disagreement, let's talk it over before we break up our family."

Paige nodded again. She was smiling inside, realizing that they really were a family.

"I'm sorry, too," Emily said softly.

* * *

"I don't understand women," Paige admitted. "Guys are so much easier."

Spencer smirked knowingly, nodding her head with her eyes closed. "Girl problems?" She curled her fingers, fluttering them back and forth. "Talk to me."

"Well, no, just… Well, Emily and I had this… I don't even know what it was. A… heated discussion, I guess? - All because I said it was great that we were actually living together, not just, you know, sharing a house."

"You  _just_ figured that out?"

"Well, no, I…"

"Paige, you're sleeping in the same bed!"

"What, did she discuss this with you?" Spencer rolled her eyes. "Okay, I know you wouldn't be able to tell me, if she did."

"No, I… Well, yeah, I wouldn't tell you if we had, but… Come on, Paige! I don't have to have a discussion with Emily to figure out what that's about!"

Paige opened her mouth to say something but shook her head instead. "Well, I must just be the stupidest woman on the planet!"

"And you still think it's because women are harder to understand?"

"Oh, God, yeah!" Spencer scoffed. "Come on, Spencer! I wouldn't have this problem with a guy! Women always  _say_  that they're direct and that they speak their minds, but Emily explicitly told me that we weren't ready to 'live-together' live together, and that we should share a bedroom because it would make things easier when the baby came…"

"And if a guy had told you that he didn't want to live together, but he wanted to share a bed?"

"Well, yeah – that could only mean one thing. I mean, you know how guys are…"

"So maybe the problem isn't that women are hard to understand? Maybe the problem is…"

"That I've got my head up my ass!" Paige dropped her head into her hands, rubbing her temples, her forehead, and her cheeks between her hands. "God, I really  _am_  stupid!"

"I wouldn't go that far." Spencer condescendingly patted Paige on the shoulder. "But you've definitely got some blind spots."

* * *

"You must've been pretty pissed, Em."

Hanna was pushing Michelle's stroller as she and Emily went window shopping through downtown Rosewood.

"I wasn't really angry so much as... stunned and surprised and..." Emily nodded, finally admitting to herself what she had been denying. "Yeah. I was pretty pissed."

"I bet! I mean, damn! What was she thinking?"

"Well," Emily said, much more calm than she had been the night before, "I can see it from her perspective. I mean, it was just a misunderstanding. Nobody's right; nobody's wrong." A few steps later, Emily whispered, "But I'm a little more right."

"But you guys worked it out?"

Emily nodded her head. "We worked it out. And we agreed that we were going to be more honest and up-front about our feelings from now on."

Hanna scoffed. "Yeah. As if that'll ever happen."

"Well, it had  _better_  happen," Emily insisted.

"You really love her, don't you?"

Emily nodded, raising her baby finger to her mouth and giving it a small bite.

"So, how was the makeup sex?"

Emily knew from the moment that the conversation started that Hanna was would work her way around to that question. Still, she couldn't help blushing when it finally came. She inhaled at the memory. "Mind-blowing," Emily responded dreamily, making Hanna's eyes light up. "Yeah. It made up for… a lot."

"Kind of makes you want to pick more fights with Paige, am I right?" Hanna offered up a high five. Emily waved it off, shaking her head.

"But, seriously, though. Part of me can't wait till Paige gets off maternity leave and starts teaching again. I can't wait to see what she's like after a whole day in the classroom, dealing with those rowdy kids!"

Hanna shared a laugh with her, putting her arm around her shoulder. "You're incorrigible!"

Emily was surprised to hear that word coming from Hanna. "'Incorrigible?' Really?"

Hanna shrugged. "That's what Spencer calls me whenever I say something like that!"

* * *

"Mommy!"

Emily panicked when she heard the scream from the backyard. Dropping her phone where she sat, she ran outside to see what had happened.

"What happened?"

"I hurt my knee!"

Emily looked over the wound. There was a little blood, but it wasn't too bad. She gathered her child up into her arms. "Well, I guess we'd better get you a band-aid then.

Once inside, she set him on the counter and retrieved the first aid kit from the cabinet under the sink. She carefully washed the wound and applied a band-aid.

"There you go! Good as new!" she said with a smile.

"Can I have a hug?"

"Of course you can, Sweetheart." She threw in a kiss as well.

"Thank you, Mommy."

Emily was stunned. In her earlier state of panic, at the sound of a panicked scream from the backyard, it hadn't occurred to her that Wayne had called her "Mommy" - rather than his usual, "Ms. Emily."

"Don't cry, Mommy," Wayne said as they separated and he saw the tears in her eyes. "My knee feels better."

"I know, Wayne," Emily said with a smile. "Mommy's just being silly."

"Okay," he said, rubbing her back the way he had seen his birth mother rub it, to comfort her. "Can I go play now?"

Emily nodded, too overcome with emotion to form words.

Later that evening, she discussed the incident with Paige.

"Wayne was out playing in the backyard this afternoon and he fell."

"Yeah, he told me. He showed me the band-aid you put on him." Paige chuckled. "He's really proud of that band-aid."

"Did he tell you what he called me?"

Paige was a little worried. "What did he call you?"

"He was out in the backyard screaming, "Mommy! Mommy!"

Paige's eyes widened. "Really?"

"I thought maybe you told him to."

Paige shook her head. "Are you okay with that?"

Emily smiled to herself. "Of course I am!" After a moment of appreciating the memory, she thought to ask, "Are  _you_  okay with it?"

"Oh, yeah, sure. I guess the only other question is..."

"Is Anne okay with it?"

* * *

Emily was the one who put Anne to bed that night. Before she kissed her goodnight, she sat on the bed to discuss the day's events.

"Honey, I wanted to talk to you about something that happened today." Anna nodded. "Today, when Wayne scraped his knee, he... Well, sometimes, when people are hurt or afraid, they say what their heart is thinking instead of what their head is thinking. Do you understand?" Anna shrugged her shoulders. "Well, when Wayne needed my help, instead of saying, 'Ms. Emily' the way he usually does, he called, 'Mommy.'" Anna nodded but didn't say anything. "I just wanted to make sure you understood why he did that."

"Because we're a family," Anna said, without hesitation, thinking that Emily was giving her a quiz of some sort.

"Well, that's true," Emily said slowly, "but, we're a different kind of family."

"Because we have two mommies."

"Yes, that's right," Emily said, surprised that this was what Anna thought she was referring to. Anna didn't seemed surprised or jealous about the fact that Wayne had called her his mother.

"There are all kinds of families," Anna explained, showing off what she'd been taught in school. "Some have just one mommy or daddy, and some have both a mommy and a daddy, and some have two mommies or two daddies."

"That's right," Emily said.

"And Wayne, Michelle, and I have two mommies."

Emily hugged her daughter, her heart filled with pride. As she thought about how her family had truly blended, her mind went back to the song Hanna had improvised, back when none of that was a reality.

_That's the way we became the Gay-dy Bunch._

* * *

"So, apparently," Emily announced, smiling at the news that she was about to share as she joined Paige under the covers, "you and I are both 'Mommy,' and, if there's ever a need to distinguish between the two of us, I'm 'Mommy Em,' and you're 'Mommy P.'"

"'Mommy Em?' Not 'Mommy E?''"

Emily shrugged. "Hey - I didn't make the rules. Our kids did."

Paige liked the sound of that; not, " _the_  kids;" " _our_  kids." True, Emily could have meant it as "Your kid and my kid," but Paige chose to take it as their kids, together. She chuckled, amused. "Kids... They're still at that age where they have a lot of language elasticity."

Emily shook her head, giving Paige a kiss. "I love how you know things..."

"Yeah, well. Early childhood degree. What can I say."

"So, you're okay with Mommy P?"

Paige gathered Emily in for a hug. There was no need for her to answer with words. They were both so proud of their children.

Paige turned to lie on her back, one hand behind her head and one underneath Emily's shoulders. "It's kind of funny, when you think about it."

Emily turned onto her side, so that she could see Paige's face. "What is?"

"Well, even though I was too dense to pick up on the fact that we're one family now, Anna and Wayne figured it out without having to be told."

Emily rolled her eyes. She had moved on from Paige's obliviousness about what they were to each other, but she still had a hard time understanding the fact that Paige didn't know. "I guess we need to work on your relationship elasticity."

Paige set her phone over on the nightstand and turned on Emily. She had a different kind of elasticity in mind for them, to celebrate this new relationship milestone.


	25. A Good Team

Emily was uncharacteristically nervous as she worked her way around in the kitchen. This night had to be perfect. But everything was going wrong.

Anna and Wayne were spending the night with Paige's aunt, Miriam. They always had a fun time with her, but, for some reason, Wayne chose that night to cop an attitude about it. He turned into a hypochondriac; his head hurt, he had an earache, he was certain that he was going to throw up. In short, he didn't want to go.

Michelle took forever to go down for her nap, leaving Emily on her own at the start of dinner preparations. Paige came in to help just as Emily was sliding the roast into the oven, and Emily, startled, dropped the pan, sending the roast airborne. Emily saw it flying through the air as if in slow motion. "Noooooooo" she cried as her eyes followed its trajectory, a perfect arc, into the garbage can. It would have been one of those perfect, "America's Funniest Home Videos" moments - tragic to the person it happened to; funny to the rest of the country - if only they had captured it on video.

Emily was almost in tears. Paige took her in her arms and held her, to steady her. "Well," she said philosophically, "I guess we're eating vegan tonight!"

Something in the way she said it struck Emily as funny, and she started laughing. "At least Aria will be glad," she said with a sigh. The humor calmed her, a little, if only temporarily. "Oh, Paige," she sighed, "are we going to be okay?"

Paige kissed the top of her head. "We'll be fine. Your friends all know us, so it's not as if we have to be worried about making a good impression. And they love us, which means they'll be here for us, not for the food."

As much as Emily wanted to believe what Paige said, she still saw the night as a first impression. It was the first time that Paige and Emily were entertaining as a couple. They had been out with the girls before, and they had even cooked for them before, but this was their shot at putting together a get-together when they were officially together. They weren't doing anything lavish; it was just the three girls and their guys. But Emily wanted them to see how good she and Paige were together, and how much in love they were. It was a relationship rite of passage, of sorts. Emily had been their when (more than once) when her three best friends did it.

"I know," Emily said softly. "I just want everything to be perfect."

"That doesn't sound like you," Paige said gently. "That sounds more like me!"

"Yeah, how come you're not freaking out?" Emily asked, with a playful slap of Paige's chest. The question came out annoyed, but Emily was actually just amazed.

"Because - this is supposed to be fun." Paige cooed. "And sometimes, those nights that are disasters are the most fun. And, in any event, they're certainly the most memorable. It's like having sex with someone for the first time - sometimes it's more fun when everything goes wrong."

Emily chuckled softly. "That's not how you felt when it was  _our_  first time!"

"Yeah, but you had to admit, it was funny, looking back on it."

Emily sighed, deflated. "Why can't it be fun while it happens and fun looking back on it?"

"It will be," Paige assured her. "You just have to relax and let it happen."

Emily laughed once, before she got herself under control. "That's exactly what I told you, our first time." But Paige was not a relax-and-let-it-happen kind of person. Emily gave her a hug, taking a moment to savor the sensation. "You always know how to calm me down."

* * *

As dinnertime drew closer, Emily's nerves grew more intense. Paige could see her trembling. "Em, would you do me a favor and take a look at the guest bathroom? I never got around to checking the toilet paper and soap."

Emily smiled. "Giving me a job to take my mind off it?" It was the same technique that Emily used with the kids.

"I learned from the best..."

Emily dutifully shuffled off to check the bathroom, which clearly didn't need checking. But, even though Emily saw through Paige's strategy, it still worked. Emily took a few breaths, looking at herself in the mirror. She burst out laughing. These were her friends. It was supposed to be fun. She had no reason to be so worried.

* * *

Aria was the first to wiped her hands on a kitchen towel when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it." Emily, who had been leaning on the counter surveying everything, was getting ready to get the door herself, but she deferred to Paige. It was better, she thought, for Paige to get the door. Everyone was used to thinking of it as Emily's house. Paige answering the door would subtly reinforce the message that it was  _their_  house.

Aria was the last single member of the group, after Paige and Emily got together. She pleasantly single, at least for the time being. She had taken some time to get herself together; to figure out what she wanted and didn't want during this season of her life. Her voyage of discovery had taken her to all the great Western European capitals, with plenty of time to enjoy the small, country towns along the way. Finally back in Rosewood, she was in no hurry to find someone. She didn't need someone to complete her, and she was enjoying the feeling of independence. She greeted Paige with a hug and a homemade pie. "I figured I'd leave the wine to the expert," she explained with a wink.

"Spencer?" Paige said with a laugh. Aria pointed her fingers like pistols at Paige, signifying she'd gotten it right.

Spencer and Toby weren't far behind Aria, bearing wine and cheese, to no one's surprise. Paige opened the bottle to let it breathe, and Emily arranged the cheese plate. "How is it I've never met you before?" Paige asked, when Spencer introduced her to Toby.

"Yeah - it's about time," Spencer chimed in.

Hanna and Caleb were, predictably, the last to arrive. Emily, in an attempt to get them there on-time (or close to on-time, anyway) had told Hanna that dinner was at 6, even though she told Spencer and Aria 6:30. Unfortunately, she had played that card once too often, and Hanna was wise to it. She made it a point to be late, just to let Emily know that she couldn't be duped.

* * *

All of the mini-crises that had gotten Emily so worried turned out to be nothing, in the grand scheme of things - or even in the moment. Dinner went off without a hitch, and all of their friends got a chance to see how good she and Paige were together.

When it was over, and Paige and Emily were cleaning up, Paige noticed that Emily was back to being her old self, moving joyfully and rhythmically through the kitchen, sharing the occasional memory from the evening as she did. She had been energized by the time with her friends - and her girlfriend. it was great to see.

"You really wanted to be on Team Spencer," Emily teased, stroking a finger across Paige's cheek with an iridescent smile.

After dinner, they had pulled out the game "Taboo," with each of the couples forming a team. Aria, being single, floated among the teams, guessing along with whichever team was giving clues.

Paige chuckled nervously. "Team Spencer?" she said, affecting pure innocence with her tone. "Why would you say that?"

"I saw you," Emily proclaimed good-naturedly, in a slight sing-song voice. "I saw you rolling your eyes and digging your fingers into your thigh whenever Toby and Aria didn't pick up on one of her clues."

"Oh, my goodness, Em!" Paige was suddenly animated. "She was giving such obvious clues! How could they not have picked up on them?"

"Obvious to  _you_ , maybe!" Emily swatted at Paige's shoulder. "Seriously, what is this weird connection that the two of you have? I swear, it's as if you were twins, separated at birth, or something." Emily waved her hand dismissively.

Paige drew herself in close, taking hold of Emily's elbows. In her deepest, raspy voice, she intoned, "Are you jealous?"

Emily laughed at the suggestion. There may have been a time when she was, but not anymore; not since she knew that Paige was all hers. "No..." she cooed in response to Paige's question. She put her arms on Paige's shoulders. "I don't have any reason to be jealous. Not when I'm the only one who can do this."

Emily reached underneath Paige's curtain of hair, stroking a spot on the back of her neck with her fingers. Paige's knees went weak, and her stomach fluttered. "Oh, God!" she moaned desperately.

No one else had ever found that spot. Not even Trevor, in all their time together, had found that spot. Paige herself hadn't known that it existed. And maybe it didn't exist, before Emily. Maybe it was simply lying dormant, like some ancient monster in a horror movie, flash-frozen in a pre-historic ice age and lying suspended throughout several millennia, until just the right conditions aroused her.

Paige wasn't capable of deep thoughts like that (or even shallow thoughts), in that moment. All the blood had drained from her brain. Emily could feel the warmth against her, in the region to which the blood had been re-routed. In those moments, there was only one thing that Paige's mind could manage. There was no other possible outcome.

The next thing Emily knew, she was in Paige's arms, her legs flailing wildly as Paige carried her off to bed. "Paige!" she protested desperately, "What about the dishes?"

"They can wait," Paige growled.

That wasn't the Paige Emily knew. That was Primal Paige, and Primal Paige was just what Emily needed; the perfect ending to a wonderful evening.

Emily knew that Paige would be back in the kitchen in the early hours, when she knew that Emily was too deep in sleep to be roused by the clacking of the dishes as she washed them. That was the Paige Emily knew. But there, falling as if in slow motion onto the bed, her heart beating out of control in anticipation of Paige falling on top of her a breath or so later, the only thing that mattered was that Paige was  _hers._

* * *

"We're here, Michelle!"  
"Michelle, we're here!"

Anna and Wayne spoke almost in unison as they turned towards the car seat that sat between them in the back of the van to announce that they had arrived at the zoo. Not that Michelle understood what the zoo was, or even that her name was Michelle. Anna and Wayne were undeterred by that.

Paige had originally made arrangements for her aunt to watch Michelle for the day - something that she was more than eager to do - but Anna and Wayne insisted. They wanted to show their little sister all of the animals and the attractions that had captivated them at the zoo. They had been like that with her since the when day she came home from the hospital, and they insisted that Paige place her carrier in front of the TV, so that she could watch their favorite show, "Little Einsteins."

After they paid their admission, Paige stopped off to pick up a map. The children were perfectly content to run around willy nilly, but Paige wanted to make a plan, so that they would maximize their time there.

It didn't work out that way, though; in the end, she gave in to their need to run around and be met by surprise after surprise.

* * *

"Do you want to go to the insectarium?" Emily said leaning closer to Paige, in a voice that was supposed to sound sexy.

Paige laughed it off. "Don't worry, Em," she said, still smiling. "You're not going to have to go in there today."

"But I don't want to deprive the kids of that... They loved it so much, the last time."

"Yeah, they did," Paige said whimsically. "But we're not chaperones, this time. If they want to go, I can go with them. You can stay out here with Michelle."

Emily took hold of Paige's hand, because Paige didn't seem to be getting the point. "I think it's time for me to face my fears. Be brave for the kids' sake."

Paige choked out a laugh. "Is this some cheap trick to get me to hold your hand?" she teased. "Because, you know you can hold my hand whenever you want. You don't have to use insects as an excuse."

Emily's protest cam a little to forcefully. "No!" she practically shouted.  _Not anymore. Not after you made me feel silly for wanting to relive that moment._  She let go of Paige's hand abruptly.

Emily had never forgotten that first day at the zoo, or that feeling of her hand being held by Paige. She had been on pins and needles the whole day. And then, when Paige took her hand, it felt so incredible. What was so wrong with wanting to recreate that feeling?

But Paige wasn't sentimental like that. And Emily decided that it was okay. It wasn't worth pouting over. Paige was incredible in so many other ways.

Paige reached for Emily's hand, but Emily had crossed her arms around her waist, so Paige's reach came up empty. She put her arm around Emily's shoulder, instead. "That day was such a revelation to me," she said wistfully, looking up at the sky. "I wanted to hold your hand so badly, but I couldn't make a move. And then, when you said that you were afraid of insects... It was as if the heavens parted and an angelic choir started singing."

Emily looked down with a shy smile and unfolded her arms, taking Paige's hand.

"Wow," Paige said, looking heavenward. "Is that a choir I hear?"

"I really was afraid, by the way," Emily said. "It wasn't just an excuse to hold your hand."

"Oh, no kidding?" Paige's voice was dripping with sarcasm. Paige had gotten used to Emily's blood-curdling screams, whenever she came across something in the house that crawled, beckoning Paige or whoever else happened to be within earshot to come and take care of it.

And taking care of it definitely did not mean killing it. Paige learned that the hard way, the first time she rescued Emily from a bug. Emily spent the rest of the night fighting off tears, feeling unremitting guilty that her fears had resulted in the death of one of God's creatures. Paige learned to be adept at catch-and-release - coaxing the tiny intruder onto a piece of paper or into a jar, to set it free in the backyard.

* * *

"Oh, man," Paige said, slightly out of breath. "How can this be harder with only three of them than it was with their whole class?" She detoured to a bench to fan herself and catch her breath.

"Haven't quite bounced back from the pregnancy yet, have you?" Emily teased, knowing full well what a sore point that was for Paige. Paige liked to think of herself as invincible; immortal, but the truth of the matter was that she was tired all the time. Anybody would be, after carrying a child for nine months, ten hours of labor, and the disruptions to the sleep cycle that come with a newborn. Paige had no reason to be ashamed. Still, Emily enjoyed teasing her about it. She knew that she wouldn't be have that to hold over Paige's head much longer. Paige had already started getting back into the gym and the pool.

"Ha ha ha," Paige said dryly. "If I weren't so exhausted, I'd get you for that!"

Emily crinkled her nose in apology and took a seat next to Paige. "Well, actually, it's different with a group of children. They tend to amuse themselves, rather than demanding so much attention from the adults."

Paige chuckled and looked at Emily, a little amazed. "You never told me you studied Early Childhood Education."

"I didn't," Emily said with a straight face. "They taught us that in Criminal Justice. That's why we try to keep the Rosewood Jail full of inmates - they practically supervise themselves!"

It had taken Emily a while to get used to Paige's dry sense of humor, but, once she did, she figured out how to give it right back to Paige. Paige reach over to hug her, pleasantly surprised that Emily was joking that way, and enjoying their time together, before the children needed their attention.

* * *

One advantage of going as a family rather than with the class was that they were able to do things that wouldn't have worked with a large group, like letting Anna and Wayne ride the ponies, and paddling around the pond in the duck boats. Not only were these activities fun for the kids, but they provided a bit of rest for Paige and Emily.

It was really the perfect afternoon, Emily thought: The two of them, a stroller, and kids running around at their side. It was a great family outing, even though she knew that most people would assume that they were just two long-time friends, visiting the zoo together with their kids, while their husbands worked on their cars or went fishing or something. In some sense, it didn't seem fair that people would assume that they weren't a couple. Emily understood, though. After all, their children didn't look like siblings. Anna looked like her, and Wayne looked like Paige. The jury was out on Michelle, but it was obvious that she wasn't going to get the darker skin and hair that Emily had.

It wasn't important what other people thought; they knew that they were a family. It just seemed like a shame.

Emily linked arm with Paige's, perhaps because of the subconscious wish to send a signal that they were together. Paige switched to maneuvering Michelle's stroller with one hand. "What are you thinking about?"

Emily sighed. "Just how lucky we are."

"Mmm... We really are, aren't we?"

* * *

Anna and Wayne still had some energy in reserve when they headed for the zoo's gift shop on their way out of the zoo. They enjoyed trying out the masks and the toys that made animal sounds, and they found about a thousand soft, stuffed animals that they thought would be perfect for Michelle. It was pretty much the way that Emily had envisioned ending a family day at the zoo, back when she had dreamed about it during the class' field trip. She kind of wished that they were on that trip again, so that she could fall asleep with her head on Paige's shoulder on the ride home.


	26. Back to School

**A/N - So, to start off, here are two more of those bonus scenes that I wanted to write but that I couldn't really fit anywhere ... :) Thanks for reading!**

Emily picked at Paige's hair, stroking her fingers through it. "Your hair looks different," she said admiringly. "I like it!"

"Well, actually," Paige said matter-of-factly, "my hair looks  _normal_ , now. You're just used to seeing it when it's different."

Emily scoffed, but she was smiling. "Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?"

"You always have to find a way of contradicting what other people say..."

"Do I?" Paige shrugged her shoulders, thinking it over and realizing that she did do that a lot. "I'm sorry. I guess it's something I got from good old Nick McCullers."

"Eh... Don't worry about it," Emily said with a quick kiss. "It's kind of endearing."

"And by, "endearing," you mean, kind of annoying?"

Emily laughed at being called out. "Sometimes, I guess." Moving on, she asked, "So you always wore it longer? Even when you were swimming?"

"Pretty much." Paige nodded. "The last time I wore it short was when Wayne was a toddler. He used to love to grab it, so... I don't know. It just wasn't really practical with with a little one. Did you have that problem with Anna?"

"A little bit, I guess. It wasn't so bad. I could just put my hair up, you know." Emily moved her hands around her head, miming putting her hair up.

"Yeah, I tried that for a while, but, in the end, it was just easier, you know..."

Emily nodded. "Do you think you're going to cut it again?"

"We'll see how it goes. But, for now, I'm not so sure. I mean, I cut my hair as kind of a break with the past; changing everything when I left Philadelphia. I kind of don't want that reminder of those days, you know?"

Paige, seeing that Emily had a somewhat sour expression on her face, followed up. "You like it better short?"

Emily backed her head away slightly to get a better look. "I mean, I don't _hate_  it long..." She curled her lip contemplatively. "I guess, if I'd met you when you were wearing it long, I might prefer it, but I kind of got used to you with short hair." Emily shrugged, as if to say - no judgment; those are just the facts.

"Yeah, but... Do you really want a reminder of what I was like when you met me?"

"Kind of," Emily said wistfully.

"Really? You want to remember my bitchy side? My petty side? My obnoxious side?"

Emily rolled her eyes. "No. I want to remember your feisty side," she said, upbeat. "Your passionate side... Your intense love for your family."

Paige hugged her, to get her to stop talking. "Okay, you're definitely looking backwards through the prism of love."

Emily shrugged her shoulders, wearing a goofy grin. "What can I say? I love you?"

* * *

Stopped at a red light, Paige glanced over at Princess in her carrier. They were still a few blocks away from the pet groomer's, and Paige wanted to make sure that the dog was okay. Princess didn't do well in the carrier, but she was too small to ride in the car without it. The best thing was for her to sit in someone's lap, but the only human passenger in the car with them was Anna, and letting her try hold Princess would've been a risky proposition.

"Mommy," Anna said from the backseat, "you hate Princess, don't you?"

"What?" Paige scoffed. "I don't hate Princess. How could I hate her?"

"Mommy Em said that you hated her."

"She said that?"

Anna nodded. "She told me when you worked at the pet ferapiss..."

"Ther-a-pist, Honey," Paige said, looking at Anna in the rearview mirror as she enunciated the word carefully.

"Therapist," Anna repeated. Paige nodded. "She told me that you thought Princess was stupid."

Paige chuckled. "I never thought that Princess was stupid. I just thought that it was... silly" (She didn't want to use the word, "stupid.") "to take a dog to a therapist."

"But if a pet therapist" - Anna lingered over the word, enunciating the way that she had heard Paige do it - "can stay in business, then that means that a lot of people would have to be silly."

Paige chuckled again, surprised by Anna's logic. "It wasn't silly," she conceded. "I was in a bad place, then," she explained.

"The pet therapist's office is a bad place?"

 _Well, it was for me,_  Paige thought. She gave a straight answer, though, not wanting to confuse Anna. "No, Honey. When people say they're in a bad place, they mean that they're dealing with a lot of bad things in their lives. And, unfortunately, when people have to deal with a lot of bad things, sometimes, they don't think about the problems that other people - or other people's pets - have to deal with. Do you understand?" Paige saw Anna's reflection nodding in the mirror. "Why did you name her Princess, anyhow? Was it because of one of the Disney princesses?"

Anna raised her hands and let them drop with a world-weary sigh. "I didn't name her Princess," she insisted, sounding as if she'd told the story a thousand times. "Mommy Em always tells people that I named her Princess, but  _she_ named her Princess!"

 _Why that little liar,_  Paige mused to herself, trying to hide her smile from Anna.

"I named her Mrs. Prindables," Anna continued, "but Mommy said that it would be too hard for people to say all the time. So I named her Pinterest, but Mommy said that's not a real name. And Mommy said, 'What about Princess?' and I said okay, but that doesn't mean that I named her Princess!"

It was all Paige could do not to laugh out loud. Anna was sitting in her car seat with her arms folded and a look of righteous indignation on her face. Paige didn't want to belittle her feelings by laughing at how cute she was. She was sure that, in Anna's eyes, she was behaving very much like a grown up.

"Well," Paige said amiably, "thank you for setting the record straight!"

"Mommy,"

Paige paused before she answered, to savor the feeling of being called "Mommy."

"If we got another dog, what would you name it?"

Paige furrowed her brow. "I don't know, Sweetheart. What you  _you_ name it?"

Anna put her index finger to her lips and looked up at the roof of the car. "I would name it Fofanna."

"Oh - like the name game?" Paige began reciting, and Anna sang along. "Anna Anna, Bobanna, Banana Panna Fofanna."

"And we would be the Banana Triplets!" Anna proclaimed triumphantly.

**A/N - And now... back to our regularly scheduled chapter! :)**

* * *

"Good morning..."

Emily's voice was soft, with a bit of of a lilt. She laid her hand gently on Paige's shoulder.

Paige, who had been sleeping on her back with her arms folded, smiled contentedly and rustled in place but didn't really stir.

It was, Emily knew, a big day. Whether it would be a good day or a bad day had yet to be determined.

Paige had long been looking forward to her return to the classroom, but she had been looking forward with mixed emotions. On the one hand, it felt good to be able to get back to the vocation she loved and that energized her. On the other hand, she was going to miss her family - especially her newborn and her late-morning brunches with Emily.

Also, Paige knew how difficult it was to take over a class from someone else. Her future students had started the school year with a long-term substitute teacher, and they had gotten used to her style and her routines. She knew all of them by name. And it wasn't just the children; their parents had gotten to know her, too. Even though the parents knew that their former teacher was a temporary substitute, it would be hard for them to adjust to the transition.

"You're going to kill it," Emily assured Paige, who, uncharacteristically, was still lying in bed, trying to will herself to get up.

"Maybe I should call in sick..."

Emily pulled Paige's head onto her shoulder and Paige nestled in, wrapping her arm around Emily's waist. "Wouldn't that be nice?" Emily took a few moments to play with Paige's hair gently. She kissed the top of Paige's head.

Paige looked up with puppy-dog eyes. "Don't make me go..."

"I don't want you to go!" Emily sat up a little, forcing Paige to sit up a little, too. "But this is the day you've been waiting for."

It was true. Despite her reservations, Paige had been greatly looking forward to the day she went back to school, with nervous anticipation. And she hadn't been just waiting passively; she had provided lesson plans for her substitute and had monitored her students' progress, even reviewing some of their homework and assessments. She knew everything that she needed to know about her class except which names went with which faces - and she was pretty sure that she would be able to pick that up quickly.

* * *

When Paige got down to the breakfast table, she saw Wayne and Anna holding a large, homemade sign on white poster board, in a rainbow of letters:

GOOD LUCK, MOMMY!

It was signed with Anna and Wayne's handprints. Emily had even managed to get Michelle's tiny hands on it, too. It must have taken a little while, over the course of a couple of days, to get it all together. Emily must have squirreled it away somewhere and sworn the kids to secrecy - and silently sneaked them into the kitchen while Paige was getting dressed. Paige was impressed that they had pulled off the surprise.

When they saw Paige's excited reaction, Anna and Wayne dropped the sign and ran to her. She gathered them into her arms and spun them around. "You made this for me?"

That touching scene didn't make going back to school any easier. Paige was already looking forward to summer, when she would be able to spend all day with the kids.

As she and the kids were racing out of the door, Paige started barking a thousand reminders to Emily about Michelle. Emily did her best to take it in stride, knowing how stressed Paige was and remembering how worried she herself had been, the first time she left Anna with Pam. But this wasn't putting a child in the arms of Grandma. Emily had been there with Michelle since the beginning.

"Paige... Paige... Paige!" Emily repeated, trying to get a word in. "I know what I'm doing, okay?" she laughed. "And you're going to be late!"

"Okay," Paige said softly, embarrassed at the way she'd been freaking out. She was about to leave, but Emily grabbed her arm.

"I love you."

"Oh, yeah." Paige gave her a kiss. "I love you, too. I'll see you tonight."

Emily stood in the doorway waiting as Paige got the kids into their seats. "Bye! Have fun! Tell me all about it tonight!"

Once the car was out of the driveway, Emily closed the door and collapsed against it with a sigh of relief. She couldn't help worrying about how the rest of Paige's day would go.

Paige looked in the rearview mirror at the two children in the backseat. "How would you guys feel if you had to get a new teacher today?" Paige was hoping for some reassurance.

"Why are we getting a new teacher today?" Anna asked, a little confused.

"Well, you're not. But hypothetically."

"What does high-pathetically mean?" Wayne asked.

Paige smiled to herself. "It means you pretend that something's going to happen, so you can think about how you would feel."

"I don't want a new teacher!" Wayne said quickly. "I like Mrs. Pajamas!"

"Wayne!" Paige gave him a glare in the mirror.

"Sor-ry," he sighed. "Mrs. Pujols."

Paige smiled. When Wayne came back from his first day of school, he was so eager to tell Paige and Emily everything that had happened that his mouth got ahead of his brain, and he called his teacher Mrs. Pajamas by mistake. It became a family joke, but Paige and Emily worried that, if they kept it up, one day, he might slip and call her that in class. They told him it was okay to use the nickname, since he wasn't making fun of her, but only if he told her about it. He never did.

"And I like Mr. Andrews," Anna added.

Paige sighed sadly. "I can't say I blame you."

And she couldn't blame them for not having said something reassuring, like, "I would miss Mrs. Pujols, but I would be happy, if my new teacher were as beautiful and witty and fun as you are." Something like that. But it wasn't their fault that they didn't recognize her questions as fishing for encouragement. They were just kids. She decided that she shouldn't have asked the question in the first place. She sighed nervously. She really wanted to get to school and get it over with.

* * *

Emily was waiting in the parents' pick-up area when school let out. She was almost as eager to see Wayne and Anna as they were to see her. When the school's exit doors opened, they bolted towards the car, where she gathered them into a group hug.

Emily got them settled into their booster seats, which she had retrieved from Paige's car and put on the window seats on either side of Michelle's car seat, in the back of the SUV. Emily smiled to herself as she thought of the words, "Paige's car." It had been  _her_  car - Emily's car - before it became  _their_  car. And her SUV had once belonged to Paige and Trevor. Spencer helped Paige get it retitled in her name only, shortly after she moved to Rosewood. They could, Emily supposed, get her name added to the title, and have Paige's name added to her car, but they didn't see the need. Paige wasn't going anywhere, and neither was she.

"Did you see Mommy P today?" Emily asked as she got herself strapped into the driver's seat.

"No." Wayne and Anna replied almost in unison to Emily's question. There replies were flat and without emotion. They didn't realize how anxious Emily was to find out what kind of day Paige had had. Paige had had to stay behind to fill out some paperwork and to meet with the principal - which was why Emily came to pick up the children from school. But she was dying to know how Paige's first day back int he classroom went.

It wasn't entirely altruistic. Emily thought back to the discussion she'd had with Hanna, after she and Paige had gotten into their first big fight. Was it so wrong to wish a bad day on Paige, if it meant a night of great sex?

"You didn't see her int he hallway, or on the playground, or... I don't know..."

"Mommy," Wayne complained, "she doesn't teach our grade!"

"No, I know she doesn't," Emily said resignedly. She would just have to wait for Paige to get home.

* * *

Paige, as it turned out, was exhilarated. She couldn't stop smiling all the way home, and she couldn't wait to tell Emily everything. Things hadn't been perfect, of course, and she'd had to deal with some children's emotional attachment to the substitute. But the substitute had made things easier, by setting some time aside on her last day to talk to the children about Paige, letting them know that she was their real teacher and that she had been keeping in touch with their work, even though she hadn't been there teaching. (A couple of students forgot that discussion when Monday rolled around, and were surprised - and disappointed - to see Paige sitting at the teacher's desk.)

"So, I made it into a game," Paige explained. "I asked them to tell them something about themselves, and I would guess who they were. I got most of them after one or two facts, but some of them took longer."

"They got to play a game, and they got to see that you knew about them!" Emily was beaming. "I'm impressed!"

Paige sat silently, staring at Emily with a stupid grin on her face, until Emily got embarrassed. "What?"

Paige shook her head, giggling through her nostrils. "No, nothing. I'm just not used to someone actually showing an interest in how my day went!"

Emily gave Paige a quick kiss. "Of course, I'm interested! I've been worrying about it all day!"

Emily picked up on the look that Paige was giving her. They still had to finish dinner and help the kids with their homework, but Emily was about to find out that exhilaration sex could be just a good as that episode of angry sex.


	27. Don't Do This

Paige slammed her messenger bag down on the bench in the entryway with a bit more force than was necessary. She had made it obvious that she'd had a bad day from the moment she stormed into the house, slamming the door behind her.

"Paige?" Emily called from the kitchen, with concern evident in her voice.

"Yeah?" Paige barked in reply.

Emily wiped Wayne's hands on a dishtowel. "Wayne, Honey, go see whether or not your Mommy's okay."

"But I haven't finished beating the eggs!"

"It's okay, Hon." Emily set aside the bowl that he had been using to beat the eggs and helped him out of his chair. She took his hand. "I'll go with you."

"Hi, Paige," Emily said optimistically. Paige muttered something incomprehensible. "Rough day?" Emily speculated, contorting her face into a sympathetic frown. Paige just gave her a glare for stating the obvious. Emily tried again, giving Paige a hug. Paige accepted the hug, but she didn't respond to it. "What happened?"

Paige unzipped one of the pockets of her messenger bag and produced an envelope, which she handed to Emily. Emily opened it up and took a look at the letter inside, and her expression changed. She rubbed Wayne's back. "Wayne, why don't you and Anna go upstairs and watch TV for a while? We'll finish making dinner later."

Wayne didn't need an explanation. He was happy to set off for some TV watching. "Okay, Mommy!"

"When did this happen?"

"Today," Paige said bitterly. "They pulled me out of class so that I could be 'served.'"

"Wow."

Paige was shaking her head. "If those old crows think they're taking my kids away from me…"

"Paige…"

"And don't think I don't know who's behind this! Don't think Trevor's fingerprints aren't all over this!"

"Paige…" Emily took Paige's arms. "Paige, you need to calm down!"

"Don't tell me what I need to do, Emily! Did you see that letter? I  _know_  what I need to do. I need to go out to Ardmore and knock some heads together, is what I need to do!"

"Paige, please don't do this."

"Don't do what?"

" _This._  That thing you do when you feel threatened, and you lash out against whoever's threatening you. And whoever's trying to help you, too." Emily took a deep breath, not wanting to add to the stress by matching Paige's anger. "Look, I'm sure there's a solution, if we just look at it calmly."

"How am I supposed to be calm about the fact that those douche bags want to take my kids away from me?"

"Okay, but, Paige, that's not what this says. It's not about custody, it's about visitation rights. Paige, they're the the kids' grandparents; surely you can understand…"

"Oh, so you're taking  _their_  side, now?"

"Of course I'm not, Paige. You  _know_  I'm on your side. And I get why you're upset, but I think you're making too much of this."

"Emily!"

"I know, I know. I'm upset, too. But, let's just be rational about this, Paige. First of all, the letter doesn't say anything about taking your kids away, and, second, even if it did, we would find a way to fight it, okay? Get Spencer involved, or something." Emily moved in very close, putting her face right in front of Paige's, so Paige couldn't avoid her gaze. "Nobody's taking our kids away, okay?"

Paige sighed deeply and separated herself from Emily, slicing the air with her hand to underline what she was about to say. "I… can't… do this, right now. I need to go up and shower."

Paige knew that Emily was right. She was overreacting. But she felt that she had a right to overreact, even if it was irrational. And yet, she didn't want to lash out (as Emily had put it) against the woman who meant the most to her, so she decided that the best thing to do was to put some space between herself and the situation.

Emily nodded her head slowly. "We can have a late dinner tonight," she offered softly.

"Thanks," Paige grunted. She turned to step away, but turned back on the sole of her foot. "I love you," she said, giving Emily a quick kiss."

Emily knew it, but she was glad that Paige had said it. She really needed to hear it.

"I love you, too."

After her shower, Paige showed up to the family room and leaned in the doorway. Emily, who had heard Paige approach, turned and looked, to see why Paige had stopped without coming in. Paige motioned with her head, and Emily met her in the hallway.

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

Emily nodded. "I'm sorry, too."

Paige shook her head. "You don't need to be."

"I shouldn't have downplayed it. I know that it was a major shock."

Paige let out a deep breath, grabbing a handful of hair and pushing it over her head. "No, you were right. I was getting all worked up without knowing all the facts, and that wasn't helping anything."

"Perfectly understandable."

"Look." Paige was in a hurry to get to what she wanted to say. "I've been thinking it over, and I think we need to get started on adoption."

"Paige…"

"No, I know, Emily." Paige put her hands on Emily's shoulder, to reassure her that she wasn't being rash or acting out of fear. "You think this is because I'm afraid that they're trying to take my kids away, and I get that they're not. But it started me thinking, you know? I mean, if something happened to you or me, whichever one of us survived might not have control over what happens to our kids. I mean, I would hate to think that Wayne and Michelle would get taken away from you if something happened to me."

"We could get a living will together…"

Paige nodded. "We  _should._  But that might not be enough. I did a little research, and, even if we had a full, legal, will, the state could still…" Paige sighed, frustrated. "Look, even if we don't need to do it to make sure they don't get separated from us, I still want us to go forward with adoption."

Emily, smiling broadly, hugged Paige, gently kissing her lips. "I think that's a wonderful idea!" Emily wasn't just agreeing to placate Paige. Adoption was something they had talked about on more than one occasion, but there didn't seem to be any urgency. But Paige was right about what might happen to the kids if anything happened to her or Paige. Emily agreed that they shouldn't keep putting it off.

"Can we tell the kids?"

"Yeah," Paige said eagerly, kissing Emily back. "Let's tell them. But not about the legal action."

"Agreed," Emily said firmly.

"Not until we get all the facts."

* * *

Paige and Emily shared the news with the Anna and Wayne over dinner that night. It didn't get the reception they had hoped for. The kids were pretty underwhelmed, not totally getting the concept of adoption. From what they knew of it, they were already in the same family.

"Do I have to change my name?"

"No, Honey," Emily said soothingly, "you don't have to change your name."

"That's right," Paige chimed in. "You  _never_  have to change your name. And don't let any man try to tell you different!"

Emily rolled her eyes. "Relax, Paige She's  _five._ "

Wayne looked back and forth between the two of them with eager eyes. "Will I have to change  _my_  name?" He wasn't sure what he was asking, but he was happy to get in on the game.

"No, Champ. Not unless you want to."

"And don't let any man - or woman - try to tell you different," Emily said mockingly.

They all shared a laugh. It felt good to be together; to be family. Paige reached across the table for Emily's hand and mouthed the words, "Thank you." Emily understood why. She had helped bring Paige back from the brink; back from acting rashly and possibly doing something that might make things worse.

Emily's words had helped, but nothing had helped as much as dinner had, the five of them together, laughing and joking. It was comforting. It was just what Paige needed. She wasn't sure that she had ever had "family" in that sense before.

* * *

Spencer met with Paige and Emily and looked over the letter that they had received from the grandparents. It wasn't, as Paige had thought, a subpoena. Spencer agreed that it wasn't an attempt to get custody - full or partial - of the children; at least, not on the face of it. But she said that Paige was right to be cautious, because people often try to use seemingly harmless legal motions to open the door for more action later.

Spencer advised them not to move forward on adoption until they had worked out the visitation issue with the parents. She said that it might look fishy, as if they were trying to use Emily's status as parent as a way to block the motion for visitation. If the grandparents' lawyers contested the adoption on that basis, it might get stuck in family court for months, not years. Paige agreed that they didn't want to do anything that would even give the appearance of hostile intent.

"Well, in that case," Spencer told them, "you might want to look into mediation. It might be better for everybody concerned - especially Wayne and Michelle."

Spencer wasn't an expert on family law, but she volunteered to show the letter to someone in her firm who worked in that area. She gave them some on-line resources for mediation, cautioning them not to do anything, and not to contact the grandparents, until she had heard from the family law attorney.

* * *

"What did you just say?" Spencer screeched, with a nasty scowl on her face.

Paige, startled, looked up, feeling a little confused. She wasn't aware that she had said anything, much less something that would provoke such a sour reaction from Spencer.

They had been hard at work all Saturday, having stopped by Paige's aunt's house first thing in the morning to retrieve Paige's files. That was something that Paige should have much earlier, and she felt guilty about having stored them in the garage for so long, even though her aunt assured her that she didn't need the space. Once they got the boxes back to Paige and Emily's house, the two of them had pored through the records for information related to the visitation and adoption court actions. Spencer wasn't the lawyer whom they were working with, but she volunteered to go through the documents with Paige, knowing that Paige would feel more comfortable working with her than with the family law attorney from her firm. Besides, she and Paige worked well together; they both tended to plow straight through things, from start to finish, without letting themselves get distracted by silly things like food or bathroom breaks.

Paige protested her innocence. "I didn't say anything," she insisted.

Spencer persisted, her face still contorted as if she'd been sucking on a lemon. "Were you just singing 'Widecombe Fair'?"

Spencer's tone would have been more appropriate for the question, "Did you just pass gas?" But once she mentioned the song, Paige realized that she had been singing softly to herself, without thinking about it. It was the song that she had picked up from Emily; the one that she had first heard Emily sing to herself that night when they were working on the puzzle. "Widow what Fair?"

"Widecombe Fair," Spencer groaned, and belted out, "Tom Pierce, Tom Pierce, lend me thy grey mare," singing the words way too quickly, just eager to let Paige know what she was talking about. Paige's mouth dropped open, which gave Spencer the answer that she'd been looking for. "God! The two of you might as well be married! You're obviously turning into the same person." Spencer shook her head in mock-annoyance. "I swear, if I didn't know better, I'd think that you suggested adoption to trick her into marrying you!"

"Yeah, I wish!" Paige said dreamily She caught herself quickly. "I mean, what? You know it's too soon for us to think about getting married."

"That's bullshit! You're not two hormone-crazed teenagers. You're old enough to know what you want, and you obviously want to get married and settle down with Emily."

Paige sighed. "Spencer, I can't even think about that. Not in the middle of all of this craziness. I don't want our marriage to be just one more thing in a whirlwind of things we have to deal with, you know? I don't want it to be like, 'Remember 2018? God, what a crazy year - fighting for custody, adopting the kids, getting married...'" Paige shook her head, with her lips tightened and a determined look in her eye. "No. If I propose, I want a proper courtship, a proper engagement, a proper wedding, and a proper honeymoon."

Spencer scoffed and rolled her eyes. " _If_  you propose?"

"Okay,  _when_  I propose," Paige admitted, her voice barely audible and suddenly shy. Spencer stared at her, looking almost as giddy as one would have expected Hanna to look. It was embarrassing. "What?" Paige whined, wanting desperately to move on from the conversation.

"Emily's going to be over the moon..."

Paige smiled at the thought that she could have that effect on Emily. "Don't say anything to her, okay?" Spencer glared at her. "I mean, I know you won't say anything. I just... I don't want her to have to worry about it, right now."

"My ass," Spencer said. "You just want to surprise her and sweep her off her feet!"

Paige just stood there with a goofy smile.  _Someday_ , she thought.  _Someday_.

* * *

Spencer's philosophy had always been to be over-prepared. That way, she as she explained to Paige and Emily, everything would be easy when it was go-time. That was Paige's way of doing things, too. She was more than willing to put in the preparatory work to make sure that they were ready for whatever her in-laws threw at them. She went into the first meeting brimming with confidence.

It wasn't as adversarial as she had expected. Trevor's parents readily agreed to go to mediation. Actually, they weren't interested in legal action at all. When they were finally all together around the table, they discovered that it had all been a big misunderstanding - or, rather, a big deception. Trevor had basically slandered Paige, telling his parents that she had spirited the children out of Philadelphia, in an attempt to isolate them from any contact with him and his family. When Paige told her side of the story - the cheating, the homophobia, the calls he avoided - his parents weren't shocked. Paige apologized for not having communicated with them at all. It was a major oversight, and, although it hadn't been intentional, it ended up causing a lot of unnecessary grief on all sides. Mediation ended up being a series of handshakes and hugs, both parties agreeing that they didn't need a signed, sworn piece of paper. Trevor's parents wanted to be a part of the children's lives, and Paige wanted them to be. Truth be told, Paige would have liked for Trevor to be a part of their lives, too, although that would have been problematic, given his tendency to lash out at her.

In the end, it didn't matter. Sadly, Trevor didn't want anything to do with his children, except to cause their mother trouble.

* * *

"I just wanted to say thank you. Again," Paige said meekly, her head dipped.

"Don't thank me; thank Spencer!"

"No," Paige insisted. "Of course, I thanked Spencer and Marlon, but I wanted to thank you, for keeping me from doing something stupid. If I had gone in there angry and threatening, taking out the anger I feel for Trevor on his parents, who knows how things would have worked out? It probably would have taken a long time to get it resolved, and even longer for to repair my relationship with the kids' grandparents." Paige squeezed Emily's hands. "So, thank you."


	28. Wedding Bell Blues

"I guess I just thought that we would be planning a wedding by now."

Emily's mood was subdued, and a little bit sad. She didn't feel that she had the right to be sad, but it was how she felt. There was no denying it.

"Okay, but, to be fair," Hanna told her, "you two haven't been together very long."

Emily shrugged her left shoulder. "How long does it take?" She paused and started again. "How much time do you need, to know that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone? I mean, we moved in together, we're raising a family together, she wants us to adopt each other's kids." Emily let her hands fall limp against the table. "What else are we waiting for?"

"You really think she wants to?" Aria asked gently. "Do you think she's even ready? I mean, this is a big step for her. She'd never even dated a woman before, and now you want her to think about marriage?"

"I think so," Emily said softly. "I don't know, I just get, like, a vibe from her, or something. Like, when she asked about adoption, and we talked to the kids, it was such a... It just felt like a real family, you know? And it was romantic and sweet, and... and I really thought that she was going to ask me, but..."

"So why don't you ask her?" Hanna interjected.

Emily took a deep breath and another sip of her coffee. "Because I get the feeling she wants to propose, and, if that's true, then I don't want to steal her thunder."

Hanna clicked her tongue. "My ass," she said in a whiny voice. "You just want her to propose to you."

Emily gasped in shock at what Hanna said - and at how she'd said it, but then she laughed lightly. "Okay, fine. I admit it," she said sheepishly. "I want her to propose to me." She scrunched up her face and added, in a whisper, "Is that so bad?" Aria took hold of her hand, shaking her head to indicate that, no, it wasn't so bad. "I want somebody to surprise me; to get down on one knee and tell me that she doesn't want to imagine her life without me in it, and then open up a jewelry box and..." Emily paused. Hearing it out loud, she started to question her motives. She ducked her head a little, and her voice came out softer and more tentative. "Does that mean I'm selfish?"

Hanna and Aria shook their heads. "It means you're a romantic, Em," Aria assured her.

"Listen, Emily." Hanna's tone was very serious, as was the look in her eye. "She's going to propose to you. She's going to get down on one knee and all the rest of it. And, when she does, this is the most important thing for you to remember."

Emily was pretty sure that whatever Hanna was about to say wasn't the most important thing, but she gave her her full attention anyway.

"When Paige pops the question, you're going to want to cry. And that's cool; Paige will love that." Hanna waved her hands vaguely as she said it. "But just make sure" - At this point, she was wagging her finger in front of Emily's face - "that you're not so caught up in emotion that you forget to say yes!"

Emily rolled her eyes. She didn't know how she would respond - dancing for joy, letting out a sigh of relief - but she was pretty sure that she wasn't going to cry, like some sappy romance novel. And, of course, she would say yes.

"When she pops that question," Hanna continued, "don't assume she'll know what your answer is. Don't leave her hanging."

" _If_  she pops the question, you mean..."

"Emily..." Aria pleaded.

"Do you really think I should ask her?" Emily wondered impatiently.

"Just give it some time, Em," Aria advised. "She's probably waiting for just the right moment."

"And maybe she's nervous about asking you. It can't be easy to propose, right?"

"No," Emily said, shaking her head slowly. "Do you think I should start dropping some hints?"

"No!" Aria and Hanna were in resounding agreement on that.

"I don't mean hints that she should propose, but just hints that I'm ready to get married. You know, that I'll say yes."

"Em, I don't know how  _gays_  feel about that, but I know  _guys_  hate it."

"And I'm sure she knows that you'll say yes. Just give it a little more time," Aria pleaded. "And if things don't seem to be moving in the right direction, then you can talk to her about it."

"What's she doing today?"

"Shopping with Spencer."

"Ooh!" Hanna wiggled in her seat, as if ready to pounce on some good gossip. " _Ring_  shopping?"

"No, Hanna. Spencer has some thing to go to with Toby, and she wanted Paige to help her look at outfits."

Hanna rolled her eyes. "Oh, yeah, a likely story!"

"Hanna..."

"Because, since when does Spencer take fashion advice from anybody? And Paige?" Hanna scoffed. "Hello!"

"I just know what they told me," Emily said weakly.

"And, besides," Hanna continued, "you  _know_  she's going to take Spencer with her when she goes shopping for a ring."

Emily wasn't ready to hear that. She didn't want to get her hopes up. She had brought up the subject with Hanna and Aria because she needed to get it off of her chest, and she wanted them to tell her that she wasn't crazy for thinking about marriage with someone she'd known for less than a year. But she didn't want them to fill her with false hope. She didn't want to start wondering whether Paige was gearing up to propose, every time she went somewhere with Spencer.

* * *

Emily knew that she shouldn't do it, but she couldn't help it. She found herself snooping in Paige's drawers, and looking for hiding places in the bathroom, the kitchen, and the trunk of Paige's car. It wasn't a full-out scavenger hunt. It was all very low-key; if she were putting laundry away, she might linger in the drawer, to rearrange Paige's bras. After she brushed her teeth, she might take a quick check under the sink, looking for a rag or some toilet paper - or a bar of soap with a secret compartment carved out to hide a ring. They hardly ever used their spice rack; one of those obscure spices like turmeric, Emily thought, might make a convenient spot to hide a ring.

There was one line that Emily refused to cross, though, although she was, admittedly, tempted. She wouldn't allow herself to pump Wayne for information, or try to trick him into giving something away. She remembered what Paige had said about the horrible position that Trevor had put him in, asking him to keep his affairs a secret. Emily was determined not to make Wayne choose between loyalty to Paige and honesty with her.

But the not-knowing was killing her.

* * *

Paige, of course, picked up on Emily's not-so-subtle snooping. It would have been hard for her not to. Her mischievous side wanted to string Emily along and tease her with false clues - a jewelry box left casually on the kitchen counter with what turns out to be a plastic ring for one of Anna's dolls inside, for example. But Paige thought better of that. She knew that Emily was in a fragile state, and toying with her seemed a bit cruel.

But that didn't mean that Paige was above toying with Hanna.

Paige (incorrectly) assumed that Hanna was behind Emily's scooping, so she decided to tease her a bit.

Hanna was eager to help when Paige phoned her and asked to meet, saying that she needed some advice. Paige made her swear not to say anything to Emily, because she would have been embarrassed, if Emily found out that she needed Hanna's advice - not to mention how hurt Emily might feel to learn that Paige had sought out Hanna's help, not hers.

Hanna sat up straight in her chair when Paige walked through the door of The Brew. She was trying to keep her expression neutral, but she couldn't stop smiling; smiling at the fact that she was the one whom Paige had decided to confide in, and smiling at the fact that Emily was finally going to get her proposal.

"What's so funny?" Paige asked with half a smile, as she sat down.

"Nothing," Hanna replied, managing to wipe the smile off of her face for a total of about two seconds until it reappeared.

"Why are you being so weird?"

"Well," Hanna improvised, "this is the first time that you've ever come to me for advice. It's like our first adventure," she said, clapping her hands rapidly but silently. "It's fun!"

"Okay... Whatever."

"So, umm... what was it that you needed advice about?"

"Let's get something to drink first," Paige said casually. Hanna was about to suggest that they should get the advice out of the way first, but she didn't want to sound too eager. So, she played along and did it Paige's way.

Once they'd ordered and made it back to the booth, Paige was in no hurry to get around to asking Hanna's advice. They talked about the weather, about the kids, about the differences between Rosewood and Philadelphia; they talked about everything, it seemed, except Paige's proposal. Hanna was trying to give Paige space to work her way to the topic at hand, because she understood how nervous she was, but she was busting out of her skin.

"So, you called about some advice?" she said as casually as she could manage, during a lull in their conversation.

"Oh, yeah. That," Paige said hesitantly. "Well, it's no big deal, really..."

"Are you kidding? It's a  _very_  big deal!" Paige gave Hanna a confused look. "I mean..." Hanna cleared her throat. "It's... uh... obviously a big deal to you, if you asked for my advice..."

Paige lowered her head and shrugged. "Yeah, I guess so. I mean... just that, well, this is still new to me, you know, and I don't want to make any stupid mistakes."

Hanna squeezed Paige's hand in solidarity. Paige looked down at their hands and up at Hanna, her eyebrow raised. "Oh, sorry," Hanna said with a giggle. She let go of Paige's hand. "Go on..."

"Well, there's a get-together for new teachers at the end of the month, and I'm going to have to show my face and schmooze with the principal and the Rosewood School District officials. I know how I'd dress for something like this in Philadelphia, but I know that things are different here. I don't want to call attention to myself by being overdressed, but I don't want to make a fool of myself by being underdressed."

Hanna's jaw dropped. "That's it?"

Paige nodded, with a submissive expression on her face. "I told you it was stupid."

"This whole secret meeting was about fashion advice?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, I'm a grown woman... I've been picking out my own clothes for years... It's kind of embarrassing to admit that I don't know how to dress myself. That's why I don't want Emily to know"

Hanna scoffed, visibly let down, and then proceeded to rattle off perfect fashion advice, in a swift, mechanical monologue: Colors that suited Paige's skin tone, to keep her from washing out without coming off as too gaudy, shoes that provided the precise amount of coverage and height without sacrificing too much in the way of comfort, a simple strand of pearls and a sliver watch, to make the look pop.

Hanna had never felt quite so used in her life.

* * *

"Remember that first night you and I spent alone in this house?" Paige said between kisses.

Emily cringed. "God... I was so nervous. I wanted everything to be perfect and..." She hid her face in her hands and shook her head, embarrassed.

Paige gently pulled her hands away, pulling them behind her neck to draw Emily closer. "Hey," she whispered, "you weren't the only one."

"That seems like so long ago, doesn't it?"

"I know, right? Sometimes, it seems as if we've been together forever. I guess you could say, my life didn't really start before you."

Emily stood up as she squeezed Paige's chin, giving her a kiss. "You can be so cheesy, but I love it."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm not burning dinner this time!"

Paige leaned back against the couch, thinking about everything. A year earlier, she had no way of seeing where life was going to take her. But she had no complaints.

"Do you think the kids are okay?" Emily shouted from the kitchen.

"They're fine," Paige yelled back, getting up to join Emily there.

Paige's in-laws had taken Wayne and Michelle for the weekend, as part of their informal shared-custody arrangement. Spencer and Toby stepped up, inviting Anne for a sleepover with Spencer's niece, who was spending the weekend with them. Spencer made the offer with a special purpose, knowing that Paige and Emily could use some alone time. Their lives had been a whirlwind, of late.

"Do you think we should call?"

"In the morning," Paige said. "Tonight, it's just about you and me."

They spent the evening reminiscing about their relationship. All of it - the good, the bad, and the ugly - from their first meeting and first impressions right through Michelle's birth and their upcoming adoption. They laughed a lot. They smiled a lot. They hugged a lot.

Emily was certain that Paige was going to propose before they went to bed that night. It would have been a perfect cap to their reminiscences, and a perfect prelude to some the-kids-are-out-of-the-house sex. When it didn't come that night, she was certain that Paige was going to do something in the morning; as the sun was coming up, or on one of the back trails during their run. Once again, she was mistaken.

* * *

They had dinner that night in the Pyramid Club on top of one of the skyscrapers in Philadelphia. The moon was out, the city was below them, and Emily couldn't help remembering their date in Philadelphia, which ended with them stealing kisses on the observation deck at the top of Liberty Place. She also couldn't help wondering when the proposal was coming. During dessert, she kept looking in her champagne glass, not wanting to swallow a ring, if Paige had somehow slipped one in there while she wasn't looking.

"Is the champagne okay?" Paige asked, seeing how tentative Emily was about drinking it.

Emily smiled. "It must be good to be able to taste champagne again."

Paige smiled. "I love nursing Michelle. I honestly do. But, yeah. It's great not to have to worry about how everything I eat and drink is going to affect her."

"Well," Emily said, patting her on the shoulder, "don't get too used to it. She's going to be back home tomorrow night! They  _all_  are."

There may have been a subtle hint in that comment about making the most of the opportunity for a large, romantic gesture while they still had some time for just the two of them. If so, it didn't seem to affect Paige. Another evening passed, and another morning came, but nothing came from Paige.

Emily was okay. She really was. It had been a wonderful weekend. Maybe she had read things wrong; maybe Paige wasn't ready to propose just yet. As Aria had said, this was all new for Paige, and she had been through so many changes in the short time they'd been together.

But Emily couldn't wait forever. In four months, Wayne and Michelle would spend the weekend with Paige's in-laws again. Emily decided that, if Paige hadn't made a move by then, she would take matters into her own hands.


	29. Moving On

Emily had decided that she wasn't going to push Paige to propose to her - not just yet, at least. She would give it a few months. But that didn't mean that she had to put the rest of her life on hold. She had a couple of major steps in mind.

At some point, she wanted to go back to work. It had been a few years since she completed her Criminal Justice degree, and she knew that she would need to take some courses to refresh and update her certifications. She figured she could take her time; allow herself a couple of years to finish the coursework, and, by that time, Michelle would be weaned and eligible for daycare.

And Emily also wanted to start trying for another child. She didn't want the kids to be too far apart in age. She wanted them to grow up together as friends, not as a couple of older kids with younger kids to babysit - or older kids who were too cool to have their younger siblings tagging along.

She needed to talk to Paige. She was sure that Paige wouldn't have any objections; they had talked about both things informally before, and they were in agreement that that was where they were headed. She would also need to let Wayne and Anna know. The child wouldn't be a problem; they would both be excited about that. But neither one of them had ever known Emily with a job.

* * *

Paige did her best to keep calm, with a straight face, when Emily mentioned that they needed to talk about their future. She knew that Emily wanted to get married - and she wanted that, too - but she wasn't quite ready to propose. She didn't want the proposal to come as a result of a discussion - "Hey, I want to marry you. Do you want to marry me?" She had envisioned something more romantic. At the same time, she knew that Emily wanted to get married. Emily may have gotten tired of waiting and decided to give Paige an ultimatum.

Paige didn't want to give her plans away, but she didn't want to string Emily along or lie to her. But this was all speculation. Paige decided not to jump to conclusions about what Emily wanted to talk to her about.  _Don't panic,_  she told herself,  _before you get all the facts._

"So, you know how I've been talking about wanting to start working again..." Paige nodded, quite relieved that this was what Emily wanted to talk about. "Well, I've been thinking that I need to take some refresher courses, and in order to do that without too much disruption to the family, I'd probably stretch it out over a couple of years."

"We can handle some disruption," Paige assured her. "We'll all pitch in, if you want to go back full-time, or whatever."

"Well," Emily explained, "I was thinking, two years might be good, because, you know; Michelle will be potty trained, and it would be easier to get her into daycare at that point."

Paige shrugged. "Makes sense."

"Yeah." Emily's voice was a little tentative. It made Paige nervous. "On the other hand..."

"Hoo boy..."

"What?" Emily smiled nervously.

"It's always that other hand! That's the one that gets people into trouble!"

Emily squeezed Paige's shoulder. "Don't panic," Emily said, as if sensing that Paige worried that she was going to bring up marriage. "I was just going to say, we've also talked about, you know, me trying for another baby."

Paige's whole face lit up. "Emily, that's a GREAT idea!"

Emily chuckled nervously. "It is?"

"Of course!"

"Yeah, but, talk about disruption... I mean, I remember what my coach told me, when I asked whether she and her husband were going to try for a third child: 'Don't let them outnumber you!'"

"Okay, but, we're already outnumbered," Paige pointed out.

"Yeah. It's already a juggling act with  _three._  Can you imagine juggling four?"

"Hmm..." Paige took a moment to come up with a response. "Well, there are only two of us, but we've got four hands." Her face took a mischievous turn. "We'd be like the Walrus and the Carpenter." Emily wasn't getting the reference. "You know? In the poem by Lewis Carroll? 'We couldn't do with more than four, to give a hand to each." Paige took Emily's hand. "Of course, I guess if all of our hands are holding their hands, we couldn't do this anymore," she said, squeezing Emily's hand to show what she was talking about.

"Bread and Butter," Emily said with a sigh. This time, it was Paige who was confused. "You never did that when you were a kid?" Emily asked, reading her confusion. "When you were holding hands and you came to a telephone pole or something, so you had to let go for a bit, you'd say, 'Bread and Butter!' - Like, I have to let go for a minute, but my hand will still be there for you on the other side."

Paige leaned across the table and kissed her. "My hand will always be there waiting for yours."

"Mine will, too," Emily replied. After taking a moment to savor their commitment, Emily continued. "Anyway, if I'm going to start trying, it wouldn't make sense for me to go back to work, you know, and then go out on maternity leave right away."

"Yeah. I guess it's just a question of what you want."

"I don't want the kids to be  _too_  far apart in age," Emily said softly.

Paige got all bouncy. "I'm glad you said that, because that's what I wanted, too. But I didn't want you to feel guilty if you wanted to go back to work!"

* * *

Emily was excited about the prospect of a pregnancy, now that Paige was part of her life. Of course, she had just been through a pregnancy with Paige, but this time would be different: This time, she would be carrying. She resolved not to be a pregnancy princess, as she had accused Paige of being. She didn't want to give Paige too much ammunition for teasing her. And she really didn't want Paige to say, "See? I told you!" whenever she complained about something that she had ridiculed Paige for complaining about.

Ever since she went through the whole pregnancy process that ultimately led to Anna, she had looked forward to the next one, knowing that the next one would be different. Although she had been willing to have her first child when she was single, she had been pretty sure that she would only have more children if she were in a relationship. Even though she and Paige weren't engaged, Emily knew that theirs was a committed relationship. Paige may not have proposed, but didn't have any worries that Paige would never leave her with two kids - or that Paige would leave her at all.

Emily was grateful for the support that she'd had from her family and friends the first time around. Still, it would be much better with Paige. Emily remembered the long, lonely nights after failed attempts at conceiving. As close as her friends and family had been, there had been no one to hold her all night and assure her that it would be okay; to tell her that there wasn't anything wrong with her body, and to promise that it would happen in due time.

Paige wasn't the only difference. Anna was old enough to know what was going on, and Wayne had become a part of the family, too. Emily smiled as she recalled how the kids had reacted to Paige's pregnancy, rubbing and kissing her belly, pressing their heads against it, hoping to hear a heartbeat or feel a kick.

She really loved their family.

And she looked forward to returning to the birthing classes, and the knowing looks that they would get from the nurses and teachers - "Oh, you two look familiar, but it seems the roles have been reversed!"

Emily wanted it all. And it was finally about to come to pass.

* * *

"I've seen some books," Emily said tentatively, "that point out how you can increase the odds of one gender over another."

The fertility consultant gave them a knowing and slightly patronizing smile.

"It's just that... Well, we've got two girls and one boy, and, well, the boy is feeling a little outnumbered," Paige explained. "I mean, we'd be happy with another girl or with a boy, of course, but..."

Emily was nodding her agreement eagerly. "But," she said, picking up the thread, "if there's anything we could do to kind of... increase the odds in our son's favor."

"Well," the consultant said, "I've seen thousands of people come through these doors, and probably hundreds of them have wanted to sway the odds of one gender or the other. As to whether or not those techniques word..." She was bobbing her head from side to side, like someone who wanted to be honest but who didn't want to crush their hopes. "I wouldn't say they're useless, but I'm not sure how much they improve the odds. And, to be honest, you're at a little bit of a flexibility disadvantage over couples where both partners are fertile. Those couples can time their attempts more precisely to the phases of the moon or the bodily rhythms, or whatever the books they read tell them to do. But in cases where we have to schedule your attempts, we can't be quite as flexible." She gave them both a sympathetic frown before quickly adding, "Don't get me wrong: We'll work with you as best as we can, but we can't always guarantee that we can align our schedules."

"Oh, we understand," Emily said eagerly. "I guess we were just asking whether there was anything that we could do from a dietary or... I don't know, physical standpoint to kind of stack the deck in our favor."

"Well," the consultant said with a sympathetic smile, "I'm not an expert on those things, but if you find a technique that you like, go for it! It certainly couldn't hurt!"

* * *

Paige put her hand on Emily's knee as she drove home. "Disappointed?"

Emily gave her a cheerful smile. "No," she said honestly. "It doesn't matter to me either way. But I'm still hoping for the best, for Wayne's sake." She squeezed the hand that Paige had put on her knee. "He's such a great kid."

"Has Anna said anything to you? Does she want a brother or a sister?"

Emily chuckled lightly. "I think she kind of wants a boy. At first, I thought she was just saying that out of solidarity with Wayne, but now I think she thinks of them like dolls - 'Well, I've already got the girl-doll; it's time to get the boy-doll."

Paige laughed out loud. "Man, these kids are going to be loved, aren't they?"

Emily moved her hand up to Paige's cheek. She couldn't wait to get started.

* * *

Anna and Wayne rushed the chair where Emily was sitting, reading the book on how to influence a child's gender. "Mommy," Wayne asked with the face of an angel, "can we work on the puzzle on the table?"

"Maybe you should work on one of  _your_  puzzles," Emily suggested.

When Anna and Wayne started to get interested in the puzzle that Paige and Emily had been working on, off and on, Paige went out and got them puzzles of their own, to distract them. She didn't want them to mess up the big puzzle, forcing pieces where they didn't fit, or losing some of them.

"But those puzzles are for  _babies,_ " Anna pleaded.

Emily sighed wearily. "Well, I guess you're going to have to ask Mommy P," she told them. It was her rule, after all, that barred them from working on the big puzzle.

"But Mommy P. said to ask you!"

 _Why that littlle..._ Paige was trying to make Emily the bad guy, but Emily was having none of it. If Paige wasn't going to take a stand and tell them no, neither would she. "Fine!" she said, throwing her hands up in celebration. "Go for it! Go crazy with it!"

She shuffled them off, but they turned, when they realized that she wasn't following. "Mommy, we want to work on it with you!"

 _Even better,_ Emily thought. It was like having a secret caper with the kids. They could do whatever they bloody well wanted to with the puzzle, without having to worry about Paige's obsessive, compulsive rules. "Let's do this!" she shouted, excited.

Paige was nursing Michelle. They usually fell asleep right after their evening sessions, so Emily knew that she and the kids had plenty of time.

* * *

"What happened here?" Emily asked in what was almost a shout as she crossed the threshold into the dining room. There were stray pieces on the floor and on the chairs around the table. Apparently, the kids had gotten started on the puzzle before they received Emily's permission.  _Oh well..._  Emily thought. She could cover for them. Paige should have known better than to duck out on the decision, if she had wanted to keep the puzzle-table perfect.

"Here, Mommy," Wayne said, handing Emily a cup full of green puzzle pieces.

"Oh, great," Emily droned sarcastically. The puzzle seemed to be made up of about 90% green pieces. At least, when she worked on the puzzle with Paige, Paige took on that challenge - one of the advantages of Paige's obsessiveness. "Thank you..." She reached into the cup and felt something weird. Before she could investigate, she saw Wayne and Anna pull back the tablecloth, revealing a puzzle that had been totally disarranged. Closer inspection showed that the pieces had been assembled to spell out the words, "WILL" (in green, vegetation pieces), "YOU" (in dark blue, sea pieces) "MARRY" (in gray, castle pieces) "ME?" (in sky blue pieces). The letters were rather ragged looking; not any kind of crisp font, by any means, but Emily knew that it must have taken forever to find pieces to fit together to form anything resembling the letters that they were supposed to represent.

And the weird thing that she had felt in the cup was, of course, been a ring. While she was still processing it all, covering her wide-open mouth with her left hand, she felt a hand on the small of her back. She turned to find Paige behind her, on one knee, holding Michelle in one arm.

"Paige!" she managed to say before she was overcome with emotion. She had expected Paige to get her alone somewhere, when it was just the two of them, to spring the surprise on her, but Paige had managed to involve all of the children in the proposal, too. It just seemed so right; so appropriate; so  _Paige._  None of their relationship would have happened without the children. They met because of Wayne and Anna and got close during their playdates, and they moved in together when Michelle came along.

It was a stroke of genius, Emily realized, to hide the ring in one of the cups for the puzzle pieces. That was pretty much the last place where she would have looked. But she didn't know how Paige had managed to pull off the rest - disassembling and repurposing the puzzle, and getting Wayne and Anna in on the secret without either of them giving it away.

The moment seemed frozen in time until Hanna's words came back to her: Don't cry so much that you leave Paige hanging. Of course, she knew that Paige knew what her answer was, but she knew that Hanna was right. She helped Paige to her feet and hugged her. "Of course, I'll marry you, Paige McCullers," she sniffled.

Soon it was a family hug, with Anna and Wayne hugging them around the legs and Princess circling them and jumping up and down with delight.

They were going to get married. And they were going to have another child. It was everything that Emily had hoped for and even better than she had expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any of you fans of the show "Monk" out there might recognize the "Bread and Butter" bit... :'(
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	30. The Wedding

Paige's proposal meant that she and Emily put their plans to start trying for a baby on hold. Emily, in particular, didn't want to "wobble down the aisle," as she put it, while her dad and Hanna made jokes about it being a shotgun wedding.

They still wanted Emily's baby to be not too far in age from Michelle, and since there was no telling how many attempts they might need to get Emily pregnant, they didn't waste any time getting to the wedding.

It seemed that everything in their relationship had happened at warp speed.

Hanna was up for the challenge of a quick-turnaround wedding. She already had most of the details figured out. She had been preparing for Emily's wedding for years; - ever since Emily came out. In Hanna's eyes, a lesbian wedding was the third-highest achievement for a wedding planner, behind a royal wedding (in second place) and a lesbian royal wedding, which topped them all. And Hanna had no doubt that Emily would have been able to bag a royal, if Paige hadn't come along.

* * *

Paige held the invitation addressed to her parents in her left hand and the stamp in her right. Her hands were frozen in place.

Emily walked up behind her where she sat and put her arms around her neck. She kissed the top of her head. "I'll support you, whatever decision you make," she said in a deep voice. Paige tilted her head back to look into Emily's eyes. "It's your wedding, and your parents," Emily reminded her. "Your decision."

Paige looked at the invitation again, tapping it against the table. "They probably won't even come."

"Well," Emily said calmly, "you can't control that. But at least you will have given them the opportunity. Paige, you have to do what's right for you. What they do or don't do is up to them."

Paige backed away from the table and turned to face Emily. "No," she said softly. "You don't understand." She was quiet for a few seconds. "I mean, can you imagine inviting your parents to your wedding, and they just don't show up?"

Emily didn't know what to say. She wished that she could assure Paige that her parents would show up, but, of course, she couldn't guarantee that.

"Did they come to your first wedding?" she asked sheepishly.

Paige chuckled lightly. "We kind of eloped," she said, adding with tilted head, "It wasn't nearly as romantic as the ones you see in the movies. We were in Vegas, and we kind of figured... What the hell? And, yes," she admitted freely, "there was some alcohol involved." She took a deep breath. She wasn't proud of what she was about to admit. "I sent them a post-card - one of those tacky, glitzy, Vegas post-cards - about a week later, announcing that we'd tied the knot. They barely even knew Trevor."

Paige felt a sudden pang of guilt. They didn't know Emily at all.

Paige knew what she had to do. She couldn't do that to them twice. Whatever else they were, they were her parents. Their relationship had always been strained, but they had raised her, cared for her. Loved her, in their own way, she supposed. With a deep breath, she placed the stamp on the envelope. "I guess, if they don't show up, I can always convince myself that the invitation got lost in the mail," she said dryly.

She honestly didn't know whether to hope that they would show up or that they would stay away.

A couple of weeks later, after the children were in bed, Emily handed Paige a letter that had come in the mail earlier that day. When Paige saw her mother's handwriting on the envelope, she knew why Emily had withheld it until the children were asleep.

It was not an RSVP card. Paige had a pretty good idea what that meant. Emily scooted close to her in the bed.

"Do you want to be alone?" she asked tentatively.

"No, no," Paige answered quickly, touching Emily's shoulder.

Her hands were trembling as she fumbled to open the envelope. Emily leaned over and wrapped her hands around Paige's arm, putting her head on Paige's shoulder. She wasn't looking at the letter. She just wanted to be right there for Paige, for whatever the letter contained.

Paige's mother's handwriting was still recognizable, although the letters were much larger and more ragged than Paige was used to seeing from her. The letter began with something that Paige had never gotten from her parents before: An apology. They had discussed the wedding, her mother wrote, because they really wanted to be there for her on her that day, but her father's health was too fragile for them to risk making the trip from Nebraska.

They wished her every happiness on the happiest day of her life and assured her that they were happy for her.

Paige tilted the letter towards Emily so that she could read it. She was starting to get emotional, fighting back tears, and she didn't want Emily to think that it was because of some new offense from her parents. She wasn't upset by the letter, just deeply moved by her mother's sentiment.

"No mention of the fact that you're marrying a woman," Emily said, mostly to herself.

"No," Paige said softly. "And no passive-aggressive mention of the fact that they would have been healthy enough to come to my last wedding, if they'd been invited."

As Emily tucked the letter back into the envelope, she noticed something else there and handed it to Paige. It was a photograph of her parents. Paige was stunned at how old and frail they looked. It made her realize that she hadn't seen them in years. She wondered whether they had sent the picture as an attempt to connect or as proof that they were really too frail to travel. As Emily clung to her supportively, she held the picture in front of her and stared at it in silence. Her parents were still together. They had never planned to start a family or to get married, but, there they were, more than a quarter century later, still together, still at each other's side.  _That must be where I get my stubbornness_ , she thought.

Emily kissed her cheek gently. "Are you okay?"

Paige nodded. "I need to go see them."

"Yeah," Emily agreed. "They need to see their grandchildren."

* * *

Before Paige and Emily knew what had hit them, their wedding day was upon them. Emily looked splendid in a mint green, off-the-shoulder lace gown with a long train behind it. Paige's dress, a crisp, silk, off-white piece, was shorter, hitting at mid-calf, and not as body-hugging as Emily's gown.

Hanna let the bridesmaids assert their individuality, with the same dress in different lengths and cuts, and different hats to suit their individual personalities. Wayne was the ring bearer and Anna was the flower girl. Michelle watched most of the ceremony from Pam's lap.

As Paige made her final preparations in a room behind the sanctuary that had been set aside for her, she was doing her best to stay focused and in the moment. Her first wedding had been a rushed affair, almost over as soon as it began - and the euphoria (not to mention the alcohol) made her memories of it an even greater blur. This wedding would be different. Everything was different with Emily.

Paige smiled and turned towards the door when she heard a knock. She thought that she had more time to reflect before they called for her, but she was eager to move forward. Before she could say that she was ready, the door pushed open and Spencer appeared, seeming uncharacteristically hesitant and unsure. "Um, Paige," she said softly, "someone's here to see you."

Paige laughed, shaking her head. Emily was the one who had insisted that they not see each other before the ceremony. "Couldn't resist the old McCullers charm, could..." Paige gasped, covering her mouth with both hands when she saw her father in the doorway as Spencer stepped aside. He was being pushed by her mother, who looked as if she could use a wheelchair of her own. "What are you doing here?" she asked, amazed.

"You didn't think we'd miss our daughter's special day, did you?"

"We've missed a lot in your life, Paige," Nick said contritely. "We can't go back and change that. But we can start doing better."

Paige was determined not to cry on her wedding day. She walked over to her parents and gave them a long hug.

"I just decided that nothing was going to keep me from my little girl's wedding," Nick said with what sounded like a hint of pride in his voice. Perhaps, if she had come from the kind of family that Emily came from, she would have objected to being called Nick's little girl, but it seemed appropriate somehow, especially on this day. She needed a mom and a dad on that day, more than she had realized. "Thank you," she said, repeating it and repeating it again as she clung to them. That was all she could muster. It was all that she needed to say.

Spencer had a word with Hanna who, after some quick shuffling, was able to make some updates to the ceremony and the reception to accommodate the unexpected guests. Paige walked down the aisle holding her father's hand as her mother pushed him in the chair. They joined Pam in the front pew as Emily entered on her father's arm. Nick McCullers stood for that. "You always stand for the bride," he told his wife, when she protested. That stubborn, indomitable McCullers spirit.

If Paige hadn't had the foresight to send word to Emily that her parents were there, Emily probably would have lost it on the spot.

* * *

Paige and Emily took a midweek honeymoon in Lancaster, Pennsylvania Dutch country. It was relaxed and romantic, with romantic buggy rides, some produce shopping, antique shopping, and plenty of long walks along the countryside.

Emily had never seen Paige eat so much as she did at the buffets. It was laughable. Paige ate like someone who didn't know where her next meal was coming from. Emily couldn't complain. She was the reason that Paige had worked up such an appetite. And she was more than happy to help Paige work off all of those extra calories behind closed doors at the bed and breakfast in the evening.

It was a three-day honeymoon. Pam and Wayne had stayed in their old house in Rosewood to look after the children, but even with Miriam pitching in, Paige and Emily didn't feel comfortable leaving Michelle in their care for longer than that. But the honeymoon was only the beginning. The rest of the summer was spent driving across country, in what came to be known as their family-moon. No one could remember who came up with the term, but it stuck. It was an advantage of Paige's job with the school district; summers were optional, so summers meant family.

The plan was to make a grand loop, starting with Paige's in-laws in the Philadelphia area, heading to Chicago for the museums and some baseball, then Nebraska, to sotp in on Paige's parents, and Arizona and the Grand Canyon before they looped back towards home. The trip home would pass through Texas, to see Emily's parents, Tennessee, for Dollywood, and Washington DC, before they headed back to Rosewood.

It was nice to be able to travel at their own pace, not having to rush to get to any of their destinations. When it got to be too long in the car for the children, they were able to stop, find a hotel through Hotwire, and rest for a while. There was absolutely no rush. They made some of their best travel discoveries that way, in towns they'd never heard of or never would have thought to spend time visiting.

* * *

Once they got home from their summer of love, as Wayne had started calling it, Emily and Paige got right down to the business of enlarging their family. The wedding and the traveling had been great, but the plain truth was that those activities had taken up a lot of time, and Emily didn't want their youngest child to be so very much younger than the others. There was no telling how many attempts it might take for her to conceive, and they wanted to get started as soon as possible.

As it turned out, Emily conceived right away - a fact that Paige gushed over non-stop for about a week or so, walking around with her chest pushed out and crowing about it like a dominant rooster. To hear her tell it, she - and her preternatural sexiness - were the difference from Emily's first time trying to conceive. Emily, to hear Paige tell it, was more fertile under Paige's influence; one look from Paige, and her egg dropped.

Emily shook her head and laughed it off. Still, she couldn't help thinking that Paige wasn't too far off-base. "Maybe it's something on an evolutionary level, you know? With you, and our family around me, I feel safe enough to allow my body to conceive; there's nothing to hold me back."

A biologist would probably shoot holes in that theory, but Paige and Emily were romantics. Emily's explanation suited them fine.

* * *

The children were with Miriam when Emily and Paige had the ultrasound that would tell them the sex of their baby. They were too young, under the hospital's guidelines, to accompany their moms to the ultrasound room. Miriam could have stayed with them in the waiting room, but Emily wanted some more time to let the news sink in - positive or negative - before they had to worry about how to break it to the children. Anna and Wayne were both Team Boy.

The nurse was very professional and workmanlike, almost as if she were hurrying them out because she had to get to a date. She took the final image and smiled at them, letting them know that it was over.

"Do we get to know the gender?" Emily asked tentatively.

"Oh, did you want to know?"

She swished her wand around a couple more times as the suspense and tension built. Paige bit her lip. She told herself that, no matter what the news was, she wasn't going to react.

"It looks like... a healthy... baby... boy," the nurse said at last.

Paige pumped her fist into the air. "Yes!' she cried out spontaneously. The nurse laughed. "Oh, sorry," Paige said, chastened. "I'm just glad that he's healthy."

Paige was still smiling when she got out to the car. It wasn't so much that she wanted a boy, but she felt for Wayne. Emily did, too. That might not have been Anna's reason, but as she told her moms, in one of those kids' moments where they sound much older and wiser than their years, "Six girls in the house would be a bit much." (She included Princess in the total.)

"So, that's good news," Emily said, understating the obvious. "Are you going to take credit for the fact that it's a boy, too?"

Paige rolled her eyes. "Yes," she said sarcastically. "I guided those male chromosomes directly to your ovum."

"Okay, now you're kind of grossing me out!"

"It's kind of nice to be able to call it 'he,' now, instead of 'it,' though, isn't it?"

Emily smiled. "I can't wait to tell the kids."

* * *

Wayne was sitting on the edge of his seat when Paige and Emily sat the family down to give them the news. Miriam offered to leave, to let them have their family moment, but they insisted that she stay.

Paige had a pretty good poker face, but Wayne knew her too well. He shot Anna a look, silently telling her that it was good news.

Wayne and Anna had, without trying, developed a non-verbal connection; communicating in a way that only they could decipher. It was almost like twins' intuition; the way that twins finish each other's sentences and know what the other one is thinking.

When Emily told them that she was carrying a boy, Wayne leaped into the air as if he were high-fiving the ceiling. As was true of his mother's reaction, it wasn't planned. It was just too much for him to keep down.

Anna's response was much more subdued. She walked over to Emily and patted her stomach. "Hello, little Baby Brother," she said into Emily's navel.

* * *

Emily was tired. She was beyond tired. She was tired of being tired. And her feet were swollen. Not that she could see them. Plus, for some reason, her nose was running all the time.

It couldn't have been that bad, she thought to herself, when she was carrying Anna. There had to be something different about carrying a boy.

And the worst part was, she couldn't say anything. After the way she had teased Paige mercilessly about being a pregnancy princess, she couldn't complain about the aches and pains, the wobbliness, and the fact that her shoes no longer fit her.

But the great thing about being married to Paige was that she didn't have to say anything. Paige always seemed to know just what she needed - a pillow, when she was reading on the couch and her neck started to cramp, a glass of water in the middle of the night, or a foot rub. Those were the best. If anyone had walked by the bedroom and heard the sounds coming out of Emily during one of those foot rubs, they probably would have thought that Paige was rubbing something else.

Paige and Emily consulted books, web sites, and their family and friends about baby names. But, given that they were a family, something that they hadn't had before, they wanted to give their children a voice, too. When they sat them down, they told them that they wanted to hear their inputs, but that, as parents, they would be the ones to make the final decision.

Anna suddenly looked sad. She was trying not to cry. When Emily asked why she was crying, she told her that she'd had lots of good names for a girl, like Forsythia or Amethyst, but there were no good names for a boy. She felt cheated (although she didn't tell them that); when Michelle was born, they didn't ask Anna for girls' names.

Wayne put his hand on her shoulder. "It doesn't have to be a boy name," he assured her. "We can call him anything we want!"

Wayne wanted to name the child or "Lebron James." Anna chimed in with a name that she thought would be perfect for a boy: "Xbox."

It became clear rather quickly that the children's input wasn't going to be all that helpful.

* * *

**Epilogue**

It was a sunny Sunday morning in late-spring when Emily's water broke. Things happened quickly, but they were prepared. Pam was in the delivery room, as always, and Wayne sat in the waiting room with the kids, for the most part. He took them to Dave and Busters to get some food and work out some nervous energy as they continued to wait for news from the delivery room. They rushed back when he received the text: James Xavier McCullers Fields, a beautiful, healthy boy, had made his appearance. The "James" was from "Lebron James," and the middle intial, "X," was from "XBox." He would always have a story to tell, if he chose to.

Not long after the delivery, Paige and Emily kicked things in gear for the adoption. Spencer's contact in family law had been working the issue in the background even since the mediation, so, once they decided to close the deal, things moved forward rather quickly.

Emily's parents and Paige's in-laws were there for the ceremony. They even managed to Facetime Paige's parents in - a technology that Anna and Wayne had taught Nick and Marlene when their road trip swung through to in Nebraska. They may not have been the best parents, but they loved their grandchildren. It was a shame, really, that they had wasted so many years. Paige sometimes wondered how different her life had been if her parents had developed that love for children earlier. In the end, she let go of those thoughts. There was no reason to linger over what might have been, when there was no way to change it. Besides, she didn't regret the woman she had become, and it had been her past - everything in it - that shaped her. It was kind of like that giant jigsaw puzzle on their dining room table. Taken on their own, the individual pieces didn't make sense. By themselves, they looked rough, jagged, small - even ugly. But taken together, they formed a beautiful masterpiece.

There was still much work to be done on that puzzle, just as there were many pieces to be put into place in their lives. They had their family, now, and that was a huge piece. They had faced obstacles of many kinds, and, no doubt, many more were on the way. But they would be able to figure things out and put all the pieces together by staying strong as a family. And with a little help from their friends.

Paige had her arm around her wife, who was holding their son in her arms. She gave her a squeeze and a kiss. She thought about their lives, and the journey that had brought them to that moment. It had been worth it. Everything - it had all been worth it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys - I apologize if this ending seems a bit rushed. I'm heading off for vacation in about an hour, and I know I won't be able to get much writing in while I'm away. I considered putting the story on hiatus, but I'm pretty sure I won't be in a writing mood when I get back, and the longer I put things off, the less likely I am to finish them. :(
> 
> Thanks so much for sticking with the story to the end, though! Special thanks to all of you who left a review (or a PM), and especially to those who took the time to let me know what you thought about every single chapter. You have no idea how much that means to me.
> 
> Have a wonderful summer! Stay Paily! I honestly love you all!
> 
> (P.S. - It's great to see more Paily stories being written and updated these days... I've got some catching up to do!) :)


End file.
